Source: Parenting
No matter what kind of grind life gives you, in front of your children, please control your temper. The more calm you are, the more beautiful your children are, the happier your family is, and the smoother your life will be.
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Be angry with your child and destroy your child's spirituality
Parents should be careful not to lose their temper with their children and get angry. Don't use the temper to manage the child, as soon as you use the temper to manage the child, your anger and fire will run to the child's head, damage the child's spirit, add a tight hoop spell to the child's head, and add a tight hoop spell to the child's head.
Over time, more and more tightening spells, the virtual tightening spell has become a real headache for children, and parents will have lower limbs, legs and feet when they are older, which will harm both children and themselves.
The child's sexual spirit is firmly imprisoned and damaged, wisdom comes from nowhere, the more he wants to learn well, his learning will become worse and worse, and the expectations of parents will be more and more contrary to the expectations of parents.
This is all the result of managing the child with a temper. A gentleman asks for his own self, to correct himself, to change his character, and you will change if you become a child.
"Children and grandchildren don't care, all rely on morality and sexiness" This is a profound truth, to change our temper and temperament of anger and anger.
For children, we should adopt a "spontaneous" education method, the rate is the commander,The child's sexuality should be guided to the good side, and the child's advantages should often be found to affirm the child's shining place, and encourage the child more.
At the same time as praising, persuasion guides children to correct bad habits and hobbies, and helps children open the treasure of sexual spirits.
Annoyance temper is a negative virus that harms others and harms oneself. Especially between relatives, they cherish each other very much, care about each other, and have a heavy heart.
The more annoying the temper, the more harmful it is to the other party. The probability of relatives living together and being hurt by each other's troubles and tempers is very high, and the disease is slowly accumulated, from virtual to real, from light to heavy.
Resentment hurts the spleen; hates the heart; annoys the lungs; anger hurts the liver; annoys the kidneys. Everyone should be vigilant and not underestimate the daily small troubles and tempers. The of a thousand miles collapsed in the ant nest. Most of the reasons why people are generally in a sub-healthy state in middle age are mainly due to disturbing unhealthy temperaments.
And if the parents are rude, the children will also lose their temper with their parents, and then the children will have no blessings because they resist the confrontation with their parents.
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Throwing a tantrum at a child can make the child lose his spirituality
If the child likes to condemn others, it is because we usually criticize him too much; if the child likes to complain about everything, it is because we always criticize him; if the child likes confrontation, it is because we are hostile and coercive to him.
If the child is not kind enough, it is because we are a person who lacks compassion; if the child is timid and shy, it is because he is often ridiculed and insulted; if the child does not speak to us in his heart, it is because we catch the child and turn over the old account.
If the child does not distinguish between right and wrong, it is because we are authoritarian and do not give the child the opportunity to think independently; if the child is inferior, it is because we are always disappointed in the child and cannot be patiently encouraged; if the child is jealous, sensitive, and afraid of injury, it is because our family does not have tolerance and warmth.
If the child does not like himself, it is because we lack acceptance, recognition and respect for him; if the child is not motivated and does not work hard, it is because we are too demanding of him and he cannot do it; if the child is selfish, it is because we are too doting on him, what do we want to give.
If the child does not understand the pain of the parents, it is because we have not taught him to understand others; if the child withdraws and avoids, it is because he has been slighted and hit by us; if the child is lazy and dependent, it is because we have done too many things and made decisions for the child.
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Occasional tantrums, coping with a good trick
Sometimes children are too naughty, they really can't help but make people angry, and the fire is always held back is not the way. So you can't get angry, you can't get angry, and your heart is very entangled!
However, parents are human beings, not gods, so there will be moods and sorrows, so that we will never be angry, always gentle and firm, always calm and not out of shape? Isn't it too wronged to be a parent?!
In fact, parenting methods are always for our self-improvement as a reference, not an absolute rule. To put it bluntly, parents have the right to be angry. As one teacher put it, "Anger and happiness are equally important to a person." ”
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If you can't help but get angry with your child, do it
First, accept the fact of being angry, don't have to feel guilty, and let your child know what your emotional reaction to him at this moment is.
Second, objectively express your feelings about your child's concerns. For example:
I'm angry because I'm worried about you.
Instead of saying:
How come you kid is always such a headache!
Don't go through old accounts, label your child, or make accusations without a cover.
Finally, we can directly tell the child what our expectations are and how the child will do it better. This can clearly point out to the child a way to avoid "running into trouble" or to solve the problem.
If you don't do the above 3 steps when you are angry, please communicate emotionally with your child in the moment when you realize that something is wrong and feel guilty (preferably on the same day), including telling your child why you are angry (you love him, just don't like his wrong behavior).
Say sorry for your emotional loss of control (just say sorry for the emotional loss of control, you can't make up for the child, and give up the principles you insisted on before, otherwise it will collapse), and finally discuss with the child again the things that make you angry, including your expectations of the child, and make a rule about something, make an agreement, etc.
It is not shameful to say sorry to the child, it is a good medicine to heal the child's inner wounds. Of course, after saying sorry, when the child's mood is stable, remember to calmly and objectively analyze the problem with the child, so that he knows what to do next time.
The number of times you get angry with your child should not be too frequent, endless. Please at least scold your child when he makes a more serious mistake, instead of nagging and showing impatience with your child forever.
Being able to control emotions is a sign of human maturity and a subject of lifelong learning.
In the process of helping their children control their emotions, parents have also grown up, what a great opportunity! So, don't feel guilty, grow!
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