Only low-level parents educate their children by beating and cursing! Smart parents only use 7 sentences!

Children make mistakes, which is a normal thing in the process of growing up!

But many parents are difficult to deal with: scolding for fear of hurting children, reasonable children do not understand, what to do?

In fact, parents have such confusion, often because they are too eager to let their children correct their mistakes, and ignore the education itself, hoping that children will recognize their mistakes and will not make them again next time.

When a child makes a mistake, the most important thing is not to punish, but to let the child realize the mistake himself, and education can be effective. Let the child recognize the mistake and take the initiative to correct it, parents only need to say these 7 sentences!

Parents who know how to educate must "listen" to their children.

01

What happened?

This is a point that many parents will overlook.

Giving your child a chance to speak determines whether your child trusts you or not, and it is related to whether things can be resolved smoothly.

When encountering situations (for example, children have conflicts with classmates and are criticized by teachers) Many parents are accustomed to drawing their own conclusions: it must be that you started first, and others beat you; it must be that you did wrong, and the teacher criticized you...

It seems very reasonable, in fact, when parents say these words, they have tacitly assumed that the child is at fault first. The more times this happens, the child will think that the parents do not believe in themselves, and it is easy to "break the jar and break it".

What happened? Parents ask the child so, can give the child the opportunity to say what happened, is there a mistake first, parents can distinguish it when they hear it, and they will not wrongfully accuse the child.

Even if there is a real mistake, the child will be willing to admit the mistake because he has the opportunity to justify it.

02

How do you feel now?

After the child has said things, don't rush to distinguish who is right and who is wrong, but should ask the child: How do you feel now? Give your child an outlet to vent their emotions!

There is a saying that the sadness that can be expressed is not sadness.

Similarly, if the child can speak out his feelings and vent his emotions, his mood will be much better, and what he does next will be much simpler.

Studies have shown that when a person's emotions are strong, others can't listen to anything they say.

Some parents will tell their children right and wrong as soon as they come up, and if the children refute or do not do what the parents say, they will be crowned with the "crime" of disobedience and non-recognition of mistakes.

Therefore, in order for the child to be able to listen, the premise is to let the child "willfully complain" first. It's not about right or wrong, it's just a vent; after that, the child will be "obedient" a lot.

03

Do you have any ideas?

The child's own business, may wish to listen to his ideas first! Parents should not rush to give advice to their children, announce their decisions, and children may have better solutions.

Everyone has their own different ideas about anything, and so do children. At this time, whether what he says is absurd, useless, ridiculous or practical, parents do not need to judge too much, let the child speak freely.

If the child cannot accurately say what he thinks, the parent can guide it appropriately, "brainstorm" with the child, and list it as comprehensively as possible.

Parents should not be "self-righteous" and impose on their children what they think is the right and reasonable solution to force them to accept it. In this way, the child may have resistance, and it is not conducive to cultivating the child's ability to deal with problems independently, and the next time it will be helpless.

04

What do you think are the consequences of doing so?

It's actually a screening process that allows children to test whether their ideas are feasible. At this time, you will find why bother to help children judge? He knows for himself!

Compare it to the previous question and say what the consequences of doing so are, and you'll be surprised to learn that most of the consequences are understood by children. Unrealistic, absurd ideas will naturally be excluded, they are just a child's momentary anger, he actually knows that he will not do that.

If the child really can't recognize the seriousness of the consequences, this is also a good time to explain the pros and cons to the child. You can discuss it together, but don't just tell it to your child; and you can talk about things as it is, preach a lot, and the child has no personal experience and is not willing to listen.

Through discussion, the child can figure out what can be done and what is not. The results of their own analysis are often easier to accept than the parent's order to split his head and cover his face.

05

So what do you decide to do?

The child has understood what he can do, and the parents also have to give the child a choice: whether to do it or not to do it, or which one to choose, so that the child can make a decision with clear consequences.

Parents often teach their children to be earnest, feel that the child has recognized the mistake, quickly let him apologize or admit the mistake, and then remember it for a long time next time. In fact, even if the child who really made a mistake knows that he is wrong, he cannot quickly admit it, and the child also needs face and needs a buffer.

Parents can take out several solutions, under normal circumstances, children will choose the most beneficial to themselves. But don't get angry that your child didn't choose the kind we expect and force your child to change.

Parents can't say nothing, wait until the child decides to say no, so that the child will lose trust in the adult.

Respect your child's decisions and encourage him to be brave enough to learn from them, even if it is not the best solution.

06

What do you want me to do?

In addition to helping their children check, parents should also help him in time. So when the child asks how to help him, parents must actively support!

There are also children who are bold and strong in action, and they are more enthusiastic about solving problems on their own and do not want their parents to intervene. Parents do not need to worry too much, obedient and obedient, which helps the child's independence.

Every time something goes wrong, it's an opportunity to test. After the child passes once, he will accumulate a little experience, and parents do not have to help the child every time, so that the child cannot be independent, and over time, it will only develop the habit of relying on the parents for everything, which is not conducive to the growth of the child.

Sometimes, the child knows that he can solve it, but the parents stand up and make judgments and decisions for the child without authorization, and the child loses the opportunity to exercise himself. When you encounter a problem and are overwhelmed, you can forgive it!

Of course, when the child deviates, parents still have the responsibility to pull it in time and pull the child back to the right path, which is a good way to educate the child!

07

The result? Is that what you think?

Things are settled, but the parents' task is not yet complete. While the iron is hot, while the child still has an impression of the process and result of the matter, you can ask the child: the next time you encounter the same thing, how will it be solved?

Parents ask so, one can test whether the child has his own understanding after the incident, and the other can also let the child clarify the handling method of such an event, and the next time can solve it by himself.

Give the child more opportunities, repeat it several times, and the child will be able to solve it independently if he encounters similar things.

Don't think that the child is still young, and it is normal to find a teacher for parents when things happen. In fact, when the child is very young, he can already use some ways to solve the problem, such as if someone takes his own toy, then he will play with others, which is a way to solve the problem through exchange.

By participating in the whole process, the child will have a deep impression and understand the truth better, and the purpose of education will be achieved.

Every child makes mistakes, but not every parent knows how to educate their children. If the way is not right, not only will the problem not be solved, but it may also harm the child!

Scolding is the next strategy, parents who really know how to educate, must be those who reason with their children and grow up with their children!

Source: Kids Education Academy