In ancient times, there was an old couple, the old man had a son, the little boy looked smart and clever, the old two mouths hurt the child, and they were afraid to melt in their mouths, and they were afraid of falling on their heads. Cold places do not dare to put, hot places do not dare to put. Mothers, in particular, are almost doting.
One day, the child was playing at the neighbor's house, and when he came back, he took a needle from the neighbor and handed it to his mother, who did not ask for the reason, and directly praised her son for being smart and able to bring something to his parents from outside. Gradually, children often come back from outside with small things, lie and say that they have picked them up, and please their mothers, who think they are still very beautiful.
As the old saying goes: when you steal a needle when you are a child, you can steal a cow when you grow up.
Sure enough, after adulthood, once, the child brought back a cow from outside, the parents did not even ask the reason, thinking that the son had the ability to earn money to buy back, and then the cattle lost people found out and wanted to sue the officials, who wanted to tell the officials when the child heard that he wanted to sue the officials, and he actually lost his hand and beat people to death.
When he was about to go to the execution ground, the county magistrate asked him what else he wanted, and he offered to see his mother. The poor mother brought food to send her son away, and the child knelt in front of his mother and cried: "The child is nurtured by the mother, and before he dies, he wants to suck the breast milk again to comfort the spirit of the child in heaven." The mother was relieved, and the son actually bit off the nipple and said hatefully: "My trip today is due to my mother's excessive doting in her childhood and not teaching it." "It's sighing.
In fact, loving-kindness is not the same as coddling, and the so-called "adopted son doting does not teach, the parents' fault" is this truth. Later generations have the saying "loving mother and many losers".
"Filial piety is born under the stick, and there are many losers under the loving mother" This sentence comes out of the "Augmenting The Sage Text", the original words are: "Strict father out of filial piety, loving mother more defeated children." Similar concepts are mentioned in various ancient books, and then have been passed down to this day.
Rural proverb: "Filial piety is produced under the stick, and there are many losers under the loving mother", the loving mother in this is to say that she is too doting on the child, and the stick does not mean to beat, it means that the father should teach the child when the child makes a mistake. It is to discipline children more in daily life and let children understand the strictness of their fathers. It is not "stick education".
On the contrary, if parents overly hit the child, it will only make the child's psychology frustrated, have no benefit and effect on the child, and may even cause some bad influences and consequences.
Therefore, under the stick here is not a blow, but to give guidance in the process of the child's growth, so that he does not go down a crooked road. Once a decisive error has occurred, you can help your child to correct it quickly.
Just like the old couple above, the mother only spoils and is reluctant to discipline the child, so that the child does not know what is right and what is wrong. When children steal needles when they are young, when they grow up, they dare to head cattle.
The father also did not do what a strict father should do, ignoring the child and resigning himself to it. The child is like a small tree, fluttering long, when the time comes not to repair the branches, can the small tree not grow bad?
Therefore, in the process of getting along with the child as a parent, the mother should not spoil the child, and the father should consider giving the child certain advice to guide the child in the right direction.