# Have a heart to find lemon psychology #
Lemon Psychology 丨 Author Lemon Psychology & QQ Music 丨 Audio Pexels, Pixabay, Network 丨 Image Source
Everyone has their own answer to this question.
I saw a sentence on the Internet that day, and I thought it was very aptly described, it said:
"To be loved is to feel that there is someone who can give you a bottom."
Come to think of it, it really is.
Our first experience of being loved is from our parents:
Parents take good care of us, we get along with our parents bit by bit, we believe that we are loved by our parents, to let you give an example, you can say ten thousand, of course, you can also not say one but is very determined.
In fact, psychology has always emphasized that parents should give their children "unconditional love", which is also the meaning, we believe that no matter whether we are excellent or not, whether we are outstanding, parents love us, even if we will have disagreements with our parents, there will be quarrels, but we will still believe that our parents stand with us.
Especially in adulthood, we leave our parents to study and work hard in a foreign country, and when we encounter unhappy things, we will especially miss our parents.
It feels like i'm in a helpless boat in the ocean, and from time to time there are storms and rains, and my parents are the solid and reliable harbor, where we are the safest and most comfortable.
And parents will also say to us, "You are happy to do it, come back when you are not happy, and your parents will raise you." ”
It is this sentence that makes us not afraid of encountering great difficulties, and we are convinced that our parents can give us a bottom line.
01
And this understanding and feeling of "being loved" can also be applied to love, and many girls are very touched by the classic line in "The King of Comedy":
Yin Tianqiu asked Liu Piaopiao, "Can you not go to work?" Liu Piaopiao asked him, "If you don't go to work, will you raise me?" Yin Tianqiu groaned for a long time, and finally looked up and said, "I will raise you." ”
In the movie, Liu Piaopiao refused, and then cried silently in the taxi, outside the movie, we remembered this sentence, and also remembered that this is the most accurate expression of love.
It's just that some girls only stay in the literal sense of this sentence, feeling that they don't work, and that their boyfriends or husbands who earn money to support themselves are love.
But that's a misconception:
True love is that I am behind you, a place you can trust, and no matter what you are, I am by your side.
02
Why does psychology say that good intimacy can heal a person's psychological wounds?
That's where the answer lies, too.
Although everyone's psychological trauma is different, the core is basically one, that is:
"I feel like I'm not loved, I don't love myself."
And if you find someone who truly loves you:
He re-gives you this feeling of being loved, making you believe that at any time, there is a person on your side, thousands of people in the world, and he prefers you alone.
Then all your previous grievances, sadness, and self-loathing will disappear, and you will slowly achieve self-healing in this safe relationship.
But this person he does not play the role of mom and dad, he has his own identity, the two of you are equal, no one should ask their lover to spoil us like a parent, then the relationship is misplaced.
We are adults, we should learn the "adult-adult" mode of getting along, two people maintain the independence of their respective personalities, but will not irresponsibly be the treasurer, encounter difficulties to solve together, happy things are also shared together, so that the relationship between the two people will be intimate and stronger.
I hope that everyone can find the person who can give you the bottom, and you are willing to give the other person the bottom.
-The End-