When people are old, they go to their daughter's house for a few days, and then they go to their son's house for a few days.
Idle, invite three or five friends to get together, and go to see the scenery with your wife.
Many people think that from the day of retirement, they can enjoy happiness.
No matter how old you are, remember: the sky does not cross people, people need to cross themselves.
Sixty years old or seventy years old, it is not the end, the suffering of the elderly only begins, not ends.
In the wind and rain, learn to hold your own umbrella. It is safest to take your fate into your own hands.
01
Relying on yourself is the norm in life.
I have seen a philosophical story: there was a pilgrim, on the way to pray for blessings, encountered heavy rain. He hid in a gazebo by the side of the road, shivering with cold.
There was a Zen master who was holding an oil-paper umbrella down the hill.
The pilgrim said, "Zen master, give me a ride." ”
The Zen master said, "You are in the rain, and I am also in the rain, why should I send it?" ”
The pilgrim was angry.
Zen master said, "Everyone has their own difficulties, and ruthlessness is sentient." ”
Admittedly, no matter how old you are, being sick, lonely, and doing nothing is your difficulty, but you can only cross yourself.
You're old, your children happen to be middle-aged, and your mind is full of "children crying and laughing", and every other time it is a mortgage and car loan. You rely on them, but you add a burden, a joy, in a way, the pain of your children.
There is this saying: "Human feelings are like cards, play one card less." ”
Once an old friend, now a neighbor, you trouble others once, you are embarrassed to trouble others twice. They owe you a feeling, and when you ask them once, you will clear it both.
In fact, everyone has a different path to go. If you go east, others will go west, and no one needs to accommodate anyone. There are some people who really accompany you on the same road, but there are very few people who accompany you from the beginning to the end.
On your own, this is the fate of life, you don't have to be afraid.
02
On your own, old age is more decent.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", Song Jia's father, a person who raised his daughter with hard work, helped her to start a family.
When his daughter had the ability to filial piety to him, he insisted on going to a nursing home and not causing trouble for her daughter.
Perhaps, many elderly people, when it comes to nursing homes, are particularly uncomfortable, and their bones are resistant.
I have children, it costs a lot of money to train them, and I bought a house for them, so why should I go to a nursing home? Doesn't this make it clear that "investment failed"?
There are also some elderly people who think that living in a nursing home is to embarrass their children and cannot be wiped on their faces.
Yu Qiuyu said: "The road of life, relying on yourself step by step to go, what can really protect you is your own life choice." ”
What is freedom? It is "but do good deeds, don't ask about the future". Just be yourself, don't pursue results, don't covet rewards.
You expect to get too much and are doomed to disappointment.
When the old man's heart is not constrained by traditional things, and is not afraid to touch the contemptuous eyes, he is truly free. Birth, old age, illness and death are all necessary processes in life, rather than avoiding, it is better to bravely greet, this is the backbone of the elderly.
In ancient times, when Zhuangzi was about to die, he told his disciples: "With heaven and earth as the coffin, the sun and the moon as the continuous wall, the stars as the pearls, and all things as gifts, why should I add this?" ”
Life is between heaven and earth, living in the time when the sun and the moon alternate, and after death, it is the same. In this way, there is no difference between life and death.
Let nature take its course, fight for its inevitability, abandon it indifferently, and a good mentality is an invisible umbrella that makes people happy all the time.
03
Relying on oneself, not dragging down the children, is the last love of parents.
Why do many parents, knowing that their children have big houses in the city, still insist on living in the countryside?
It is not that they do not know how to enjoy happiness, but that they do not want to be a burden, and they want to use the last strength in their lives to cross the journey of their children.
When the children were young, their parents said to them, "When you grow up and get into a good university, I will be blessed." ”
In fact, no matter how old the children are, parents will not be blessed. Do your best to help your children buy houses in the city, bring grandchildren, raise dowry money, pay attention to the changes in their children's careers and families... Love is endless.
Of course, there are also some parents who prefer a certain child, which leads to resentment in their children. But from the original intention of the parents, there is nothing wrong with it, there are so many things that parents can give to their children, and they cannot be considered everywhere.
Many elderly people, when they receive calls from their children, never cry bitterly, and always say "good, good, everything is fine." A few comforting words to reassure your children. This is the love of "wax torch into gray tears and drying".
Whose old age is not bloody? It is useless to cry bitterness, it is only useful to say "good". As long as you can still move around, you must not have the idea of dependence.
04
On your own, learn to enjoy solitude and heal yourself.
There is a term called "self-healing power", which refers to the ability of organisms to rely on their own inner life force to repair limb defects and get rid of diseases and sub-health conditions, which rely on genetic acquisition to maintain life and health.
Wounds on the outside of the human body can slowly heal themselves, leaving shallow scars. Whether the wounds in the heart heal themselves or not is unknown, and even the scars cannot be found.
The writer Mader said: "Staying in silence until the eight winds do not move, quiet will feed the soul of the firm." From the point of view of appearance, people in silence appear calmer and idyllic than people in noise, and this is the power generated by the calmness of the soul. ”
As an old man, to heal your own soul, this is your own business, others can not do anything.
The soul is noble, the spirit is full, the mentality is natural, and the life is peaceful, so living in this way is the real blessing.
Loneliness or pain, as long as you are strong, then you can definitely carry it up and survive it.
It really doesn't have to be, because relying on others has lost the willpower it deserves.
A decent life is given by yourself, and if it is given by others, it will not satisfy you.
Wind and rain life, reliable people, only a strong self, learn to give themselves an umbrella, in order not to be afraid of wind and rain.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.