The relationship between people should have a "sense of proportion".
This is true both in social and love.
What is a sense of proportion?
Do something, do something, don't do it; don't be too possessive, you won't always be silent; don't impose ideas on the other person, and don't want the other person to force himself.
Comfort, distance, and enough respect for each other are the best social states.
In social relationships, we occasionally encounter experiences like this:
Send a message to the other party, but there is no response.
At this time, what should we do?
-01
What does it mean that the person who doesn't reply to your message means?
How did adult friendships end step by step?
Probably: a person full of enthusiasm, full of expectations, encountered interesting things to share with each other at the first time.
His enthusiasm, however, was exchanged for the "indifference and perfunctory" of the other party, just like a hot fire being instantly extinguished by a basin of cold water that came on him.
What do those who don't reply to you mean?
First: Social pressure and receiving too much information
In such a developed environment of network information, people need to receive a lot of information every day.
Not only from the information in the social network, but also from a variety of rich consultations.
If for a person who needs to deal with a lot of people every day in a work form, he has spoken a lot to customers, and in his private social state, he is very reluctant to chat with friends.
It's not that you don't want to talk, it's that you have more than enough and you don't have enough.
It's not that they can't see your message, but they see it and "don't bother to come back."
The "laziness" here is the lack of strength and the loss of energy to return information.
When they have the opportunity to rest, they just want to lie down, even if they are aimlessly brushing their phones, and they don't want to chat with friends.
This is the consequence of high-intensity social pressure.
Second: it's not that you don't reply to the message, but that you don't want to reply to your message
The way adults end their friendships is simple, such as: once silent, once indifferent, once actively estranged.
When you message the other person, he has already seen it, but is not willing to reply to you.
Not only that, not long after you sent a message, he also sent a circle of friends dynamic.
You stay in front of the screen for a long time, staring at the chat dialog between the two of you, never getting any response.
1 day, 2 days or 1 month, the other person is like disappearing from your friends list.
At this time, you should understand the other party's intentions:
He doesn't want any more contact with you, and your friendship ends here.
Third: The topic you throw out makes the other party unable to respond
What kind of topics are others unwilling to reply to?
For example:
"Are you here?"
"Can you lend me some money?"
"What are you doing? Are you available? ”
Similar topics will bring some pressure to people.
You ask the other person over and over again "are you there" without directly saying that you have something, and most people are reluctant to reply to you.
Because the other person doesn't know what you're going to say next.
If he responds to you, it is equivalent to being in a passive state.
Therefore, many people in the chat process, when they encounter a topic that they can't start and can't respond to, they often end the conversation with silence.
-02
If you don't reply to your message more than 3 times, forget it
One of the unspoken rules of adult social interaction is: don't force, don't bother.
If the other person intends to end the friendship with you, they will not tell you: "Don't look for me, don't send me a message, our friendship is over".
He will hint at you through silence, perfunctory, indifference, etc.
Like what:
Every time you message him, he basically doesn't respond to you.
1 time do not reply to the message, maybe he is busy at work;
2 times do not reply to your message, maybe he did not look at the phone;
What does it mean not to reply to your message 3 times? Do you want to continue to make excuses for him?
In an age when mobile phones are as important as eating, do you really believe that someone doesn't have time to look at their phones all day?
This state is like we put in a resume and look for a job.
When you submit a resume to a company and there is no response for a certain period of time, then you should understand the meaning behind it.
The reason why you did not reply is that you do not meet the requirements of the other party.
Isn't getting along with friends like casting a resume and looking for a job?
Social relationships are never one-way choices, but two-way choices.
You think of each other as friends, but they don't necessarily see you as friends.
Just like the passage that Sanmao wrote:
"I believe that the people who really care about me will not be taken away by others, whether it is friendship or love."
Isn't that the social relationship of adults?
People who care about you won't leave you; people who don't care about you have long since gone into hiding.
Today's Topic:
If a person doesn't message you back more than 3 times, will you give up on that friendship?
(Article with picture source network)