Every parent wants their children to be able to be filial to their parents when they grow up. However, not all children will become filial piety, and some children will show a "filial piety" performance from an early age.
Children who like to hang two mantras on their lips when they are young have the hint of filial piety, and parents should not let it go
"This is mine"
Xiao Qiang's mother's love for Xiao Qiang is very deep, because when Xiao Qiang was a child, her mother accidentally dropped Xiao Qiang on the ground when holding Xiao Qiang, although Xiao Qiang did not have any sequelae because of this, but for her mother, this matter is something that she has not been able to let go. Therefore, Xiao Qiang's mother will take care of Xiao Qiang in the days to come, and she can be described as dear and perfectly cared for everywhere.
For example, in ordinary life, if Xiao Qiang's mother buys something delicious to eat at home, or makes a delicious meal, she always lets Xiao Qiang eat first, and also chooses the best food for Xiao Qiang.
Seeing her child eating up, Xiao Qiang's mother also got a little comfort in her heart, and felt that she had made up for Xiao Qiang. However, Xiao Qiang's mother did not notice that Xiao Qiang gradually developed a mantra, that is, "This is mine".
In the mother's heart, feeling that she is so good to the child, she can make up for her mistakes, and she is so good to Xiaoqiang, the child will definitely be very filial to the parents when she grows up. However, when Xiao Qiang grew up, it was not like this at all, Xiao Qiang was not very filial to his parents, and even complained about his parents, which made Xiao Qiang's mother very surprised.
Analysis: The reason why Xiao Qiang complains about his parents is mainly because his parents have always given their children the best things when they are young, and let the children have a preferential choice, resulting in children thinking from an early age that they should be treated the best in this family and should be taken care of by their parents, so there will be a mantra such as "this is mine".
And when the child gradually grows up and begins to live independently, it is found that the parents are not as good to themselves as before, and do not take the initiative to buy themselves good food, easy to use, and fun, the child will think that the parents are not good for themselves, so they will complain.
In fact, this behavior of small and strong parents is a typical coddling behavior, this behavior is very harmful to the growth of children, and children will have a wrong view of right and wrong, and will lose more opportunities for self-reliance and cannot live independently.
At the same time, children cannot produce correct gratitude, cannot correctly recognize their parents' efforts to themselves, and thus lose the "source power" of filial piety to their parents and become unfilial.
[Tutu Dad's Suggestion]: No matter how much parents love their children, no matter what parents have done to apologize for their children and want to make up for it, on the road of children's growth, it is not recommended to spoil their children excessively.
The healthy growth of children is to experience some things that must be experienced, so that children can get certain experience, skills and improvement of their own abilities in the process of growth, so that it is the growth phenomenon that should be achieved, and the child can achieve the purpose of growth.
"It's none of my business"
Aaron has a mantra "This is not my business", usually whether at home or at school, when something appears, Aaron always likes to say this sentence, and even sometimes some things can only be done by Aaron, but Aaron will still say so.
Once Aaron and his father were at home, Aaron spilled the kettle when pouring water, and the result was that Aaron's first reaction was not to quickly clean up the sprinkled water, but to look at his father for the first time and say, "This is not my business", when his father heard this sentence, his brain was immediately disconnected, thinking "Is there a supernatural event?" ”
Of course, Aaron's father is just spitting out Aaron's behavior in his heart. Aaron's father did not realize the consequences of this mantra in his child, so he did not care. However, when Aaron grew up, Aaron's father regretted it.
After Aaron became a family, he lived separately from the second elder. Once the faucet at Aaron's father's house was broken, because Aaron's father was unwell, he called Aaron to help him change the faucet, and as a result, Aaron replied with a sentence of "This is not my business" There is no follow-up!
Later, Aaron's mother fell ill and was hospitalized, and Aaron's father had a hard time taking care of his wife alone, so he looked for Aaron to take care of it, and as a result, Aaron refused another sentence of "This is not my business".
And so on, countless, Aaron's father is simply disappointed, he once treated Aaron so well, why is the child so unfilial?
Analysis: Children like to say "this is not my business" from childhood, in fact, is a strong lack of responsibility phenomenon, parents should pay attention to, because such children often in the personality will be particularly self- , will only consider their own feelings, never consider the feelings of others, to put it bluntly is very selfish.
The reasons for the lack of responsibility of children are mainly two points:
Parental influence: Parents themselves may have some bad habits, such as having such mantras, or often like to refuse to help others, often shirk responsibility, etc. Children will naturally learn after watching for a long time. Parents are not correct in their children's education methods, and usually educate their children excessively and severely, resulting in children unable to withstand criticism or "wrongdoing" from parents, thus gradually deriving a self-protection behavior. Because the child feels that as long as the responsibility is pushed away, this matter has nothing to do with himself, then the parents will not criticize themselves.
[Tutu Dad's Suggestion]: When educating their children, parents must pay attention to leading by example, not showing some bad habits in front of their children, and letting their children learn some correct things.
In addition, parents should also pay attention to their own education methods, neither too doting, nor too harsh, but to encourage education and criticism education, in the right time appropriate use, in order to maintain the healthy growth of children.
epilogue
Children's filial piety is not filial piety, in fact, it is also a mirror that reflects the effect of parental tutoring, and the reason why most children are not filial piety is because of the wrong education of parents.
Therefore, parents must pay attention to their own education methods and avoid using the wrong education methods, otherwise they will only delay their children and harm themselves in the end.
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