preface
Today, when the two-child policy is gradually opened, many parents have also chosen to have another child. Some parents are born to like two children, in the early years because of policy reasons can not be as desired, now the policy is relaxed, we must seize the time to have the next baby, whether it is a boy or a girl, with two children of the family, there are more laughter.
But there are also some parents, even if the second child is open today, did not choose the second child, there are many such examples around the editor, some of them are because their work and life are too busy, and the only child has long grown up to go to school, family life is gradually back on track, there is no more time and energy to take care of a newborn baby.
There are also some parents who simply think that one child is enough, they want to pour all their love into this one child, and they are not willing to have another child to share this love from their parents with the boss.
Everyone chooses or doesn't have different reasons, but what we can do is to respect this opinion enough, in the final analysis, having children or not is a matter for two people, even the elders of the family, should not be too much mixed.
Between husband and wife, the most important thing is to listen to the opinion of the wife, after all, as a mother, a woman has the most say in the matter of having a child. And having a second child is also a big thing for a family, the husband and wife should be careful enough to consider before making a decision, can not be because one party especially wants, they can urge or even force the other party to agree that they also want this child, which is very unfair to both people.
Emotional cases
My husband and I have been married for 8 years, and my son is about to enter the first grade of elementary school. At that time, we were young, both people did not have any savings, and they relied on themselves little by little to have a small house with 3 bedrooms and 1 hall, and a scooter of more than 100,000.
Maybe it's nothing to a lot of people, but for us, it's enough to have everything we have today, and it's enough to be lucky enough, and I'm very happy with my life now and don't ask for anything else.
But in the past two years, the two-child policy has gradually opened up, and I have found that my husband's mind has also become a little lively. He actually always wanted a daughter, which I always knew, and even now that his son is so old, when he walks to the street and sees someone else's little girl, he still can't help but look at it twice. In the past, the state stipulated that he could only have one baby, and he couldn't do it, but now it's different, and he has more ideas.
Sure enough, one day last month, my husband told me that he wanted to have another child, and this time it was best to be a daughter. I said do you want a daughter or a second child? If it's the former, what if you were born as a son? He said that his son would take care of him, but I refused him again.
In fact, I have also considered this problem for many days, the reason why I decided not to have a second child, the first is because I am older, this year is 36 years old, from pregnancy to pregnancy will have to go through a period of time, and when I go to bed, it is a fully elderly mother, which is also more dangerous for me
And from a selfish point of view, my husband and I have worked hard for so many years, and now that life has finally settled down, my son has also gone to school, I really don't want to experience the hardships of being a mother from the beginning, when I think of changing diapers for my child in the month, in order to take care of him, it is likely to delay my current work, I am very reluctant. I told my husband what I thought, but he was very excited to accuse me of being too selfish. He said that the mother under the heavens did not come this way, he said that several female colleagues in his company had recently become pregnant again, why can't I be like everyone else.
When I say that I have a child, can I follow what others do? I don't want it myself, why are you forcing me? We broke up that last night, but afterwards I was deeply reflective, wondering if I was really a little too selfish to make such a decision.
Joan Di emotionally suggested
After reading your experience, Joan Di firmly respects your decision, or no matter what kind of decision you make, whether the child wants it or not, it deserves the respect of others.
We often say how hard it is to conceive in October, and only as a mother can understand it, others can't imagine it. Similarly, the pain of having a child and the hardship of taking care of a child are all borne by ourselves, so whether to have a child or not, in the end, it is still up to the woman to make her own decisions.
And your consideration is also very reasonable, not considered selfish, and then say that people live in this world, what is the problem of being selfish? We must first make ourselves better and happier before we can think about other things, even if we have children, no matter how close we are with our children, in the end, when they grow up, they will still leave us, and they will not be able to accompany them for a lifetime.
Therefore, no matter what kind of decision you make, you must consider in advance what kind of impact this decision will have on yourself. If you are not very willing to have a second child at all, then even if you go against your own wishes and give birth to this child in order to make your husband happy, in the end, your heart is still unwilling, and when you take care of him, it is inevitable that there will be a lot of negative emotions, which is the greatest unfairness to the child.