My friend's daughter, Maggie, is 12 years old and is about to face the initial exam. When there was no holiday a few years ago, for several consecutive days, my friend suddenly woke up suddenly, and at 12 o'clock at night, the child was still writing homework.
After a few days in a row, the sensitive friend felt that something was wrong, so he immediately got up, walked to his daughter's desk, and fixed his eyes on it, the daughter was writing homework, but the mobile phone was still charging.
The friend pretended to pick up the child's mobile phone inadvertently, flipped through the few contacts and groups in her WeChat, except for the normal homework and jokes in a few dialog boxes, everything was normal.
The friend suddenly remembered that she had another social chat software that was QQ, so she quietly clicked penguin, lost the password commonly used by her daughter several times, and finally went in, the anxious friend felt that this was the last line of defense, and she was eager to see the truth.
The friend flipped through the chat history, and to her surprise, there was no abnormal conversation in the chat history.
Friends refuse to give up, suddenly see a group, there are laughter and anger, there are also some video links shared, she did not point the link, the video link in front of the text introduction, let her clearly know how indecent the video is.
The friend carefully checked each chat history with a keen eye, and sure enough, he found a clue: a girl with the nickname "Charm" took the initiative to ask Camicki to share the video of her and her boyfriend making out.
Friends clicked on their private chats, asked about academic performance, asked if there was a boyfriend... Judging from the frequency of her daughter's occasional reply, she was writing her homework at the time and did not fully concentrate on the second return. It can also be seen from the text of her daughter's reply that she is ignorant and shy.
And this sister in her mouth, bold and enthusiastic, confidently said how "beautiful" she was when she and her boyfriend were intimate, and curiously let Maggie send a photo of her private parts to show her, at this time, like the rhetoric of a girl who was "tricked" into walking away for the first time before the boy.
What shocked the friend was that the daughter actually sent a few photos of private parts that were dark and vaguely visible, and the friend almost fainted when he saw it, and the anger could no longer be suppressed: "You are a girl, it is really faceless!" She didn't expect that if she didn't pay attention to her child for three or five days, her mind would be varied, beyond expectations!
Children grow much faster than we learn about her
Many parents think that when twelve- or thirteen-year-old girls face puberty, they will only be ashamed of the changes in their bodies, or panic because of menstruation, and at most like a handsome or excellent boy in the class. Everything is pure and beautiful, just like when we were children.
In fact, in the information society, the Internet brings us convenience at the same time, but also brings a lot of negative harm to children, such as a variety of blinding advertising pop-ups, such as a variety of games that hook people's heartstrings, or many "sisters" who chat with Maggie, use the Internet to deceive girls' privacy, thereby manipulating children.
When the friend saw her daughter's current state, she was really a little caught off guard, and she wanted to punch and kick the child, and then give her a good "explanation" of the truth, but she also deeply realized that the child grew up and could no longer treat her like when she was a child.
The friend did not know what to do, and then remembered that a teacher once said that she and the child had a fierce conflict, the child did not talk to her, and she finally wrote a letter to ease the relationship.
The next morning, when the child went to school, the friend first went to the bookstore to buy a set of books about adolescent girls, this set of books has six books, the titles are "Girls, You Have to Protect Yourself", "Adolescent Girls' Private Room Books", "50 Details of Rich Girls", "Adolescent Girls' Growth Manual", "Girls' Positive Discipline", "Children, You Have to Be a Girl with Success", This set of books comprehensively tells about the physical and psychological changes of adolescent girls, as well as the various problems encountered by adolescent children, in the book "Girls, you have to protect yourself", it also tells many cases of adolescent girls netizens dating or shopping traps deceived, and several other books, there are also a lot of physical and emotional changes in adolescence, as well as the dangers and injuries that may be encountered.
Then, a friend wrote the following paragraph to his daughter:
"I'm sorry, kid, please forgive me for not controlling my temper last night. Mom wants you to understand: there's nothing wrong with playing with your phone and chatting, but who are you talking to? What to talk about? These questions are worth discerning.
My daughter studies well and is helpful, and many people like to make friends with you. You also long to make close friends and listen to your heart.
However, the Internet is not different from the real world, you can't see each other's gender, appearance, expression, you can't see what the other party is doing, and you can't spy on the real purpose of the other party.
Maybe your sister, who is two or three years older than you, is a lewd uncle who is dozens of years old. Maybe you know the netizens in your eyes and want to use your private photos and videos to extort, intimidate or illegally trade. Well, the consequences are serious! Once exposed, the damage to your body and mind will not be able to be healed.
In the future, when your crush appears, it will be difficult for you to face it calmly.
