In order to exercise their children, some parents specially conceal family conditions from their children to "raise poor" their children, thinking that their children can understand things.
But those children who seem to be "sensible" are essentially "low-desire" children with the brand of poverty.
Recently, My Mother saw a netizen's heartache on the Internet:
When I was a child, my parents always instilled in me the idea that "my family is poor, I must be sensible, and I can't spend money indiscriminately".
As a result, I have been sensible since I was a child, but I have never felt happy.
Even if it is a 5 cent pack of sour and spicy powder, I will struggle in my heart for several days before I dare to pluck up the courage to tell my parents that I want to eat it.
Most of the time, my parents would always reject me and accuse me of saying, "What to eat!" Don't know to save, don't look at people eating you have to eat! ”
Only once, my parents bought me a chutney powder, but I knocked it over after just two bites, and I was both distressed and sad, so I picked up the fans that fell to the ground and ate them.
Later, I learned that the conditions at home were not bad, but my parents still told me that it was not easy to earn money, and everything had to save flowers...
Even when I lived in high school and studied in other places in college, I only paid half the living expenses of my classmates every month, only dared to eat the cheapest dishes, and even kept being ridiculed for slamming the door.
Now, although I am working, I have vanity on one side of my heart, and I want to satisfy the material desires that I have missed in the past;
On the other hand, they are inferior, sensitive, and insecure, always feeling that they are not worthy of anything good, have no sense of security, and feel useless.
After reading this confession of netizens, My mother was really distressed.
The child who has been poorly raised silently endures the loss of "love but cannot", comforts himself with the reason of "should not want", and finally is hit by this way of education and becomes a spiritual poor.
Deliberate poverty can ruin children
The real family poverty is not terrible, and children who grow up in such an environment, although they are a little materially scarce, can understand the difficulties of their parents.
However, deliberately raising children poorly will only end up raising children poorly.
Children who grow up in such an environment not only feel material scarcity, but also have indifference to family affection.
In the process of deliberately raising children poorly, parents will always instill a feeling of "undeserved" in their children.
No matter how cheap things are, parents are not satisfied, and will only make children deny themselves and feel that they are not worthy of being loved.
In a variety show, education expert Ma Jian shared a case:
A girl, raised poorly since childhood, her parents have never bought anything for the girl, and they control exactly every penny spent on their daughter.
The child grew up, reached the age of love and marriage, once went out with colleagues, saw a crystal ball, very cheap, but she stared at it for half a day, and did not dare to buy it.
A man next to him found out and bought one for the girl.
The girl felt that this was a manifestation of love, and she was easily captured by this man.
A crystal ball, although not valuable, for the daughter, this is a manifestation of love, a satisfaction that parents have never given.
But then unfortunately, the girl found herself cheated, and the man was married, but he still provoked her.
In the eyes of a child who was deliberately raised poorly, if she is willing to spend money for me, she must love me, just like this little girl who was cheated out of the crystal ball, what she wants is the material satisfaction that has been missing since childhood.
Such a child will always unconsciously covet material enjoyment, but in his heart he will fall into the abyss of "unworthiness" and eventually miss a lot of the beauty of life.
Deliberately poor children, the most critical is not the lack of materials, but the lack of spiritual love, so that children have a poor thinking mode, which is the most harmful point.
Spiritual enrichment can transcend family circumstances
No matter what the family situation is, as long as you can raise your child spiritually and water and fertilize his soul, eventually your child will become excellent.
When recalling his mother's teaching, the host Jing Yidan mentioned a sentence "80 years old, also want to be an elegant woman."
This is the spiritual wealth that her grandfather passed on to her mother, and her mother passed on to her.
In the era of material poverty, Grandpa's family was very poor, but every time he came back from the field to collect grass, he couldn't take care of his own sweat and first said to the children at home: "There are flowers in the grass!" ”
The children opened the bundles of grass that Grandpa had brought back, and found that there were colorful wildflowers inside, so they found bottles and cans, arranged the wildflowers, and placed them in the room, and the simple room lit up at once!
Despite the poor conditions at home, life cannot be poor.
It is never poverty that determines whether life is difficult, but the attitude of parents.
Children whose parents have always been rich will never worry about the rich and poor at home, and can feel love and happiness in their every word and deed and every move of their families.
Raising a child poorly is to hope that he will not covet enjoyment, indulge in materials, and extravagant waste, but deliberately cutting off all the material needs of children will only have a negative effect.
Good parents do not stifle their children's wishes, do not over-describe the stress and bitterness of life.
When faced with the needs of children, they will choose to meet or reject according to the real situation, and treat children with equality and respect.
So parents, don't deliberately raise your child poorly, you will only raise him poorly!