For children, the family is their best harbor, and parents are their best guides.
Whether a child can win at the starting line, whether he can fully develop his own talents, and become successful in the future, the family environment plays a key role.
As a parent, the biggest expectation is to raise excellent children.
So, how to cultivate excellent and outstanding dragons and phoenixes? Probably many parents will say:
Of course, it is for children to study well, enter key middle schools, enter experimental classes, and receive the best quality education!
However, have you ever thought that the best education is actually home education from parents.
Children can study hard and achieve excellent results, and the most fundamental lies in the parents' teaching and subtle influence on their children's words and deeds.
The way parents live, think, educate and deal with the world will play a decisive role in the child's personality, psychology and behavior, and will have a long-term and far-reaching impact.
So, what kind of family can cultivate excellent children?
These seven types of families have already booked the quota of successful children in the future, which has nothing to do with whether they have money or not!
Let's take a look.
01
Parents have quality families
Spencer, a famous writer and educator, said:
"We may not accumulate too much wealth or fame throughout our lives."
But every parent has accumulated some good experience and conduct through life. Give these to the children, and they will enlarge and shine with new life. ”
Yes, the world is inherently unfair, and the conditions given to children vary.
But there is one thing that every parent can give, and that is character.
And all the relationships in this world, no matter what begins, will eventually fall on character.
The character of parents is different, and what they bring to their children may be very different lives.
A netizen shared a story about his parents:
Mom and Dad are not great people, just cattle vendors, but my beef is always more expensive than other people's.
When I was a child, I couldn't figure this out, but later, I finally found the answer.
It turned out that several other vendors in the wet market were pouring water into the beef, one pound of meat and two or two water, although it was cheaper, but it could earn a lot more.
I asked my father why we didn't fill the water.
My father touched my head and said, Be kind and not be conscientious.
Besides, no one is stupid, you have lost your conscience, you have lost your character, who will dare to look for you in the future.
Later, I found that the vendors in the wet market came and went several times, but their own business was always the best.
Although my parents are ordinary people and cannot give me superior conditions, their personalities and conduct are forever engraved in my heart.
Tolstoy once said: "All education, or nine hundred and ninety-nine thousandths of education, comes down to example, to the integrity and perfection of the parents themselves." ”
If your child is out of trouble, when others accuse you of having a child, they will say, "This child really has no tutor!" ”
And the problems that children have when they grow up must also be the root of their parents.
The success of a child is closely related to whether the parents are correct in their children's home education.
What can really make a child mature is the character that has something to do with his life in the world...
The establishment of character comes from the power of example, and parents as children's role models cannot be escaped.
02
A family loved by parents
"The experience of parental love is an experience that I cannot have in this life, and I hope that my children can answer this question in the future."
There is no specification of love that is higher than the love of parents, and there is no temperature of happiness that transcends the harmony of the family.
The best thing a father can do for his child is to love his mother, and the best education a parent can give to his child is to love each other!
After many families have children, the children become the center of the family, and the other half is always the relatively snubbed party relative to the children.
In fact, the best state of the family is that the father loves the mother, the mother loves the father, and shows it anytime and anywhere, so that the child can feel the warmth and happiness of the family.
Huo Siyan and Du Jiang are models of loving couples in the entertainment industry.
When Du Jiang entered the door, he always hugged his wife first, and then he went to hug his son. The couple embraced in front of Hum without hesitation, showing their love.
Growing up in such an environment, Hemma will spoil his mother as a little princess, will think of bringing candy to the pet doctor, will take the initiative to care for others, he does not lack love, so he does not skimp on love.
In family life, what children want most is parental love.
Because, when parents quarrel, children will be embarrassed; children cannot bear the quarrels from their parents again and again; children who love to fight and quarrel with families will become sensitive and fragile, and there is no happiness to speak of.
Hellinger, the founder of the famous family arrangement system, proposed that happy family relationships are like this:
The couple stands closely side by side; the child stands in the middle of the front of the parents, forming a stable isosceles triangle relationship. Husbands and wives are life partners and common destiny.
Of all family relationships, husband and wife are the first.
When you put the relationship between husband and wife first, the child will naturally not be self-centered.
Family harmony is a beautiful and happy family for children. Parental love and no quarrel are the best education for children.
So, love your child, start by loving your partner.
03
A family that knows how to respect
The premise of respecting children is trust.
Everyone's life has countless possibilities, and the choice of life belongs to themselves.
What parents should do is to believe that their children can handle their own affairs.
In the child's life, parents should be a role in providing opinions and giving opinions, and should be the child's guide and inspirational teacher, not the decision-maker.
Bing Xin said: "To let children grow naturally like wild flowers, we must respect children's nature and choices." ”
Healthy growing children, in addition to love, should have respect. This kind of respect is not a doting on him to do whatever he wants, nor is it a paternalistic way of saying that he can't do it or can't do it.
Let children grow up in choices and learn to bear the consequences, rather than planning their life plan and forcing them to execute.
Parents should not only respect their children, but also respect others in the world, children grow up in such an environment, can learn self-esteem, but also learn to respect others.
