1, online shopping for a two ha, but found that the variety is not right. Unwilling to do so, I complained to customer service: bad review! I have a problem with the pet I bought at your store! Customer service: Sir, please ask you to buy it

1, online shopping for a two ha, but found that the variety is not right. Unwilling to do so, I complained to customer service: bad review! I have a problem with the pet I bought at your store! Customer Service: Sir, please ask what kind of pet you bought! I replied: I am Erha! Customer service sent a smiling expression: Don't make trouble, return the phone to your host.

2. In college, a girl is doing laundry at midnight. A faceless female ghost floated up to her side ready to scare her. After the girl saw the female ghost, she did nothing. The female ghost was furious: "Aren't you afraid of me?" I don't have a face! The girl looked at her with disgust and said, "What's that?" I don't have a chest! ”

3. When I just resumed work, I accidentally burned my hand. At eleven o'clock in the middle of the night, the leader called: Ask me how is my hand? My heart was warm, and the leader actually called to care about me! Hurry up and say no problem! As a result, the leader said: No problem, you can go back to the company to work overtime now, and send you a car!

4, just work, accidentally burned the hand. At eleven o'clock in the middle of the night, the leader called: Ask me how is my hand? My heart was warm, and the leader actually called to care about me! Hurry up and say no problem! As a result, the leader said: No problem, you can go back to the company to work overtime now, and send you a car!

5, the family arranged a blind date, I feel that the boy is OK, but the boy has been staring at me. I looked at mao, and just as I was about to ask, he said, "Do you have any physical diseases?" I said, "No! He said, "Who are you lying to?" You've been tilting your neck..." I said, "I fell asleep last night." "He didn't believe it and had to take me to his mother's hospital for a check-up. After two hours, the test results are all right! I said, "I said I wasn't sick!" He said, "Believe it, and wish you happiness!" Good bye! "Gone? I spent thousands of dollars on the special inspection fee, was it tricked by him?

6. When I arrived at the company this morning, I heard our supervisor and manager chatting together. The manager said: My wife just got a second Ha back yesterday to raise, this morning at 5 o'clock to lick my face, harm I did not sleep well! The supervisor said: The dog is human, showing that it likes you! My brain twitched, and I said: Not necessarily, dogs still like to lick SHI!

7, mom arrived home: bought a dress today, take a quick look, how? The son's head did not return: good-looking, absolutely good-looking! Mom: Very happy, or the son is sensible, unlike some people, there is no fart! A moment, son: Mom, what is etiquette? Mom: Even if you are polite to me, I am the same to you! Son: Oh, Mom, sign it for me! Mom looked at it and snapped: Nima, stinky boy, you take such a point? The son is very aggrieved: liar! What about the good manners? Mom: What? Son: I didn't even look at your clothes and said you look good, why do you still have to look at my exam papers?

8, the cosmetics counter in the mall is engaged in promotions, the wife is very moved to see, said to her husband: "Honey, I want to buy eye cream, mascara, eyeliner." The husband looked at it and said, "I don't think it's necessary!" The wife raised her face and said, "Hurt the money!" Husband: "You know exactly how much salary I pay, you don't have to make your eyes so bright!" ”

9, the sister-in-law has a white complexion! Got a little white rabbit! Feed all day. One day! She asked me: Why do you say that rabbits don't eat nest grass? I said, "Not really!" It's just not time! Rabbits are hungry and no one to feed! Can it not eat nest grass? The sister-in-law listened to it so satisfied! Happy to go to work.

10. A boys' dormitory bedtime will last until 3 a.m., and suddenly want to discuss a question: "When you meet a beautiful girl, what should you say first?" A certain Jun woke up from the dream and said, "As I said, let's sleep!" "I hate this society that looks at faces the most, is it really so important to look at faces?"

11, the president chat paragraph: friends from the northeast to come to me to play, a group of six people, a car can not sit down! So I stopped another taxi and tried to show them the way! Repeatedly told them to follow closely, so as not to get lost! When I got in the car, I said to the master: Master, there are people following us! The master nodded his head at me, kicked the throttle and sped out, circled a few streets at great speed, and almost ran a red light! When I was relieved, the master said to me with a strange expression: I have thrown it off...

12. Elementary school classmates got married and invited me to be a bridesmaid. I was a little excited, but I still pretended to be shy and wanted to be modest. "Oh, people don't look good, you're not afraid to lose face when you're a bridesmaid!" "Oh, your looks make me more face-saving!"

13. In Shrek Academy, Tang San's academic performance was particularly poor. It was time for the exam that day, and Tang San planned to cheat. He said to the classmate in front of him, "When I kick your chair, you'll give me a look!" So at the beginning of the test, just as the teacher walked past Tang San, he immediately kicked the classmate. The classmate in front of him didn't know what was going on and didn't react at all. So Tang San angrily kicked three times in a row, only to hear the classmate in front of him "meow" three times in a row.

14, the abbot went down the mountain to change the edge, just happened to be a man's family to kill pigs, the man said: "I will send you 8 pounds of pork!" The abbot said, "Monks abstain from killing, eating meat, sin!" "At night, the abbot spends the night in the broken temple! The abbot said, "Make me a bunch of fires to illuminate!" The man said solemnly: "It is a sin to ignite the lighting, how many moths will be burned by the fire!" ”

15, the eldest bride said to his wife: "The name that the neighbor Uncle Han gave his grandson is Han Jinliang, and the name that Uncle Gao gave to his grandson is high-tech." We are also about to have grandchildren, and you should give them a loud name! Uncle He said casually, "Then our grandson will be called He Weapon!" ”