As the saying goes: "Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren", the second half of the sentence is the essence, saying the common disease of many parents
We often hear a word, that is, "Chinese parents", always like to pave the way for their children and plan for their future. As everyone knows, sometimes the future they want is not what children want, as parents, the most important thing on the child's growth path is to guide, not to determine. Therefore, I still hope that everyone will restrain their own thoughts and do not let their excessive care ruin the future of their children.
For this kind of parent, the sentence that I want to introduce to you today is very important, and perhaps many people will change their minds after reading this sentence. Of course, there may be many people who have heard of it, but there are not many people who can really do it, it is "children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, do not make horses and cattle for their children and grandchildren."
There is an allusion behind this sentence, telling the story of a family. It comes from Guan Hanqing's "Butterfly Dream of Three Surveys of The Bag to Be Made", the protagonist of the story is a Xiucai surnamed Luo, a person during the Xuande period of the Ming Dynasty, he was born poor, taking the imperial examination was also frustrated in the examination room, and finally had no choice but to choose to leave his hometown and go to another place to be a teacher.
At this time, Luo Xiucai already had his own family, his wife was a big girl, and the two had a son. When Luo Xiucai left home, the housework in the family needed to be done by his wife alone, but his wife was not good at housework, so he trained his son to become his right-hand man.
One day, Luo Xiucai returned home, saw his 7-year-old son, very happy, and felt that his son was very smart and should be able to achieve a career. So he wanted to test his son and decided to pair up with him, but the child had not read books since he was a child, and he was also doing housework with his mother.
Luo Xiucai pointed to the sky and asked his son, what is the opposite of "heaven"? Luo Xiucai's wife was very anxious to see it on the side, so she decided to help her son, she pointed to the ground, but there happened to be a pile of on the ground, so the son blurted out, which made Luo Xiucai angry enough.
He pointed to himself and asked his son, what is the opposite of "father"? The wife pointed to herself, but the son's thinking was more novel, and blurted out the word "milk". Luo Xiucai was really disappointed at this time, and felt that his son would only be a mangy husband in the future. Sadly, Luo Xiucai resolutely decided to become a monk.
The wife was very sad at first, but then she gradually figured it out, she invited a teacher for her son, and his son was also more contentious and learned everything quickly. In the end, the son lived up to his mother's hopes and became a champion in one fell swoop.
In order to thank his mother, the son decided to give his mother a birthday, and Luo Xiucai heard the news and was very excited. He decided to go home to visit, but at this time neither his wife nor her son recognized him, and his wife even thought that he was an ordinary monk with a relationship, and gave him some money, and finally Luo Xiucai inscribed a few poems:
Leaving my hometown for eighteen autumns, I do not collect thousands of dollars and rice;
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and they should not be horses and cattle for their children and grandchildren.
How to say it, this is actually a sad story. In fact, there was nothing wrong with his son, but Luo Xiucai reacted too fiercely. The author probably also wants to tell people through this story that everything in their children and grandchildren is not so important, and that their children and grandchildren have their own blessings.
Now many parents have broken their hearts for their children, so that their children have begun to attend various cram classes from an early age, afraid that their children will lose at the starting line. Sometimes this can backfire, because a lot of interests need to be cultivated from an early age, each child has its own strengths, and the most important thing for parents is to discover their children's strengths. And it's not about imposing all the standards you feel are "perfect" on your own children.
There are also some parents who make cattle and horses for their children, so that many of them are in their thirties and are still an old man. I believe that such a family also has suffering and cannot say it. People who hope to be parents can understand these truths, let the children be self-reliant this morning, their future is in their own hands, and not everything is arranged by their parents, such a life, in fact, there is no meaning.