18-year-old Gu Ailing has been called "beyond Yao Ming": what do we take to raise our own children?

In the past few days, as soon as I opened Douyin, I was given a lot of videos about her by Douyin and various video numbers.

My colleagues are also talking to me about Gu Ailing, anyway, all kinds of praise praise this mixed-race girl, and even many people think that she can surpass Yao Ming and so on.

What I'm going to talk about today is not her business value, this has nothing to do with me, she is really good and worthy of praise, and it is really rare to have such a high emotional intelligence at the age of 18.

For how to raise children, I think every child has its own mission, I prefer to let children play their own talents, even if the children do not have any talent, I think it does not matter, I can accept the mediocrity of children, but I will never accept that children have no character. There is no comparison between the dolls in the world, different births determine the resources obtained, different academic qualifications determine the gap between concepts and vision, and different economic strength determines whether children can freely choose what they want to do and so on.

So different, how can you measure your own children by a value standard? At present, all parents need to understand one thing, what kind of person do you want to raise your children into? What do we do to raise our children? How much effort do we have to put into raising our own children? What is our attitude towards our children's education?

The more you grow up, the more you understand a truth: you are a child, and a child is yourself. Children have all the defects in adults, and children have advantages in adults.

We can see ourselves through our children, and the values we show in front of our children from an early age are the values of children when they grow up.

The environment and educational background change the worldview, but the deep-rooted values in the bones are important to the parents' upbringing and teaching from an early age.

However, parents often believe that the external environment is an important factor in changing their children. I once knew a friend, his child's academic performance is very good and serious, but it is feeling that this child is unhappy and does not know how to be himself, does not know how to release his emotions, lives like a formula, you see that the child is studying desperately, but the face has lost the child's innocence, no friends, only books. Are you willing to let your child be friends with books and lose their real social interaction?

Some people especially like to follow the views of professionals to raise their children, but in the process of training, they find that their children are not suitable or the children themselves say that they are not suitable and then choose to give up in the middle, in short, they do not know what they want over and over again.

I also have some friends around me who will do whatever it takes to raise their children, even at great expense to ask famous calligraphy teachers to teach their children.

The ladder to success is to create all the superior conditions for the child at all costs, and the parents are very happy about the achievements of the child, as if they see from the child the excellence they have not achieved. Parents want their children to be excellent, at all costs to cultivate their children, as long as they can make their children excellent, parents are eager to report to their children.

But is this educational philosophy of yearning to be the best or the dragon among men suitable for every child? I also want to raise my children to be elite, but I find that my own will is not necessarily what the child wants.

Can a person be good or talented? My shallow and stereotypical cognition is telling me that it is not deliberately cultivated, and that the development of children needs to be cultivated but more of a natural and correct guidance from the family. If your family doesn't create a good environment, even if you send your children to learn, it won't make your children really good.

Some people say: there is no hope without money, there is hope when there is money, and the child determines the height from birth. The children of the rich will be richer, and the children of the poor will be poorer and more difficult it will be to get out. Is the gap between people destined to widen from an early age? Everyone has their own opinion on this point of view, after all, everyone's cognitive radius is different.

What kind of child do I have to raise as a father? In fact, I think that it is only necessary to raise a normal child.

First, understand the etiquette. I've seen a lot of good kids who don't know how to respect and number. Going to other people's homes for parties never pays attention to their own influence and behavior, and there is no polite honorific title. I don't want my kids to be like this, so good that they forget even the most basic etiquette. Etiquette is a character that a child must engrave in his head from an early age. From the age of three, children must learn to call uncles and aunts when they are three years old, and some daily rituals must be taught from an early age and slowly developed into habits. Parents should look at their children from the inside and not just from the outside, and cultivate their children from the inside and outside, I think we can let our children enjoy the respect of others for a long time. Unfortunately, most parents ignore it, at least many of the parents I see around me do not pay attention to this aspect.

