I saw a short video on my phone, the five-year-old daughter naughtily crossed off the paint of her father's newly bought car, and the father was angry, tied his daughter's hands with a steel wire, and then went regardless of his own business. Her daughter's hand was broken due to prolonged blood circulation and she had to be amputated.
The course of events is heartbreaking! I believe that this father must have regretted it and was heartbroken! The daughter scraped off the paint of the car, and the father actually made the daughter lose her hands! No one could have predicted this result, if the father had not been so impulsive, if the father had been more careful, the tragedy would not have happened.
It's not that the father doesn't love his daughter, he's just angry and just wants to educate his daughter... However, there is no regret medicine in the world, and I only hope that this lesson can be a warning to parents who always cannot suppress their emotions and always love to educate their children with emotions.
People will have emotions, but don't educate children with emotions!
The phenomenon of educating children with emotions is very common and can be seen almost everywhere.
I just met such a scene in the snack shop: the mother was busy, and when she saw her son coming back, she covered her face and asked, "Why did you come back so late?" The son bowed his head and said, "My classmates told me to play football." The mother immediately became angry, smashed the rag in her hand on her son's head, and scolded loudly: "I told you to come back from school and you don't listen, your classmates told you to play football and you listened, you went to your classmates to eat!" ”
The mother is clearly venting her emotions, not educating the child. Perhaps it is wrong for the child not to return home in time as required, but the mother impulsively throws the rag, shouts and scolds, and the content of the scolding cannot be knocked on the wrong place of the child. Such an education is more of a reaction.
In reality, there are many similar scenes like this, after all, the pressure of all aspects of life and work often makes people feel anxious, and the inappropriate words and deeds of children often become the fuse that ignites the anger of parents. Not to mention that children are the weaker party and are more likely to be the object of pouring out their emotions.
Life is not easy, especially when children touch and damage objects or things that parents care about and cherish.
When I went to a friend's house, I happened to bump into her beating her son violently. I grabbed her and asked incomprehensibly, "You are not a violent parent, how did you become like this today?" She pushed away her crying son and said, "If you don't beat him like this, how can he remember sex for a long time!" It turned out that the son accidentally knocked down a beloved piece of art that she had spent a year's salary on, and it was hard to buy.
I looked at the three-year-old child who was crying at a loss and asked my friend, "Did my son mean it?" The friend shook his head, still in anger.
I asked my friend again, "If my son knocked over an ordinary cup, would you be so angry and hit the child like this?" The friend froze. I know, I asked this question to wake up my friend, only to see her slowly crouch down and hug the child...
As a parent, there are inevitably emotions in life, and children will inevitably make mistakes, but when you need to educate your children, you must first control your emotions and educate your children in peace of mind. Only this kind of education is effective education, so as not to hurt children. However, many parents are always difficult to do, especially in the case of life and work are not going well.
I read the words of a netizen on the Internet: "After becoming a parent, I really lived to be the most hated look when I was a child." "In fact, many times parents are able to self-awareness and regret afterwards, but they can't control themselves at that time."
Parents educate their children with emotions, which is harmful.
The father in the short video punishes the child with emotions, causing the child to lose his hands is a typical case. However, because of the emotional education of children, the child's body and mind are injured, and the normal growth of children is not unique.
There was once an attractive help post on Zhihu: "My daughter went on a hunger strike because I tore her notebook, what should I do?" "It is very clear that the mother's impulsive way of education, tearing off her daughter's notebook has seriously hurt her daughter, and she protests to her mother in the extreme way of hunger strike. Her daughter is a high school junior who likes to write novels, and the notebook records the inspiration she generates every day, and she plans to officially write after the college entrance examination. The mother was worried that she was not concentrating on her studies, and when the persuasion was ineffective, she tore her notebook in anger, and the so-called "education" that was simple, rough, and especially full of resentment impulses made her daughter completely desperate. Not only can the mother not let her daughter devote herself to learning, but she also makes her daughter not even eat...
Education with emotions often confuses the purpose of education.
The starting point of parental education and the child's mistakes are often covered up by emotional words and deeds, and children feel more of the parents' anger and hurt themselves. Children may not be able to distinguish between right and wrong, and will become timid and inferior because of too emotional criticism and even scolding.
Once people have emotions, rationality will be greatly weakened. The language in emotions is often very hurtful. Impulsive behavior in emotions, including smashing things and committing violence, has terrible, sometimes almost devastating consequences.
Underage children, after experiencing many emotional education by their parents, some children will lose their sense of security, become introverted, and show cringe and fear in behavior; some children will become rebellious, impulsive, willful, and like to oppose people.
It can be said that education with emotions not only fails, but also does a lot of harm.
How can parents educate their children without emotion?
Since there are many drawbacks and harms in parents' emotional education of their children, parents must strive to avoid them.
First of all, parents should improve their self-cultivation, keep themselves at peace, and be able to control their emotions.
Social competition is large, the pace of life is fast, and the parents of minor children are mostly old and young on the inside, and it is the time to carry heavy burdens outside, and the pressure is greater. Peace of mind is very important, once people fall into anxiety, they are prone to tantrums, easy to lose reason. Therefore, no matter how busy the work is, when you are with your child, you must clarify the boundaries and give your child a calm heart.
There was a practice circulating on the Internet to quiet yourself outside before stepping into the house.
When getting along with children, once there is a bad emotion, you should quickly remind yourself to let yourself control your emotions before dealing with the problem.
Secondly, when the child makes a mistake, don't rush to criticize the child, first ask yourself, why does the child make such a mistake? What is the environment in which your child makes mistakes? After figuring it out, sort out your thoughts and be kind to your child.
Especially when the child causes greater loss or injury, it is more important to calm down and tell yourself: there is no way to get rid of what has happened, it is important to let the child realize the consequences, and know how to do it so that there will be no such consequences, and then educate the child in an appropriate way.
In addition, it is necessary to establish a good parent-child relationship with the child, so that the child can open up to himself no matter what situation he encounters.
Understanding the child and communicating with the child will make yourself more pleasant in the relationship with the child and less unpleasant emotions. Even if it is occasionally accompanied by emotions, it can also explain to the child and make up for it afterwards, reduce the harm to the child, and make education have a certain effect.
The education of children is not emotional, all rely on the daily self-regulation and self-control of parents!
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