Author | Qian Zhiliang
Source | Qian Zhiliang Studio (ID: qzlgzs)
01
Every time they talk about the topic of writing homework with their children, parents can't help but spit bitterly, and they all say how difficult it is to "fight wits and courage" with their children.
Anger to heart attack, a punch to the table to cause a broken hand, in the middle of the night with the child to write homework roared the whole community is listening to the lessons... All kinds of news events that make people cry and laugh are "staged" in turn.
In fact, not only do parents feel tired, but children who bear the "guidance" of their parents' stormy "guidance" also have a lot of psychological pressure.
That day I saw a video of a street interview with elementary school students, and the words of one of the little girls were heart-wrenching:
"In fact, I also want to understand those questions quickly, I hope that my parents can be more patient and don't yell at me."
The little girl couldn't help but cry when she finished.
It is a good thing to accompany children to write homework - parents guide their children to develop good learning habits and promote communication between parents and children. It should not evolve into a situation where parents and children are miserable or even destroy the parent-child relationship.
One of the main reasons is that many parents do not have the right way to accompany their children to write homework.
02
Chatting with a friend the other day, he said with a sense of accomplishment that his daughter had made significant progress recently.
Asked why, I learned that it was the result of his 3 months of accompanying him to write homework.
His daughter transferred to a new school in the second grade, and the adaptation process of the new environment made the daughter, who had always maintained her grades in the original school of 95 or above, suddenly drop to the level of 80.
He looked anxious and felt that he could not go on like this anymore, so he went home early every day after work to accompany his daughter to write homework.
"You don't know how tired you were in those 3 months, and I don't want to go through it again." He smiled bitterly.
His daughter came home from school before, every time she played around, ate something and watched TV, just didn't touch the homework, and sometimes rubbed until 9 or 10 o'clock.
The process of doing it is disorganized, one will write this and one will write that, so the efficiency is also very low; the handwriting on the homework book is also a mess, and the volume is not neat.
"Accompanying homework is a habit of accompanying, and if the child's habit is formed well, you don't have to worry about it later."
He set the rules for the children:
Once you go home, do all the preparations, go to the toilet, drink water and drink water, after all done, sit down and start writing homework, don't hang around casually anymore;
Arrange the order before writing, write what to write first, be organized, and write fast...
After 3 months of his companionship and supervision, her daughter scored 96 and 97 in the recent midterm exam, the progress was very great, the father and daughter were very happy, the daughter's learning momentum was more sufficient, and the "cooperative combat" of several months also deepened the feelings between father and daughter.
He said with great satisfaction:
"Now his daughter's study is no longer in his hands, the most he can do is to check it after writing his homework."
This friend of mine is a positive example of a parent who has mastered the correct way to accompany homework, and can also "accompany" the child's good habits and good grades without "chicken flying dog jumping, ghost crying wolf howling".
03
In the lower grades of primary school, at an age when children have not yet formed self-discipline, it is actually necessary for parents to accompany them to write homework.
To sum up, we should grasp the following aspects:
▌ Not supervising children's homework like an overseer
Some parents accompany their children to write homework, like a supervisor staring at the child, watching him do it one by one, question by question, and when they find out what is wrong, they immediately point it out, and then they can't help but criticize the child.
In this way, only a sense of tension and oppression is brought to the child, and the child is afraid of making mistakes and does not dare to write; pointing at any moment will also distract the child's attention and disturb the child's thinking.
Not only does it not play a good role, but it will destroy the child's interest in learning, so that the child is bored and resistant to writing homework.
Writing homework, the child is the protagonist, the parent is only a supporting role from the side, and cultivating the good habit of children to complete the homework independently is the key.
Therefore, parents should not interfere too much in this process, and then do checks or guidance after all is over to ensure that the child is independent and engaged in the process.
What can parents do on the sidelines? Reading, practicing, doing handicrafts, quietly doing your work... The way you focus and be serious will also have a positive impact on your child.
▌ Set rules and plan your time
Helping children develop good learning habits and making clear rules is an effective way to save parents a lot of nagging, urging, and reminding, and children are more conscious.
Like what:
Before writing homework, sort out what homework you have in total, do what you do first and then write down in the notebook, and complete it in order;
When writing homework, you can't just leave your seat, you can't play with mobile phones and toys;
Write carefully, keep the volume clean, and try to control less or no eraser;
After writing the homework, carefully check and correct it, and then you can preview tomorrow's learning content.
In order to improve the efficiency of children's homework, reduce friction and procrastination, it is also important to guide children to do a good job of time planning.
Ask your child to put an alarm clock at their desk, estimate the completion time of each homework in advance, and complete it within the specified time.
Parents grasp these general directions, guide children to complete in accordance with the rules set, give appropriate encouragement, enhance children's confidence, in the practice of day after day, children will gradually develop good habits, concentration, persistence will also be greatly improved.
▌ Parents' attitude and tone of speech are very important
Parents always need to be clear, the initiative of writing homework and learning lies in the child, and parents must not overstep their bounds and do too much, and take the responsibility that belongs to the child on their own heads.
For example, the homework is not completed than the child is more anxious, over and over again, or it is anxious to get on the fire and scold the child; when you see the child's mistakes, you are angry, anxious, and full of sadness; you have too much control over the child, and only arrange the child's homework according to your own ideas...
These behaviors of parents actually carry a negative energy and do not trust their children.
Slowly, children become more and more bored and passive about writing homework and learning, and they will become more and more dependent on their parents and unwilling to use their own brains to think.
Therefore, the attitude of parents is very critical, and the initiative of writing homework and learning is left to the children themselves;
Checking the child's homework is not simply correcting the right and wrong, but allowing the parents to better understand the child, so that the child can be targeted to help the child work the weakness.
Parents recognize this, the mentality is flat, the mood is naturally stable, and they will not lose their temper without moving.
When communicating with children, parents also try not to carry emotions and objectively describe children's problems, such as the roll is not very neat, the writing needs to be serious, do not label the child as "stupid" and "pig brain" can be negative; where the child does well and has progress, he should also give encouragement and give the child confidence.
When a child feels good about writing homework and learning, he may enthusiastically and actively participate in it, so as to continue to improve.
END
This article | edited