Parenthood is a practice of heart and wisdom

I've heard a quote like this:

Most of the love in the world is for the purpose of getting together, but there is one kind of love that aims at separation, and that is the love of parents for their children.

When children are young, parents need to use wisdom-filled education to let their children grow up healthily;

When the child grows up, parents need to let go in time to give the child a broader sky.

Parenthood is a practice of heart and wisdom.

01

When the child is young

Parents are role models full of wisdom

Many people say that a child is a blank piece of paper, and what parents draw, the child is like.

Deeply.

Parents are the child's first teacher, and every word and deed will subtly affect the child.

When children are young, parents are examples of wisdom in the eyes of children. And the best education that parents can give their children is to teach by example.

At last year's ITTF Star Awards Ceremony, Liu Shiwen, who won the "Best Female Athlete of the Year", grew up in such an environment.

Liu Shiwen's mother, Wang Lifeng, is also a table tennis enthusiast. Her biggest dream is to become a good table tennis player and stand on the world stage to win glory for the country.

Unfortunately, Wang Lifeng did not have such talent. After some hard work, he finally failed to realize his dream.

And Liu Shiwen's birth brought her new hope. But what is different is that she has never pressed her dreams on her children.

She did not instill in her children the idea that "you must become a table tennis player", nor did she force her children to practice table tennis.

Wanting to play table tennis is Liu Shiwen's own idea. And all this stems from my mother's love for table tennis.

Her persistence sets a good example for the child.

Wang Lifeng still adheres to the hobby and habit of playing table tennis in the case of busy work and trivial housework. The most common scene of Liu Shiwen when she was a child was the appearance of her mother standing in front of the table sweating like rain.

Her mother's love for table tennis left a deep impression on the young Liu Shiwen, and also stimulated her curiosity and desire to imitate.

She began to imitate her mother's movements, and she was excited when she saw the ping-pong ball. As a mother, Wang Lifeng also spares no effort to carefully cultivate her daughter.

Not only did she make a small racket for her, but she also taught her the formal way of playing by hand. No matter how hard the work is, I will accompany my daughter to practice after work.

While educating her children, Wang Lifeng herself enjoyed it. And Liu Shiwen has also been infected by her mother's enthusiasm and perseverance.

In this way, Liu Liwen was already able to play well when she was less than 5 years old. At the age of 7, she had already been favored by famous teachers and was cultivated as a champion seedling.

Now, it has become the first "five champions" of the Women's Table Tennis World Cup. This is an achievement that Zhang Yining, Wang Nan, and Ding Ning have not achieved.

Everything happens as it is said in the Analects: "His body is upright, and he does not act according to orders; his body is not right, although he is ordered not to do so." ”

The best education is to be able to shape the child's character in a subtle way, rather than constantly admonishing the child and interfering in the child's affairs.

Truly wise parents will only seriously do everything well, set a good example for their children, and truly teach by example.

02

When the child grows up

Parents need to learn to quit gracefully

In the early years of children, I believe that many parents understand the principles of words and deeds. But when the child grows up, there are very few parents who can really let go.

The famous host He Jiong once said:

The later the parents let go, the later the child will learn to fly. If the child is pressed too long, it is likely to be abolished.

Too often, the protection that parents think is actually quietly abolishing their children.

I know that a netizen told his experience.

She said her parents had set rules for her since she was a child, such as "you must go home before dark" and "you can't take dangerous taxis". So, growing up, she almost never went out with friends.

Her parents also thought that girls "can't get into fireworks", so until college, she didn't wash a single piece of clothing, a bowl, or even the kitchen.

During the high school holidays, when her classmates traveled and worked part-time to earn extra money, she could only stay at home to study and read.

When she was in college, when her classmates went to volunteer teaching and internships during the holidays, she could only go home and be a well-behaved girl in the arms of her parents.

Parents are reluctant to let go, and children will not grow up.

So that now, her self-care ability, mobility, etc. are far behind her peers.

Because I can't pack my bags and cry all the way; because I can't put on a mobile phone card to shed tears; I can't even take the bus...

Looking back on the experience of these decades, this netizen said bitterly:

"I always thought I was growing up, but I didn't. My chances of growing up were taken away by my parents. ”

In a word, the Word is heartbreaking.

When we do our best to create a fairy tale world for children that is harmless and free of thorns, we are invisibly raising children into wastes that "cannot do anything" in cages.

But we all have to understand that if we can protect it for a while, we can't protect it for a lifetime. Excessive protection is not love, it is cruelty.

Growing up is a matter for children, and there is a separation between parents and children that will eventually drift apart.

Only by giving the child a sense of security, caring for her, supporting her, and encouraging her, can the child have enough confidence to fly freely and not be afraid of hardships.

When children need a wider sky, what parents should do is to give them enough freedom to learn to exit in time and properly.

03

Parenthood

It is a practice of heart and wisdom

Zhao Jie, a talented woman at Peking University, once wrote such a passage:

"I admire a parent who gives a strong intimacy when the child is young and then learns to withdraw gracefully when the child grows up.

Parent-child relationship is not a permanent possession, but a deep fate in life, we can neither make the child feel the barrenness of childhood, nor can the child feel suffocated in adulthood.

Care and separation are both tasks that parents must accomplish with their children. ”

As a parent, the greatest pride is that one day when your children grow up, you can see the education you give him, so that he can live as a person with good qualities. Whether you are here or not, he can live calmly, be an upright person, and pass on good character from generation to generation.

Do not seek the perfection of children, do not have to fight for the face of their parents, and do not have to help their parents to retire. As long as this life exists healthily, walk through this beautiful world and give parents the opportunity to walk with him for a while.

As long as he is healthy and happy, it is the greatest satisfaction of parents.

Parents' letting go is not pushing their children farther and farther away. On the contrary, people are far away, but the hearts of the family are getting closer.

Parenthood is a practice of mind and wisdom.

Not only parents, but also many moments in life, should know how to move forward and backward.