04
Learning family
Mo Yan once said on Weibo: "I admire the children of rebellious parents, because I think that the children who dare to raise the 'banner of rebellion' first must be the chicks of the heroes of the world, and the parents will only love but fail because the hens will also love, not to mention that the other side of the most sincere love is often the most cruel and cruel government." Parents must be trained to be of comparable quality. ”
There are no naturally successful parents, and there are no parents who do not need to learn, and successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement.
Learning is an effective way to improve yourself.
The Li Yan family, which was once named the first Chinese Bookhouse, the most beautiful family in the capital, and the most beautiful family in the country, is a model of changing the trajectory of life because of learning.
Li Yan, who graduated from Shanxi Mining Institute, worked as a coal mining engineer, and later resigned to Beijing, where he successively engaged in IT, media and other occupations, and later resigned to create the "Second Study".
All this is inseparable from a characteristic of this family.
Li Yan's whole family is an "extreme love of books", no matter where he goes, he will carry a book with him, his daughter has heard about it since she was a child, and she has also developed the habit of carrying books with her and reading at any time, becoming a talented woman at Peking University and publishing her own works.
His wife, Liu Zhilian, in the process of accompanying her daughter's growth, also taught herself and became a well-known family education expert.
"My life, my family, has changed because of reading, and the importance of reading is self-evident." Li Yan said.
Dong Qing said: "If you want your child to become what kind of person, you have to be what kind of person you want to be." ”
Parents are the best teachers for children, the best education of parents for children is to teach by example, if children love to learn, parents must first create a family with a learning atmosphere.
In their spare time, parents are able to put down their phones, turn off their computer televisions, pick up books, pick up newspapers, read more, or learn a skill.
From the perspective of Li Yan's family, it is precisely because of the self-improvement of parents that it subtly affects the cultivation of her daughter's reading habits.
Children who grow up in such a learning atmosphere will become a habit of the child, rather than a burden that is enforced.
05
Families who know how to manage emotions
According to the survey, 90% of parents will develop anxiety in the process of raising their children:
How can I communicate better with my child?
What should I do if I am too busy to spend time with my child?
What to do if your child's test scores slip...
Why anxiety? Many parents are unable to manage and control their emotions.
Parents who have been anxious for a long time are often sensitive and irritable, and often lose their temper with their children.
Children who have been under the negative emotions of parents for a long time will be affected in a subtle way, become violent and lose their temper on the one hand; on the other hand, they will be estranged from their parents due to lack of parental understanding.
More seriously, parents can't control their emotions and are likely to ruin their children.
Due to negligence, a new mother let her five-month-old child accidentally fall out of bed.
She blamed herself, not only did not get the comfort and understanding of her husband, but was accused by her husband of "not going to work, and even her children at home are not good."
In a fit of rage, she chose to jump off the building with her children!
If parents know how to control their emotions and let their children grow up in a positive environment, then the child must be a person who can manage emotions, and interpersonal relationships will not be bad.
When a child is faced with a problem, he thinks rationally, not emotionally.
Believe that if you bring melancholy and pessimism to your children, then they will also repay them with melancholy and pessimism; if you offer joy and joy to your children, they will also reciprocate with joy and joy.
06
Good talking family
Some people said: "Whether education is good or not, you will know by looking at the way your parents speak." ”
Indeed, as the saying goes, "a word is like its person". Similarly, the way parents speak can also reflect the attitude and character of parents.
Parents are too loud and curse at every turn, which not only affects the relationship between husband and wife, but also scares children;
Parents who speak well can get along harmoniously and let their children live in a harmonious and stable family environment.
When families get along with each other, they must know how to measure up and be polite.
Gentle language is indispensable in the family. Treat children with gentle words, friendliness and courtesy.
One scholar did a great job of this:
He is a father who pays great attention to guiding his children, and at the same time respects his children's personality and wishes.
He has thoughtful consideration and arrangement for the future of each child, but does not insist that they must do it according to their own intentions.
The family is a place of relaxation and rest, do not vent the grievances and dissatisfaction in the society to the family, and put a face on the family.
Get along with your family, talk to make people feel comfortable, and don't be sarcastic and sarcastic in everything.
Families who know how to speak well often live a particularly happy life, husband and wife, and children can grow up in the friendliest environment.
07
Family with rules
No rules, no squares.
We all say that educating children, too much management, too little, is not good!
Because the indulgent love of parents for their children will make children lose the bottom line; and giving children too strict love will make children lose themselves.
So what to do? Set rules for your child.
"Freedom with rules is called liveliness; freedom without rules is called wanton; not being unbridled is called rules, and not being lively is called dullness."
Parents have this awareness to correct their children's bad habits, and children have this awareness to make the family better because of good habits.
House rules are not only for children, but for every member of the family, parents should also be strict with themselves, set an example for their children, and establish good family rules from an early age.
For children, these rules become habits, not constraints.
The child is a photocopy, the parent is the original, and the family is a photocopier.
The parents' every move will be deeply imprinted in the child's heart; the family environment will eventually be reflected in the child's long life road in the future.
To raise excellent children, it is not enough to work children.
Parents change their concepts, be an example for their children, be willing to grow up with their children, and provide a good family environment for their children, which is the panacea for cultivating excellent children.
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