Text/Blue Dream
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Sometimes, it is difficult for us to control our feelings, such as two married people are in love with each other, what to do to have a good ending?
There was an article on the Internet called "Six Endings of Extramarital Affairs", in fact, when reading the title, most readers had already guessed that the ending would not be too good at all.
As we expected, all those who are involved in extramarital affairs, none of the endings are good, the worst is that the wives and children are separated and the family is broken, and the slightly better is that the two return after their passions, and they will not interact with each other in the future.
After all, this kind of feeling is unsightly, and it is even more unblessed.
Now that you know that this is a wrong feeling, you should restrain your emotion in the first place. There is only one correct choice for dealing with this kind of feeling, that is, "to be affectionate and to stop at courtesy." ”
01
It's hard for us to control our feelings, but we can control our behavior.
Someone once said that compared to those vigorous loves, love that knows how to control is more moving. And in the history of love, there is one person who has done this, and he is Jin Yuelin.
Jin Yuelin was deeply in love with Lin Huiyin, but Lin Huiyin only had Liang Sicheng in his heart, and at that time, Jin Yuelin knew that he was in love with a married woman, so he restrained himself with reason and resolutely could not do anything contrary to human morality, so he hid his love.
But he did not break off contact with Lin Huiyin and his wife in order to hide himself, but he also became a very good friend with them, and in times of crisis, he could always help each other.
It has been said that selfish love is to receive and possess, while selfless love is to give and fulfill.
When it is clear that a relationship will not have a good outcome, it is wise to transform narrow love into selfless love, sublimation into another emotion above love, friendship.
A person who understands the great righteousness will certainly be respected by others, because he knows how to be patient and restrained.
So, when we can't control our emotions, please tell yourself rationally and use reason to control your behavior.
02
When it is difficult for people to control their emotions, they must learn to think in empathy.
Indeed, emotions are currently present, and few people can face it rationally, so someone will do something wrong recklessly.
However, when a person understands empathy, he will not act rashly, just imagine, the person you fall in love with already has a family, if you have overbearing behavior, what will be the consequences for the other party? If you can see at a glance that the ending is not good, then the restless mind will definitely converge a lot.
Henry Ford, the founder of Ford Motor Co., once said, "If there is a secret to success, it is to understand his ideas from the perspective of others." If marriage and emotion have a secret of success, it must be that the parties can stand in the position of others.
I once saw an article written by a netizen that he was a middle-aged man in his late forties, with a successful career and a harmonious family, but this did not stop his admiration for young women.
The moment the new female intern from the unit walked into his field of vision, he knew he could no longer control his emotions. So he wanted to create an opportunity to contact the female intern, and fantasized that there was still a possibility of progress.
But when the company sent him on a business trip with the intern, he decisively found an excuse to refuse, because he did not dare to guarantee that he would not do anything wrong in the process of being alone with the woman he liked, and when he thought about the consequences, he knew that he could not afford it, and he did not want to ruin a young man because of it.
Some people say that the greatest self-discipline of adults is tolerance and restraint. This is true, because the wrong feelings are gained means that they are going to be lost, and they will definitely pay for it.
The real ability to win the feeling of being respected must be for the sake of the other party, not selfish possession.
03
If a person can curb a relationship that should not happen in time, then he must be a responsible and responsible person.
Yi Zhongtian once said: "A person, without a bottom line, can do anything." In a society, without a bottom line, anything will happen. ”
No matter what they do, even in the face of uncontrollable emotions, people cannot break through their principles and bottom lines.
Why does such a thing happen as an extramarital affair? Probably because people often don't know how to know enough in their feelings, they naturally don't cherish the people in front of them.
Someone once said: "Why is it always very happy at first sight, because when we first meet, two people are hypocritical and enthusiastic, fresh and romantic." "Yes, the reason why people like the new and hate the old is because the new people have this enthusiasm and romance, but you must know that this enthusiasm and romance are just disguised, and over time, all the strong feelings, or the beauty of the fantasy, will be flat.
There is also a sentence that is very heartfelt, what you think of as a new love is actually someone else's old love. The so-called feelings are just a momentary fever, and when people calm down, most of them will regret their original confused choices.
Therefore, instead of regretting it afterwards, it is better to nip the mistake in the bud in time.
Those who have a family mission, responsibility and responsibility, in the face of this feeling, even after a fierce internal struggle, will eventually control themselves rationally.
04
There is a saying that goes like this: "Every man is the designer and caster of his own destiny." ”
Having seen too many tragic and happy families, and seen too many stories of regret, the only sigh is that people's fate is really completely determined by themselves.
Therefore, every time you do something, think twice, and the momentary impulse is likely to bring irreparable consequences.
Perhaps, in the face of temptation, it is difficult for people to calm down, but we must learn to introspect ourselves in other people's stories. Think of those wrong behaviors as a mirror through which you can examine yourself and then warn yourself that if you indulge, the consequences will only be worse than this.
Life is not perfect, feelings are very illusory things, we always yearn for those illusory beauty, and ignore the happiness in front of us. As everyone knows, the best, the most suitable for yourself, is what you have at the moment, and what you covet is only the desire to confuse the human eye.
When feelings come, maybe you really can't think rationally and can't control your feelings, but you must restrain your behavior, "be affectionate, stop being polite." "It is the greatest responsibility for people and themselves."
END.