01
The other day, my parents came to Hangzhou.
On Sunday afternoon, I received them with excitement. When I received that moment, my mood was mixed — my mother brought a lot of dishes and snacks.
The old man has a heart, you naturally can't say more, no matter how you tell her: Shaoxing can buy, Hangzhou can also buy.
But my mom insisted that the shrimp she bought at the vegetable farm must be more alive than the shrimp I bought at the vegetable farm.
In daily life, parents rarely come to Hangzhou. After my mother's surgery, they stayed in Shaoxing. And Grandma is old, and her parents do not leave their bodies every day.
This time I came to Hangzhou because my dad found a 1.2cm polyp, not very serious, for the sake of safety, I chose an experienced doctor to do it. You can also take this opportunity to let your parents come to Hangzhou for a few days to relax.
02
I rarely bother with this on a daily basis.
When I come to my house, I raise my hands to welcome, after all, my parents are there, and it is also a kind of harmony to be able to accompany them more.
But what I couldn't accept the most was their disagreement with me on the issue of my child's education, which once made me think, "Ah, when is this day over?"
I didn't even figure it out for a long time:
Why is it that when I was a child, my dad could accompany me on a bicycle for a show and stay up until 12 o'clock at night to come home.
Until now, when I let my daughter practice, exercise, and even do her homework, the tone is not friendly enough, and he feels that I am violent to her.
Of course, from the moment they arrived, things began.
On the issue of education, the generation gap between the two generations should be the largest, even more unacceptable than the habits of life.
If living habits can be adjusted to each other, then the differences on the issue of education, as parents and as grandparents, grandparents and grandmothers are completely different.
They'll put on a posture of "You see, we're not overly demanding of you, and now you're doing well." When they saw my finished product, they had completely forgotten what they looked like in the first place:
When I was young, I also worked very hard, hoping that I could do well in the exam, so that the New Year could be happy.
Later, I went to the Children's Palace, and the teachers of the weekly interest class also assigned homework. Later in the game, there is also learning to compose, writing calligraphy and playing the flute.
Later, when I failed the exam, I really felt a deep sense of guilt.
As a child, how can there be no pressure?
Many children may have to make unremitting efforts to live the life of ordinary people.
03
But parents have long forgotten. My parents forgot, and so did my in-laws.
In exchange for the following scenario:
In the evening to pick up the children, on the left is grandpa (my father) carrying a school bag, on the right is grandpa (my father-in-law) carrying a watercolor pen, along the way, three people have talked and laughed, while walking and saying:
"You see, Grandpa and Grandpa have come to your rescue."
Of course I knew it was a joke, but the thought of my daughter looking at me with pride on her back was already bubbling up in my hair.
(She is like this every day, but since my parents came, the picture is too beautiful)
When the time was set in the evening, my daughter finished playing table tennis, and my father said: Oh my God, this child is too tired.
Grace began to nibble on the chicken leg slowly, and before she could eat at a normal speed, she had now turned on a slow pace.
I said, "Eat quickly."
She said: "I was exhausted, my hands were sore, and I played ball for an hour.
I said: How did you play last week and come back to eat quickly, why can't you do it today?
She said: "Last week is last week, today is today.
Since the family has helped a lot, my daughter has become particularly reasonable and strong in her speech, and she has not knotted.
After eating slowly, I began to practice the piano and cello.
My dad finished cutting the apple and put it on her piano stand. My mother-in-law said: Grandma steamed pears for you, and you can eat them later.
I looked at the nest fire. Play the piano for 10 minutes and snack for half an hour.
This scene is going to explode in minutes.
When the piano starts, the wrong tone is counted, and the rhythm is completely wrong. And it is obviously a previously skilled piece, suddenly like a broken string, how can not be connected.
I asked her: What's wrong with you?
At this time, my mother appeared: well said, practice wrong and then practice again, what do you roar.
Grace finished practicing and went upstairs, and I was alone below.
Seriously, as soon as there are many elderly people in the family, I feel particularly thin and humble, and I am not human.
Four old men began to give me turns meetings:
"Don't be too fierce with your child, your mental state will be bad in the future."
"Don't put too much pressure on your child, just be healthy and healthy."
The mother-in-law said, "When you finally come, you don't know, but when I was the only old man, I didn't say a word." ”
I heard fainting.
Please, not a good child, mental problems.
She obviously can be better by working hard, but you are dragging your feet.
I said, "I don't want to argue with you." But I have to have my own position, the child's business, the measure in me. I'm her mother, and you have to believe me. ”
I saw Grace looking at me from upstairs, and several old men looking at me, and at that moment I felt as heroic as a warrior.
04
Thankfully, this won't last long. Pinch your fingers and count, you will have to go back to Shaoxing in a few days.
Is it because I don't welcome my parents to come to me?
No!
But I think that anything can be compromised, but the only thing that cannot be compromised is the issue of children's education.
The hard wounds of intergenerational education most of the time are actually the game and compromise of two generations.
The game is about values, and the compromise is about each other's time and energy.
I am very, very convinced that children need not only freedom, but also quality education. What the child needs is love, and what he also needs is love that is warm and restrained.
I am writing this article today to tell you:
There is no shortage of stumbling blocks in the matter of parenting, but we must always understand where the measure is and where to insist.
With you.
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