At work, I met the mother of a neighbor's child, who was 13 years old and in rebellious adolescence. During my chat with his mother, the mother lamented: The child is really bigger and more rebellious, and the family can't control it.
She said that the current situation at home is that parents should be careful when talking to their children, because if any sentence is heavy, the child is not happy, run back to his room to throw the door away, and spend all day in the room. The father and the child also do not deal with each other like enemies all day long.
At the beginning, parents still did not believe in evil, and when educating their children, they said, "Why listen to you, what you say is right?" "It can cool the hearts of parents."
It is true that children are in the rebellious period of adolescence, and many parents feel that today's children are not as well-behaved and obedient as when they were young. In fact, it is not that the child has deteriorated, but that there is a problem with the communication between the parent and the child.
First, first maintain the same height as the child, and communicate with the child as a friend
We teach children when they are young, as an elder and a passer-by, so at that time we are more condescending to give them commands.
But as children get older, they gradually have their own ideas, and at this time they also have their own self-esteem. At this time, parents are forcing them to do something in an imperative tone, and they will naturally raise rebuttals and disdains.
Therefore, if you want to have good communication with your child, the first step is to face face to face with your child as an equal friend. Parents may wish to ask their children more about their children's opinions on family building in life and adopt them, and praise them in time: "Children, you are awesome, fortunately, your mother has you by your side." This affirmation of their words.
Second, grasp the child's rebellious psychology.
Adolescent children are actually very simple, they are in a stage of high energy and competitiveness, so sometimes they always like to struggle with the wins and losses that parents have not paid attention to.
For example, parents reprimand children, even if the child feels that the parents are reasonable, he still likes to argue with his parents about winning or losing: "Even if you are right, then I am not willing to listen." What you say has your truth, and I have my ideas. ”
They crave approval of their ideas and personalities, so parents shouldn't try to refute their children's bizarre reasons. You can seriously understand your child's ideas, and if you think it is really good, you can communicate and adopt them appropriately.
Third, take the initiative to share your feelings
After parents can listen carefully to their children's ideas, parents can appropriately confide their feelings and opinions.
Parents do not need to worry about the child's incomprehension, in fact, the parents' emotions and good ideas for the child, the child is in the eyes. When many parents feel depressed, they can also talk to their children: "Recently you always lose your temper with your mother, your mother does not know what is wrong, and your mother is also very sad, if your mother has something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can point it out." ”
Appropriate weakness, the child is also easy to put down the aggression, will be more active and parents to talk about his feelings and thoughts, then parents can put forward some requirements to the child appropriately: "In the future, we have contradictions, the mother hopes that you do not lose your temper first, the parents love you very much, so where you feel wronged, you can communicate with the parents for the first time." ”
Disclaimer: The pictures in the text are from ins, the blogger is @kidzootd, if you also have your own unique insights in the process of educating and parenting, or encounter problems that confuse you, welcome to explore yo ~ together