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In 2015, a girl named Hu Linna participated in the variety show "I Am Not a Star".
Under the repeated questioning of the host, she said her mother's name - Ding Jiali with some difficulty.
The audience was in an uproar.
The host then asked her to describe her mother.
Hu Linna wanted to stop talking and swallowed: "Mother, in fact, this word is quite strange to me." ”
"Because my mom and I have only met twice in the last fifteen years."
There was a sudden silence in the audience, and the audience showed a look of disbelief.
Hulina, on the stage, took a deep breath.
When I opened my mouth again, I already had a heavy crying voice.
In fact, not only was it difficult for her to see her mother, she had never even seen her father.
From an early age, she was fostered in her uncle's house, living a life under the fence, suffering from the lack of father's and mother's love.
01 Undesirable births
In 1988, Hu Linna was born in Beijing, nicknamed Duoduo, and used the stage name Tintin.
Her father's name was Hu Guangchuan, an unknown actor, and her mother was Ding Jiali, the famous Golden Rooster Award for Best Supporting Actress.
To some extent, her parents were not very much looking forward to her arrival.
All this has to start with her parents after they got married.
Two years ago, Ding Jiali insisted on marrying Hu Guangchuan despite her parents' objections.
However, her persistence did not allow herself to reap the rewards of a good marriage. Soon after marriage, the two often quarreled over trivial matters of life, and the sweetness of falling in love gradually faded in the quarrel.
Soon after, Hu Guangchuan needed to travel to other places for a period of time, and Ding Jiali, who was deeply influenced by the Western X Emancipation Thought, did not resist the invasion of loneliness and cheated on a husband with a wife.
The two fought fiercely with each other's partners on their backs.
In the midst of the earburns, she quickly became pregnant with the other party's child.
Only at this time did she panic and go to the cheating partner to find a way.
What she did not expect was that the man who was as enthusiastic as fire for her in his daily life looked at her coldly and spat out a cold and desperate word from his mouth.
"Whether it's mine or not, I don't know, you better solve it yourself."
It was winter, and Ding Jiali stood in the snow in a daze, bearing the cold wind, watching the man's departing back, tears flowing.
In desperation, she had to sneak to the hospital alone and have an abortion.
After the miscarriage, she not only did not stay in bed to recuperate, but also filmed the movie "The First Woman in the Mountain Forest" for more than a month in the northeast of minus 40 degrees.
During that month, her stomach ached so much that even the painkillers lost their effectiveness, and she also suffered from chronic pelvic inflammatory disease, which was difficult to cure.
After suffering for more than a month, Ding Jiali returned home and confessed the matter to her parents.
Her father was so angry that he sucked his own mouth and hated failing to educate his daughter well.
Soon after, her father told her husband about it. At that time, Hu Guangchuan's face was pale, but he didn't say anything.
In 1988, Ding Jiali, who was pregnant with Liujia, was undergoing a caesarean section when she suddenly received a call from Hu Guangchuan.
Over the phone, she heard the cold and heartless words again. Her husband told her that he was getting along with a woman ten years older than himself and was living a very happy life.
Ding Jiali's heart was stabbed fiercely, but she could only plead with him not to say this, she was going to have a baby.
But the husband said, "Yes, I just want to take revenge on you, what you have done yourself, you know it yourself, I just want to take revenge on you." ”
She had nothing to say, only to apologize in a row, and when Hu Guangchuan hung up the phone, she got on the operating table and gave birth to her daughter Hu Linna.
At that time, she also had a medical accident. The anesthesiologist forgot to anesthetize her, and she survived the entire caesarean section.
In her husband's view, and even in her own view, this is retribution.
After the child reached the age of majority, the couple, who had already gone against the grain, went through divorce procedures.
Ding Jiali left the Hu family, and Hu Linna, who was left behind, ushered in a tragic life.
02 Life under the fence
Although custody was given to his father, Hu Guangchuan was indifferent to the child and lost it to his elderly parents. After the business failed, he left the house directly and never appeared again.
Hu Linna's grandparents were old and lacking in energy, and it was very difficult to take care of a young child, so they had to put her in the home of the class teacher or other teachers.
During this time, Ding Jiali went back to see her once.
It was the first time since Hulina had known her mother since she was a long time, and it was also the first time she had received the news that her mother was going to see her.
