Author: XiJun Li Zhe Editor: Li Jin Produced: Marriage and Family Magazine id: hunyinyujiating99
At the beginning of the new year, a message detonated on the Internet: Yu Xiuhua, a post-70s female poet, was suspected of having a new relationship exposed.
On January 1, 2022, a post-90s boy named Yang Chuce posted a video, young and handsome, holding 99 roses, through the crowd, walking to Yu Xiuhua's side, Yu Xiuhua's face was happy.
In the video that was released immediately, Yu Xiuhua was wearing a white gauze dress, smiling like a flower on the swing, and Yang Yuce, who was pushing the swing behind him, also smiled happily.
Not only that, Yang Chuce said in the video that the two were "meeting in autumn and running in both directions".
In this regard, Yu Xiuhua did not officially confirm it, but careful netizens still found a clue: On October 14 last year, Yu Xiuhua said in a video: Anyway, I met, I like you and me who are still simple at this age.
And in October, it's autumn.
Looking at a sweet face of Yu Xiuhua, netizens have sent blessings.
Everyone is also willing to believe that whether the relationship is true or not, Yu Xiuhua's happiness is not adulterated at all.
Recalling that Yu Xiuhua's fame was accompanied by a lot of criticism, many people felt that she:
Ugly in appearance, "cerebral palsy poet" with physical disabilities;
The poems went viral, but the content was explicit;
After receiving the publication fee, he dumped the peasant husband.
All this made Yu Xiuhua's originally unbeautiful face covered with a more gray mask.
The controversy did not make Yu Xiuhua fall silent, and she even wrote in "Gratuitous Joy": People should live a long life.
This attitude is too daring.
Looking back at Yu Xiuhua's life trajectory, the bitter past makes people sympathetic, but a beautiful turn makes her completely overturned, and now the state of happiness is even more enviable.
There are many women in life who are better than her, but there are few women like her, who are dashing and free, happy and happy.
What is the basis for a "clown" who is looked down upon by others, but who lives out the light of the "protagonist"?
Looking at the past, I found that it was only because she firmly grasped these 3 keys.
01
With money in hand, dare to have the confidence to be independent and free
Although Yu Xiuhua wrote idealized poems, she was sober in life.
A few years ago, xiao yujia once interviewed Yu Xiuhua, and when asked if she would write poetry for a living, Yu Xiuhua shook her head and replied: "Writing poetry is only for self-realization, I still continue to raise my rabbits." ”
There is no stupidity to blindly live by ideals, nor does he give up his love for poetry ideals, but he just works hard to support his life and create opportunities for choice.
In Yu Xiuhua's bookcase, there were various books, but a copy of the "Practical Chicken Raising Book" was placed on the outermost part, and she locked her manuscripts and favorite books in the old closet. Occasionally, she could see her few reading notes in the poetry collection, and everything related to poetry was quietly treasured.
Being sober and alive and keeping her love is Yu Xiuhua's strength and the starting point for her to turn against the wind.
After becoming popular, netizens speculated about Yu Xiuhua's marriage: because of her fame, she abandoned her honest husband.
Yu Xiuhua said frankly: "I have never liked him, I was, is, and will be, this is a fact that cannot be changed." ”
Because she suffered from cerebral palsy, when she was 19 years old, her parents married Yu Xiuhua to Yin Shiping, a man from the same village who was 13 years older than her. Since then, she has been caught in a disastrous marriage.
Although much older than Yu Xiuhua, Yin Shiping is not mature and considerate, not only does not care about his wife, but also does not hide his dislike for her, refuses to communicate with her, and contemptuously calls her "crooked mouth".
Yu Xiuhua said: "I have a husband, but there is no love. He and I have always been separate and he has not entered my life. Something big happened on my side, and he wouldn't know about it, and I didn't want him to know. ”
From the birth of the child, quarrels have accompanied them and become their only way of communicating.
Yu Xiuhua, who loves to write poetry, has her own spiritual world, and she writes all her hopes for life in her own poems. Her joy and pain, as well as her innocent fantasies, have become witty words, blooming one by one in her pen.
Yin Shiping, who has a primary school education, thinks that writing poetry is a ridiculous thing. He said to Yu Xiuhua: "A farmer does what a farmer should do, and writes about what he does all day." ”
Yu Xiuhua, who was a little arrogant in her heart, was dismissive of his words, and she could compromise on everything, but no one could stop writing poetry alone.