Of course, we can think of it as a big sister, saying something you don't have to have to satisfy your curiosity.
However, what kind of person is she a teenager who can live with her boyfriend and share her private experience at will?
In addition, if you are still half-hearted about talking about sensitive topics when you are studying, your mind will be disturbed and your learning will plummet.
I know that you are confused and curious about many things, then, I am willing to be your close friend, willing to keep your secrets tight, I am your most trustworthy and reliable person.
Daughter, you must know that your privacy and body parts, except for your mother, other relatives and acquaintances can not snoop and touch. Mom wants you to protect yourself from a little harm at the same age as the flower.
You're growing as tall as I am, you know about men and women, and you have a sexual drive. However, this does not mean that you have matured, and it does not mean that you need to satisfy your desires as much as adults.
You are still a young girl, a student, and even more a child. Your first priority now is to grow up healthy and happy and to study well.
When the sex drive arises, you can go to jump rope with your classmates, listen to an inspirational piece of music, or read a celebrity biography. One is to distract your attention from spreading, and the other is that you will get different gains and fun from sports, entertainment and learning.
If you really still don't know how to control yourself, this set of books may help you.
How envious of your age, with a strong memory and a strong body, you can learn more to arm your brain, and there are many opportunities for choice in life. I hope you will remember this time in the future to be fulfilling and wonderful! ”
Friends sandwiched this letter in the "Girl, you have to learn to protect yourself" book page 154, this page, there are girls through the Network credulously believe that others are eventually deceived, friends hope that the cases in this book can give the daughter a wake-up call.
One day, the friend received a note from her daughter that read:
"Mom, I know I'm wrong! I shouldn't still chat while I'm studying, and I shouldn't make strange friends. Thanks to my mother for making me aware of the dangers around me, I will be like "Girl, you have to learn to protect yourself" in the book, turn off the privacy button, do not let strangers add my friends, do not casually add strangers, do not use my photo as an avatar, encounter invitation information must be verified, do not easily disclose their own information, and do not follow strange netizen web pages.
Starting today, I will also study with my heart!
"Mom, I love you!"
My friend was glad that he didn't say more hurtful things on impulse, nor did he do anything too drastic.
So, why are today's children becoming more precocious?
In The Book, Girls, You Learn to Protect Yourself, the author analyzes the salient characteristics of adolescent children who are eager to make friends and focus on individuality. The sexy actions and seductive language of celebrities or Internet celebrities on the Internet may become the object of their imitation.
At this time, children lack the ability to distinguish between right and wrong, nor do they form a correct view of right and wrong, and it is very easy to regard the "trend" as right and beautiful.
In addition, many hormone-containing or high-calorie foods make children generally tall and develop secondary sexual characteristics early.
There is also the fact that parents are busy at work, only concerned about their children's grades, and ignore their children's mental health.
So how should we deal with rebellious adolescent children?
If you don't know how to treat adolescent children, it is recommended to buy a set of adolescent books with friends to see, "Girls, you have to protect yourself", "Adolescent girls' private room books", "50 details of rich girls", "Adolescent girls' growth manual", "Girls' positive discipline", "Children, you have to be a girl with a career" These six books comprehensively introduce adolescence, is a child's growth manual, very suitable for adolescent children, and parents of adolescent children at home. It is convenient for parents to understand the thinking of adolescent children, and it is also convenient for children to correctly understand puberty and know themselves.
These books tell parents:
1. Correct understanding of adolescent rebellion:
Adolescent children have an increased sense of independence, mentally want to get rid of their parents, but materially dependent on their parents. Rebellion is a way for children to cry out for help, and parents should pay attention to their children's psychological changes and guide them if necessary.
2. When children make mistakes, they should communicate calmly.
Parents' commanding and reprimanding will make children more rebellious or inferior and guilty.
3. Help your child analyze the stakes of the problem.
Letting children make their own choices is far more convincing to children than parents forcing them to make them feel convinced.
4, positive guidance, do not put negative labels on children.
Parents learn to understand and tolerate, do not repeat the past, look at the child with a developmental eye, and look at the excellent side of the child.
The books tell the girls:
1, early love is beautiful, but the bitterness you have to bear is far greater than the beauty;
2, make a thorny rose, instead of making a "silly white sweet";
3. Teach girls to identify common dangerous scams in life;
4, in the face of strangers' behavior, should be more vigilant;
5. Teach girls how to deal with the budding of adolescence and how to face early love;
6, teach girls, the most powerful defensive weapon is themselves.
Write at the end:
Adolescence is an important turning point in a child's life, which will affect his future mate choice and career. When parents face problems that cannot be solved, do not break the jar and break it.
Parents' self-education, introspection and change are the panacea for educating children.
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