1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance

1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to say: My stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.

2, the brother-in-law has recently been particularly picky eaters, every time he eats, he is always there to look at his mobile phone. The mother-in-law was angry and hit his P-share twice, and she cried as a result. The brother-in-law cried for half an hour, and we ignored him. After a while, I didn't cry, and my mother-in-law said: Don't cry? Hurry over and eat. The brother-in-law said with a handful of snot and tears: It's not that I don't cry, I want to rest for a while.

3. An unexpected car accident turns a man into a vegetative person, and his wife, who loves him deeply, accompanies him every day to talk to him at the sick window, hoping that he will wake up. One day, when she spoke of the scene when they first met, the man trembled a little, and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye. His wife shouted: Mom! doctor! Take a look! He cried! Smelling his mother anxiously servant to the sick window, he picked up the kettle and poured it down: How it withered! Isn't it telling you to water more!

4. Fa Xiaohua 6 million yuan bought a new house in Bigui Garden, and invited me to visit his home after decoration. After watching for a while, the two of us chatted, and somehow we talked about what year we were born. He was a pig, his parents were pigs, and his grandmother was there that day. Fa Xiao asked, "Grandma, what are you?" As a result, my grandmother was also a pig, and I had a brain pumping out: "I didn't expect it to be a room full of pigs!" To this day, I can't forget the look in Fa Xiao and his grandmother's eyes.

5. A heinous landlord goes out and is seen by the peasants. The peasant scolded the cattle fiercely: Stupid cattle, idle nothing to do! It's a whip. The landlord was not happy when he heard it, and this was not clear to me! He went over to scold him fiercely. The farmer noticed and grabbed a lump of mud and shoved it into the P-strand of the cow. The landlord wanted to have a seizure, but when he saw this scene, he couldn't help but laugh, and he asked: Hey, what are you doing? The farmer replied: I calculated that it would have to fart, so I would paste it first!

6, I am calculating the company's income this year, the loss, just when I don't know what to do, my wife came over. The wife said: Husband, there are so many new beautiful interns in your company, have you ever taken a fancy to you? I was busy planning the account and said: No. The wife asked again, as if to determine something: Really? I was a little puzzled, and said in an affirmative tone: I swear, there really isn't! The wife sighed and said, "Alas! You say how did I get blind and fall in love with you...?

7. My wife and sister worked in a steel mill in a foreign country and shared a house with others in order to save money. Recently she came back and invited me to the bar for a drink. At the wine table, she complained to me: it is really annoying to live with people. I understand: Yes, there are many problems with sharing, and they are particularly annoying. The wife and sister found the appearance of Zhiyin on their faces: Then how did you solve it? Me: It's simple, I kicked your sister out of the house.

8. Now I have successfully entered lanxiang technical school. On the eve of the college entrance examination, my mother and I had a conversation about the exam. I said: "Every year after the college entrance examination, there are many students who are self-destructive, and this year I don't know how many will die? My mother said lightly: "It is the adults who force the children to the end of the road, you see how good I am, I will never have hope for you." ”

9, because their own conditions are general, so there is no particularly high requirements for finding objects, just look at the past. Today, in the vicinity of the V letter, a girl named "more than two hundred pounds of little fat people" was added. I thought it didn't matter if I was fat, so I talked for a while and then asked out for a cold drink. When I arrived at the door of the cold drink shop, I looked up at her at the one meter and nine hundred, and I confessed...

10, I know a buddy who is particularly slamming the door, that is, an iron rooster, a dime. Every time he came out to play with this goods, he always hid in his own, and he only used someone else's. At that time, in the middle of the night, everyone ran out of smoke, and the brother who cut the door took out the cigarette box, took out one and threw it away, saying that it was gone. After a while, he picked up the cigarette box and took out another one, and then kneaded the cigarette box into a ball and said that it was really gone. After playing for a while, he picked up a lump of cigarette boxes and took out one, and finally mahjong was not played, and the three people just beat him!?

11. Today is my birthday, and the rich second generation in the class gave me a lot of luxury goods. As soon as I got out of self-study, Bancao covered my eyes and said, "Follow me, I have prepared a surprise for you." I walked with him for a long time with great joy, and Bancao said, "Okay, it's on the ground!" I opened my eyes to see the desolation and strangeness around me, and I looked at Bancao with expectant eyes. BanCao took out a new Apple phone and handed it to me. I excitedly took it and said, "This gift is great, I like it." Ban Cao said coldly: "Less nonsense, call your parents, just say that you are in my hands, hurry up and prepare 5 million..."

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #