Introduction: In the eyes of parents, the most headache is when the child is unreasonable, especially when the child is outside, the emotions come up directly on the spot to cry, how to persuade can not work, sometimes parents are annoyed and really want to beat the child on the street. However, reason tells us that it is not right to punish children hastily.
When we lose our temper with children and reason with them is ineffective, how can we quickly change this stalemate state, how can we make children realize their mistakes, and should we punish our children severely?
In fact, Xiaobian is not very recommended to reason with children when they are emotional, or even scold and punish children, because many of the ways of education we do at these times will actually be counterproductive to children. As parents, we need to be aware of two key issues in the process of education:
The first point: when children lose their temper, it is more important than the needs of their emotions to be seen.
Many parents are only attached to the child's unreasonable requirements, excessive practices, but often ignore the child's emotions behind these behaviors, the child's emotions are not taken care of, the negative emotions will develop more and more serious. So, when a child loses his temper, the purpose of the center is to let the parents know that their emotions are not good, and their emotional state needs to be seen.
"Are you angry now?" "Are you unhappy now?" "Don't you feel sad?" "Parents need to discover the emotional state behind their children's tantrums. If you want to clearly understand the child's emotions, you need parents to be able to empathize with the child, whether you can perceive the child's emotions and give affirmation to their emotions, which is also the key to whether education and preaching can smoothly progress to the child.
The second point: point out the root cause of the child's emotions and give a solution.
Blindly reasoning with children, "you should not do this, but how should you do it", "Parents and parents are also helpless, you have to accept reality", "you grow up, you must obey the obedience can not be so foolish", etc., let the child to understand things, to make the right choice, will only make the child's emotions more and more collapsed, your education of the child will become more and more ineffective.
Ask the child what is causing the tantrum, whether the parents are acting wrongly, or whether they can't give what they want, or whether we have misunderstood the child. These reasons are that parents do not really understand the fundamentals of their children, solve problems on a case-by-case basis, and discuss ways to deal with problems with their children to ease their emotions, rather than blindly asking children to suppress themselves.
In the face of punishing children, many parents will also have some entanglements, punishment is serious and afraid of hurting children, but if the punishment is light, it is easy not to pay attention to the child, improper. So how exactly should we grasp the severity of the severity? What kind of education is correct and can children learn something?
First of all, punishment needs to seek truth from facts, and the child should use what kind of things and nature to punish the child if he does something wrong. For example, if you hit someone else, you must let the child apologize to others, for example, if the child breaks something, you must let the child make corresponding compensation, rather than using scolding to solve the problem, and the punishment needs to be dealt with on the current matter.
Second, the punishment is to make the child understand, not just hurt. The same is the above example, the correct way of punishment can make the child understand that hurting others is the need to apologize, breaking things is the need for compensation, if blindly use scolding to punish the child, they will not have such a consciousness, but also can not let the child learn to be responsible for their own behavior, and learn not to correctly judge right and wrong.
Important note: When the child loses his temper, parents need to be able to see the child's imminent collapse or has collapsed, understand the root cause of the child's tantrum, to soothe and ease the child's emotions, and then to solve the problem. In the process of educating children, the severity of punishment needs to be done on the spot, and the result of education is to let children learn lessons.
Today's topic: Do your children usually lose their temper? What was the cause of the last tantrum? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.