Yin Shiping also likes to drink a little wine and then find a stubble, which makes Yu Xiuhua very annoyed, and there have been many disputes because of this.
After the quarrel, Yin Shiping habitually slammed the door and came out, Yu Xiuhua was still a little worried at first that her husband really left and would not come back, she put away her stubbornness, with tears, shaking and chasing after Yin Shiping. Yin Shiping walked fast, and Yu Xiuhua had a particularly hard time chasing after him. Finally, under the persuasion of his mother, Yin Shiping walked home.
Such a marriage has plunged Yu Xiuhua into a painful quagmire, and she wants to struggle for her fate once. She thought of divorce, to get out of such a marriage. But on the way to the Civil Affairs Bureau several times, Yin Shiping took the opportunity to slip away.
In 2015, Yu Xiuhua's mother fell ill and was hospitalized, and when she called Yin Shiping to ask him to help, Yin Shiping said: It is okay to help, but you have to collect money.
If you want money, use the money to settle the marriage.
Yu Xiuhua immediately called Yin Shiping and told him: Divorce today gives you 150,000, tomorrow 100,000.
Yin Shiping did return. The 20-year-long marriage between the two was driven by money and quickly left.
Yu Xiuhua was relieved, but she did not rely on the help of her parents or the relief of others, but on her own efforts.
Yu Xiuhua once said: Women are tortured at home and dare not divorce, thinking about children, but the real reason for children is not that you do not divorce, but you can afford to support children.
Yin Shiping has long seen through that all he cares about is money, in order to divorce, Yu Xiuhua strives to start a business, while raising chickens and rabbits, while working hard to create. After the successful publication of the poetry collection, she received 230,000 yuan in manuscript fees.
The remaining 80,000 yuan after the divorce became the basis for the new life, so that he had no worries about food and clothing.
Many women say that they do not divorce for their children to swallow their anger, in fact, in the final analysis, it is just that they do not have the courage to let themselves be born again.
Indeed, always dependent on others, there is no right to choose.
And once life loses its choice, it is a sad thing for anyone.
There is a saying that goes: if you have money in your hands, you don't panic in your heart.
Working hard to earn money is not only to support yourself, but also to give yourself the confidence to choose your life.
The economy is not dependent, the spirit is not dependent, only then can we talk about having an independent self, and can we have a broad spiritual world for you to wander.
And only the wealth of the spiritual world can make you stand up to face it even if you are under the pressure of life.
02
There is goods in the belly, and dare to have the arrogance of holding your head high
After becoming popular, Yu Xiuhua published books, gave speeches, and appeared on shows, and celebrities visited, and various invitations came pouring in.
Many people have questioned that Yu Xiuhua's popularity is because of her disabled body, and her explicit poetic style has added a gimmick to her.
Some people also suggested that she take the opportunity to do a fundraising event, but Yu Xiuhua angrily refused, hoping that she would not be consumed.
On this day, she received a phone call, claiming to be a friend of her friend, who said, "I hope you live a little better and want to transfer money to her." Yu Xiuhua simply refused.
She is a person who values dignity, and she wants to live with dignity in her bones.
Yu Xiuhua once said, I use pain to please the world, but my talent, do not please the world, do not insult me with your shameful sympathy.
The impression of disabled people, whether in the family or in life, is mostly humble and small, and it is difficult to have dignity.
Yu Xiuhua was arrogant and arrogant.
Ancients Cloud: There is poetry and bookishness in the belly.
I agree.
What makes Yu Xiuhua not have to seek perfection is not luck or fame, it is her self-cultivation talent.
Due to cerebral palsy, Yu Xiuhua has lived in a mocking and contemptuous eye since she was a child, and she has endured silently, but she has never conceded defeat.
Even if you have limited mobility, you still insist on going to school, even if you pay 10 times more effort than others. After being persuaded by her teacher to drop out of school, she also insisted on self-study at home.
After getting married, although she was trapped by chai rice oil and salt, Yu Xiuhua never stopped writing poetry, only because she knew that if she wanted to be not despised, she could only make herself excellent.
Her mother reminded her: "We must patronize the family", and at the beginning, her husband Yin Shiping satirized her: "A farmer does what a farmer should do, and writes about what he does all day." ”
Yu Xiuhua did not compromise, let alone give up.
In 2014, a song "Through Most of China to Sleep with You" came out and became popular all over the Internet.