Perhaps many people will think: children will know etiquette when they grow up, I do not agree with this educational concept, I don't know what parents who are reading this article think? We all envy other people's children for being excellent, in fact, our own children are also excellent, but you are not excellent yourself and do not know how to sculpt your children.

Second, freedom to retract. My child I hope he can put away some freedom, like to dare to do, dislike also to try to do, there is nothing can not be done, life must be tried, dare to try is excellent. My child doesn't need to be like everyone else, but I want my child to be brave enough to do what he wants. Children are actually interested in anything from an early age, but when they do it, they will give up. In fact, children are the same as adults, we can't think about children with children's thinking, we should think about children with adult thinking. Children also have city governments and small tricks, they are also testing the bottom line of parents and even children from an early age to cultivate their own inertia and bad habits of not willing to suffer. For example, a child likes to play basketball at first, but when he encounters a movement that he learns not, he will tell his parents, especially to his mother, when he returns home, he will tell his parents: Mom, I don't learn anymore, I don't like it, I have stomach pain and so on. At this time, the adult immediately follows the child's wishes. The first time it succeeds, there will be a second, a third time, and so on. I hope that my child can stick to one thing and do it to the end, I will try to help him overcome difficulties, and I hope that I am the helper of his growth rather than the decider. To cultivate children, we should observe more of their children's behavior, and then intelligently guide their children. Strict discipline is very necessary, after discipline to tell the child why discipline, discipline is not a simple and rude beating and scolding, so that your child can not open his heart to you, serious will cause the child to feel inferior and insecure.

Third, interested in hobbies. I have always believed that children should be interested in hobbies, especially boys. A boy without interests and hobbies will be very boring and single, and it will be difficult to fall in love when he grows up. Cultivating hobbies from an early age is actually cultivating children to socialize. A person who knows how to socialize decently can only be truly respected when he grows up. Hobbies do not have to be too many, but at least one must be proficient, which is the skill of the child to base on the crowd later. No matter which, at least parents have to pay the price to cultivate, less than three years or more than five years, I now hope that my child basketball play better than me, the action is more handsome than me, play like a defender, can revitalize the whole team, play the overall situation, if necessary, if their child's height can meet the athlete standards I will choose to train him to become a professional basketball player. The child likes it, and it happens that I like it, so it hits it off. As for learning, I don't think it can be taken as a hobby, it is the responsibility of the child, and I will emphasize this very clearly. Learning well is a responsibility, children must understand that no one can learn for themselves, learn more knowledge in order to go to a higher platform to show themselves, this must be constantly instilled with children.

Fourth, be honest. Honesty is a character that many people lack, I may value this character more, I think it doesn't matter if the grades are worse, but the character must not be wrong. Communicating honestly and not lying to others is my only requirement for my child. I don't blame my child for making mistakes because everyone makes mistakes, and being honest once will be honest twice, and lying once will be lying twice.

Fifth, know how to take care of others. Learning to take care of the people around you is the best way to cultivate emotional intelligence, let the child observe the needs of the people around him from an early age, and slowly cultivate the child's emotional intelligence. Some children are really selfish, and they only see themselves and no one else, which has a lot to do with the lack of guidance from parents. Selfishness is nature, a child who knows how to share must be the price paid by the parents from an early age and the parents have set an example. I've seen parents push their parents with knives between brothers for demolition deposits; I've seen parents sick children go on a trip. I've seen myself as a civil servant but never cared about my parents. How do you feel if your child is excellent, but is not filial to you and does not know how to take care of you and the people around you? Can we align ourselves with the standards and scales of excellence in character?

My children can be ordinary, my children can be talented, and my children can be ordinary in life, but I don't allow my children to have problems with their character.

Character is always fundamental to a person's social standing, and I think this is more important than other aspects. If a child is really virtuous and talented, it must be a good family style.

Some people often want to raise their children to be better, but I just want my children to grow up like a child.

Children can't do others, after all, they still have to be themselves!