The first night, she stood at the door and waited, looking at the intersection from afar. Grandma hurried to pull her into the house, laughing and saying that her mother would not be able to come until the next afternoon.
The next afternoon, she saw her mother for the first time, and her grandmother pulled her to her mother's side, but she was too strange to her mother to come forward for a long time.
That day Ding Jiali came quickly and walked fast, leaving HuLina looking at the intersection in a daze.
Watch people coming and going, watching the wind come and go.
Finally lowered his head and looked at his own shadow.
On that day, no one knew what this child, who had not been loved by his parents, was thinking.
Later, when her grandfather and grandmother died one after another, she went to the homes of various teachers and was finally fostered in her uncle's house.
Her uncle's family had two children, a year or two younger than her, and with Hulina, her uncle had to raise three children, for which he complained and never gave her a good look.
Whether she made a mistake or not, he scolded even more when he wanted to, and hit when he wanted.
Once, Hulina and her two sisters were playing a pillow fight upstairs, and when they were seen by their uncle, he didn't say a word, but directly slapped her in the face.
She was dumbfounded.
The uncle did not give her time to react, and immediately after slapping her, he grabbed her by the collar and dragged her all the way to a dark room, pushed her mercilessly in spite of her cries, and then locked the door of the room.
In that room, there were the ashes of her grandfather and grandmother.
Young Hulina was frightened.
She cried and shouted and slammed the door, kept admitting mistakes, kept apologizing, kept promising never to dare again, and then dared to plead with her uncle to let her out.
However, even though her voice was hoarse, her uncle still turned a deaf ear to her pleading, and did not open the door until she had been locked up for a day and a night.
On that day and night, in that dark room, Hulina thought a lot, wondering why her parents didn't want her anymore.
Hulina couldn't think of an answer, and she couldn't get an answer.
She had also longed for her mother to one day suddenly appear and take her home immediately.
But she also felt that this was a luxury, because at that time, her mother had just ended her second marriage and was raising her half-brother alone, and it was inconvenient to take her back.
With the passage of time, the extravagant hope in her heart gradually evolved into a confrontation with her mother afterwards.
03 Remembering the mother
After living with her uncle for more than ten years, Hulina gradually got used to this life under the fence and stopped dreaming that one day her parents would suddenly appear and take her away.
When she was in the second grade of junior high school, her mother suddenly reappeared and decided to take her to her side.
Hu Linna was naturally happy, but with the passage of time, the desire in her heart had slowly turned into hatred, hating her mother for abandoning herself to start a new life, and hating her for only caring for her brother but ignoring herself.
Therefore, from the time she followed Ding Jiali back to the strange family, she did not call out to her mother, nor did she have any communication with her mother.
Ding Jiali also wants to make up for her daughter well, but she can't do anything about it, and she always makes it self-defeating.
Once, Hu Linna came home late from school, and she was obviously worried about her daughter's safety, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she became a question, asking where she had gone.
When she replied that it was too late from school, Ding Jiali thought that the child was lying and was angry, because she had asked the teacher earlier that the school was out of school early.
The child wanted to explain, and she also directly shouted: "You roll me!" ”
At twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, Hu Linna stood helplessly on the footbridge, looking at the traffic under the bridge in the cold wind, and deeply felt that there was no place for her in the vast city.
Later, Ding Jiali learned that because of her unsatisfactory test results that day, she ran to the park to sort out her emotions before she dared to go home, which delayed the time.
Ding Jiali was very guilty about this, but she did not know that this time the quarrel not only increased the gap between mother and daughter, but also caused Hu Linna's grade to plummet, falling to the bottom of the grade, and also learned to be mischievous.
Therefore, Ding Jiali was often called to school by her teacher, but no matter what she said, Hu Linna did not listen.
At that time, she did not know that Hulina was often beaten at her uncle's house, and she thought of finding a familiar uncle to persuade the child.
Unexpectedly, the uncle didn't say anything, and directly slapped the front slap on the past. Unprepared, Hulina was slapped to the ground with the back of her head on the floor.
Ding Jiali, who was beside her, was stunned and did not react for a long time.
She didn't know that this would be the case, and she didn't know that this slap from her uncle made Hulina more and more disappointed in her.
Before that, because high school was a boarding school, Hulina usually lived in the dormitory, and could only go home on weekends; after that, she began to go home less often.
