Children are bullied, and different parents have different practices.
Some parents do not want to cause trouble, will be big things into small things, teach the baby to say "it's okay".
Some parents will angrily go to teachers and parents to make things bigger, and they have to fight for their babies.
Some parents believe that they should not be instigated, but should treat their bodies in the way of others and encourage the baby to fight back.
For this problem, I have always adhered to a principle, that is, "do not cause trouble, and do not fear things."
It is the low-level parents who teach the baby to say "it doesn't matter", which will only make the child not know how to protect himself, dare not protect his rights and interests, become timid and cowardly, develop a flattering personality, and be bullied again.
It is correct to find a teacher and find a parent, but it is easy to reduce the child's impression score in the teacher's mind, and at the same time affect the harmonious interaction between the two families, after all, the child is studying in a school, usually looking up and not looking down, hurt and angry is not good.
Encourage the baby to fight back, fight violence with violence, let the baby breathe, but the symptoms are not cured, and may mislead the child, so that the child thinks that violence can solve all problems, and it is easy to develop a grumpy and domineering personality.
High-level parents will do this when the baby is bullied, so that the baby "can't afford it"!
Baby is bullied, how should parents intervene gracefully?
I believe that most parents, when they learn that their baby has been bullied, their first reaction is anger, and they are eager to find the "bad boy" to teach him a lesson. But, if you think about it, does this turn the priorities upside down?
If someone else's baby has done something wrong, it should naturally be educated by his parents, so why should we make a fuss? It is more important to take care of your own baby's emotions.
First pay attention to observe how the child behaves when he is bullied by others. If the child doesn't care, doesn't feel that he has suffered a loss, or the child has a good mentality and has forgiven the child who bullied people, the parents do not have to interfere too much. It is good that children have the ability to self-regulate their emotions.
If the child feels very wronged, sad, angry, and extremely depressed about being bullied, parents should pay attention. Don't indiscriminately blame the child and continue to hit your own child, but calmly ask the child what happened. Send a message to your child: Mom and Dad care a lot about your feelings, and you can say what grievances you have. After receiving firm feedback from parents, the child will recount the events without reservation. During the period, parents should be more patient and not easily interrupt their children's words. When the child is finished, he must also stand in the child's point of view to show empathy: "Then you must be very sad, right?" ”
In this way, one can clearly know why the child is bullied, and the other is to understand the child's feelings and better communicate with the child.
Looking back at the whole thing, it is necessary to further guide the child to say what he really thinks in his heart.
"What did you want to do when you were bullied?"
"I'm going to hit him too!"
"Never play with him again!"
"Tell Mom and Dad and teachers."
"If he apologizes, I can forgive him."
If the child's idea is not reasonable, parents do not have to rush to deny it. First let the child vent his inner emotions to the fullest, and then analyze the unreasonable places with the child, in order to cultivate their ability to think independently.
I would like to emphasize that in the case of children being bullied, parents cannot take the lead and make decisions for their children. When discussing solutions to problems with your child, don't say, "Mom and Dad will definitely...", but ask "How do you want Mom and Dad to help you?" Because the target of bullying is the child, parents cannot protect the child anytime and anywhere. Children must acquire solutions to problems through a certain degree of participation in learning, and only when the same situation occurs again can they have the confidence and confidence to deal with it.
After understanding what happened and what the child thinks, parents can take action, set several scenarios for the child and give their own suggestions:
First, if it is just a skirmish between classmates, without involving principles and bottom lines, try to take a peaceful approach to resolution, point out the other party's mistakes and ask the other party to apologize: "You are wrong to do this, apologize to me!" ”
Second, if the other party is indifferent to the warning and wants to continue to beat people, you must resist, grab the opponent's hand hard, leave it from your own body, or protect your head and face, and then quickly run to a safe range, away from the beater, if necessary, you can also fight back.
Third, if the other party is emotional, still chasing, and you are unable to resist or dodge, you must tell the teacher in time to seek the protection of adults to avoid further harm.
When the baby is bullied, the senior parents will not teach the baby to say "it's okay", but will first calm the child's emotions, understand and sympathize with the child, and let the child understand that it is not their fault to be bullied, give the child full affirmation and support, and then further inspire the child to solve the problem by himself, teach the child to "not cause trouble, and not afraid of things".
The "unaffordable" baby should be cultivated in this way
Every child is a parent's baby, and when they see their children being bullied, parents are always very heartbroken, both worried that their children will be hurt and afraid of affecting their children's mental health. In fact, if you want to raise a child who is not bullied, you must make him a person who "can't afford to mess with".
1. Cultivate children's brave character
It is necessary to let children have good character and not take the initiative to bully others, but also to teach children to bravely face and resist when they are bullied, and learn to protect themselves. Usually at home, parents can simulate the scene. For example, adults play the role of bad guys to bully children, see how children behave, and take this opportunity to teach children to protect important parts of themselves, or the skills to fight back.
2. Teach children to learn to refuse
Submissive and obedient children seem to be more liked by parents, but they are easy to form a flattering personality, will not refuse, and dare not resist when they are bullied. Parents should respect their children's choices, teach their children to learn to refuse, and protect their rights and interests. For example, when a child is playing with his own toys and other children also want to play, parents should ask the child's opinion, and if the child does not agree, do not force it.
3. Encourage children to make more friends
Cheerful, sociable children are less likely to be bullied. On the contrary, children with withdrawn personalities and taciturn personalities are more likely to be "targeted" by bad children. Parents encourage their children to make more friends, learn to socialize, and improve the communication skills of their peers. Multiple friends are easy to walk, even if they are bullied, children with good popularity are more likely to get help from friends and get out of trouble in time.
Write at the end:
The child is bullied, and the parents' vision and pattern determine the child's future. Low-level parents teach babies to say "it's okay", and high-level parents make babies "can't afford to mess with". I hope that every parent can deal with the problem objectively and calmly when the baby is bullied, and teach the baby to "not cause trouble, nor are you afraid of things".