The original charm and warm voice are refreshing and make Yu Xiuhua's life look new.
Yu Xiuhua's popularity is accidental, but Yu Xiuhua's poetry is not accidental, and her success is inevitable.
After becoming famous, Yu Xiuhua did not over-market herself, and still insisted on learning and creating.
Only take stock of the list of books recommended by Yu Xiuhua in the program, from Wang Xiaobo to Kundera, from "Les Misérables" to "The Funeral of Muslims", ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, have been involved, the amount of reading outside the program can be imagined, it can be seen that on the road of constantly enriching himself, Yu Xiuhua has never stopped.
There are many short-lived Internet celebrities, but Yu Xiuhua continues to be hot, not because she will hype, but because she has light.
It is precisely because there is goods in the belly that there is light on the body, whether there is a mutilation or not, it can have a high head, be proud of the tribulations of life, refuse to despise sympathy, and boldly pursue a happy self.
03
There is love in the heart, dare to have the courage to pursue self
Yu Xiuhua once wrote a poem "Hand (to Father)": In the next life, you will not be your daughter again / even if you are a / Yu's housekeeper dog.
When ji asked her, why would she rather be a dog of parents? Her eyes were a little moist: "Because of love." ”
Yu Xiuhua's parents have 8 acres of land and 1 acre of weir ponds to take care of, and they have been dealing with the land for decades, and the days are slow and simple.
"Parents will quarrel, but the next day it will be like nothing happened." She said: "Mom and Dad live with enthusiasm. ”
It was a gentle and deep love, and this love laid the background for Yu Xiuhua's life to face adversity, and also made her heart always full of enthusiasm.
In 2021, Yu Xiuhua frantically confessed to Li Jian and wrote several love poems for him, and for a time the fans fried the pot, and the comment area also fried the pot.
Some fan netizens satirized Yu Xiuhua, ugly, divorced, explicit text, and did not deserve to like Li Jian.
Yu Xiuhua was not only unmoved, but also boldly recoiled, and unexpectedly won the praise of Li Jian himself.
Yu Xiuhua once said: "I am born to dare to love." ”
Dare to love life, dare to love others, dare to love yourself, in the most straightforward and enthusiastic way.
Whether it is in the countryside before becoming famous, or on the stage after becoming famous; whether in the video recorded by herself or in the interview on the scene of the show, Yu Xiuhua loves to wear bright and beautiful clothes, breaking the stereotype of people's gray heads and dirty faces of the disabled.
In the remote countryside, in the blows of her husband, in that disastrous marriage, even if life is only bitter, she still has not given up her love for the ideal of poetry and the pursuit of love.
Many people like her poems, not necessarily her looks, but Yu Xiuhua never minds, often reading and sharing her poems in videos.
In her poems, she boldly reveals her yearning for love, her sincere confession to her lover, and her share of her life status.
Whether it is the image, language or heart, Yu Xiuhua lives a very "dare", dare to love and dare to pursue.
It is precisely because she dares to face the truth of life and dares to make sincere efforts that Yu Xiuhua can write such a "muddy and sandy", "smoky and fiery", and truly touching words.
As the saying goes: there is love in the heart, and there is light in the eyes.
Not fake at all.
Yu Xiuhua used her actions to tell everyone that no matter what the situation, we can do our best to save ourselves.
As long as there is money in the hand, there is goods in the belly, and there is love in the heart, there is the courage to face life and choose the confidence of life. Don't have to envy others wonderful, you can boldly love others, pursue yourself, not to please others, just to please yourself, like Yu Xiuhua, live a wonderful and wanton life.
At the end of the day, everyone has the ability to be happy, not to the environment, to choice, not to looks, to pursuits and efforts.
I hope that all women can be like Yu Xiuhua, sober and independent, with fanghua in their abdomen, with love and self, and live a wonderful and beautiful life.
Just like her New Year's wishes: May we all follow our hearts and be free!
Resources:
1. "Yu Xiuhua: Boiling Pain into Poetry and Applying it to the Wounds of Loveless Marriage"
2. Yu Xiuhua's personal Douyin video and Weibo account
3. Yang Chuce personal Douyin account
4. Documentary "The Shaky World"
5. Phoenix Network Reading, Yu Xiuhua live interview
6. Phoenix.com: Yu Xiuhua's documentary "Twilight Rises in My Body"