Let the child take a nap| I love to write essays

Min Xiaobian said

Parents often inadvertently give and take in the name of "love", and this kind of stressful love sometimes makes it difficult for children to breathe. There is a fallow period in the mountains and forests, and a fishing period in the lakes and seas. Relaxation is a kind of wisdom, and a short break can accumulate greater strength, and the same is true for the growth of children. Give the children time to rest and let them take a nap as they wish

The teacher brought a second-grade child to me, and the child refused to do his homework and refused to do it. Asked him, refused to answer, his face was very calm, and his eyes were not alarmed. Teachers reflect that there are now more and more such children. Are kids stupid? Kids are not stupid. Why?

Facing this little friend, I suddenly felt like a fisherman, holding a small boat, fishing in familiar waters, but I couldn't catch any fish.

I seemed to hear the ridicule of the sea: I don't have any fish.

In the same way, I seemed to hear a voice in the child's heart: I will not give anything, including an expression.

Why has the once vibrant sea become a quiet world where fish and shrimp do not grow? We all know that we have taken too much from this sea, the ability of the sea is limited, and in the face of people's demands, this sea may also be very hard to show his exuberant ability, but finally one day, he gave up. Therefore, face the people who ask for it with a blank space where the fish and shrimp are not born.

Faced with this result, people set up a fishing moratorium in this way to compromise the sea, pay tribute to the sea, or repent.

What about our child? He must have been and must have been full of vitality in life, and he must have done everything in his power to bring his abilities to the adults he faced. But these adults are asking him for everything without dead ends. Finally, one day, he got tired of the satisfaction of adult demands and faced it with a blank slate.

For this reason, people coined a word called "lying flat.".

If it is a second-grader lying flat, we will suspect that he is "lying flat" again.

In fact, the child does not know the meaning of "lying flat", he faces adults in a blank way, it is an instinct, a choice of self-protection, just like our ears, the voice is sharp to a certain extent, he is deaf.

Parents and teachers may disagree: When did we become asking for it from our children? We are all giving to our children!

Yes, we all selflessly give our children everything we can, but after giving, we can't wait to ask him:

We used to hug him for a while and we thought he was smiling at us.

We used to take him to play in the water and thought he could swim.

We once sent him to a piano lesson for a year and wanted him to play a song.

We gave him a lesson and we thought he could write or solve problems.

……

Behind each of our givings, there is actually a request, a request, either explicitly or implicitly or later or quickly.

We call our giving "love."

We also call our taking "love."

We rarely reflect on whether what we give and what we take is in line with the needs and abilities of our children.

When the gap between the ability to give and take is long-lasting, when our giving and taking is all-round and dead-ended, so strong that the child does not even have time to catch his breath, one day, he will close the "door" that pleases adults.

Some children close the door in the second grade. Different children are doing things that close the door to different degrees at different times, and he will never tell the adults.

When the mountains must be sealed, the sea must be forbidden.

So, give your child a time to take a nap.

Do not have custody at the end of school, end of care for interest classes, and arrange the child's full time without leaving a dead end.

Don't be able to write and be able to count, read a book club to be able to run, run fast to be able to play... Always know all the things that will not be, and will be better than the people on the side; the people on the side are better than the people in the distance; the people in the distance are better than the people on the TV... Finally, one day, these endless demands were exchanged for a "circuit breaker" of the child's growth.

Giving a child a nap is to leave a time and space for him to live, and a space for his ability to heal himself.

Giving a child a nap is to give him a sense of security of snoozing, and will not be reprimanded for snoozing.

Give the child a nap, when he needs it.

Or, give him a time to forget him and he'll be able to take a nap as he wishes.

(The author is the principal of the primary school affiliated to Jinhua Normal School in Zhejiang)

The author of the article | Yu Zhengqiang

WeChat editor | Zhang Luyao

Editor-in-charge| Tan Xi