Because Ding Jiali often traveled from place to place to shoot, she did not pay too much attention to this matter, thinking that she was safe to stay in school.
As everyone knows, the gap between mother and daughter is getting bigger and bigger, and even in the next fifteen years, the number of times they have met is countless.
04 Hard life in the north drift
After graduating from high school, Hu Linna did not consult with her mother, directly applied for Nanguang College, and studied alone in Nanjing.
When the roommates have high living expenses and can go shopping and shopping at will, she is accustomed to living under the fence and does not dare to ask her mother for more living expenses.
When they were flirting with their parents on the other end of the phone, she and her mother could only contact through text messages on weekdays, and even the text messages exchanged between mother and daughter were pitiful.
As a child, she could only learn how parents got along with their young children from parent-teacher conferences and parent-child activities held at school.
At this moment, she still knows how to get along with her parents and adult children from the contact between her classmates and her parents.
In the process of understanding, she will always gush with envy, even jealousy.
After graduating from university, Hu Linna returned to Beijing and rented a small room of only 9 square meters outside the home alone.
She wanted to be an actress like her mother, so she began to run dragon sets in the crew. The salary for running the dragon set is not high, and at the end of the year, she only earns eight thousand yuan.
Except for the necessary expenses, there is little left of these eight thousand pieces.
As a result, winter became her most feared season because she could not afford to pay for the heating.
Every winter, she could only put on three layers of thick clothes and three layers of outer layers, and then put on thick men's socks to ward off the cold.
But in the middle of the night, she was still awakened by the cold wind pouring in through the window. Whenever this happened, she feared that she would freeze to death.
However, in her heart, this is still something that can be survived by gritting her teeth.
What made her feel most uncomfortable was the Spring Festival.
Every spring festival, she spends her time alone in the rental house. Chinese New Year's Eve night, her Chinese New Year's Eve rice is also a simple two pieces of brine tofu, one dipped in soy sauce, the other cut into pieces, stewed cabbage.
after Chinese New Year's Eve meal, Hulina would sometimes go out to watch fireworks. Often at this time, she would look through the window of other people's homes and see a large group of people sitting around the dinner table, laughing and laughing.
The aroma of braised meat on the dining table seemed to have broken through the window and drilled straight into her nose.
This fragrance made her heart extremely sour.
In 2015, Hu Linna participated in the variety show "I Am Not a Star" sponsored by Zhejiang Satellite TV.
On the show, she first recounted her childhood and the tragic life of The North Drift.
It was also on this episode that after fifteen years, the mother and daughter met again and hugged each other again.
The estrangement and strangeness between the two melted away in their tears.
The mother and daughter had been waiting for this day for a long time, and they had finally waited for this day.
05 Conclusion
Since 2009, after Ting Jiali believed in Buddhism, she has been confessing to the public what she has done wrong, and also admitting that she has been ashamed of her children because of selfishness in her life.
However, she had not been able to find a way before, and Hu Linna's heartfelt words on the show allowed her to find a way to make up for it.
She persuaded her daughter to quit the rental house of only 9 square meters, began to take care of her life, and began to teach her experience and experience in performance to her daughter without reservation.
In 2019, the mother and daughter have co-starred in the TV series "Old Chinese Medicine", "Bihai Danxin" and "Xiaguang", because she is worried that her daughter will be blamed for not performing well, and she is very strict with Hu Linna's performance.
Her mother's high requirements once made her more stressed, but she did not feel angry, but was happy for her mother's optimism and the rapid improvement of her acting skills.
In 2021, she played the role of "Li Dazui" in the "Shen Jilan's Proposal" unit of the TV series "Meritorious Service", and her eye-catching performance made her get a lot of attention.
Today, HuLina is 34 years old and still focused on her acting career. For lifelong events, she also hopes to find the right partner and form a warm little family.
Even as a child growing up in a broken family, she still did not lose hope in marriage and family.
As the saying goes, marriage is not a child's play.
If each couple can be carefully considered before marriage, and after marriage, they can assume the responsibility of parenthood, and perhaps more and more children will not have to bear the consequences of their parents' mistakes.
There will also be more and more children, no longer afraid of love, no longer afraid of marriage.
Finally, I wish Hu Linna can realize her wish as soon as possible and have her own happy and warm family.
Believe that after surviving all suffering, you will eventually see a bright future.