Author: Insight Li Siyuan
How good a person's character is, it depends on his subtlest, most hidden, and least easily detected places.
There is a saying that if you are not careful, you will lose everything.
In fact, not only playing chess, but also life.
Sometimes, or because you are not careful, you say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, move the wrong thought.
The light will lose the name and profit, and the heavy will accumulate mistakes and it will be difficult to return.
In dealing with people, we must be careful in our words and deeds, keep our mouths shut, and protect our hearts.
01
Speak carefully and avoid disasters.
There is a saying that evil comes out of the mouth.
Usually we have physical problems, basically because of bad food.
But we have caused trouble, but most of it is due to careless speech.
Therefore, everything that is spoken needs to be considered repeatedly.
What can not be said, not said. Can't say, not a word leaked. What can be said or not, it is best to be silent.
The Old Book of Tang records such a story.
Liu Wenjing, a meritorious official of the Tang Dynasty, once had a disagreement with Li Yuan's favorite minister Pei Huan.
Once he and his brother said, "One day I will kill Pei Ning!" ”
In fact, he was just a drunken gaffe, and he was quick to speak for a while. Unexpectedly, it was overheard by one of Liu Wenjing's concubines and passed on to Li Yuan.
In the end, because of this undeserved word, he was convicted and killed.
There is also a story in the Biography of Zeng Guofan.
After zeng guofan conquered the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, he dominated the southeast and seemed to own half of the country.
At this time, Wang Minyun, a famous scholar of Xiangjiang, came to Zengfu, and he was bent on finding the Ming Lord and wanted to be a hero to the founding of the country.
After the meeting, he advised Zeng Guofan not to help the imperial court, but to support the army and respect himself, take the opportunity to stand on his own, and ask Zeng Guofan to take Han Xin as a lesson for the future.
Zeng Guofan saw that Wang Minyun was talking endlessly, but he always smiled and said nothing.
Just dipping my fingers in the tea on the table, I saw a series of words written on the table"
absurd
At this time, Wang Minyun suddenly realized that he had almost committed a big taboo.
In "Zhou Yi", there are clouds: the words of the Ji people are widowed, and the words of the manic people are many.
Every word you say represents your thoughts.
Once you say the wrong thing, whether the speaker is unintentional or the listener is intentional, it is easy to let yourself get into trouble.
According to the "Saying Garden. According to the Book of Respect, when Confucius visited the Taimiao Temple where the Zhou Kings worshipped their ancestors, he saw a bronze man standing on the right side of the steps, but his mouth was pierced with three seals.
On the back of this bronze man is engraved a line: "Ancient prudent words also." ”
This greatly shocked and inspired Confucius, and taught his disciples with "three silences".
Throughout the ages, those who are silent and self-protective have great wisdom.
When talking to people, you must speak carefully and carefully, and you must not speak lightly.
02
Act with caution and regret less.
In the "Spring and Autumn of the Lü Dynasty", there is a saying: "You must not do anything, and if you go to a deep stream, although you have no regrets." ”
This means that before acting, you must think carefully, and if you act recklessly, you will only bring regret and remorse to yourself.
Xu Pu, the first assistant minister of the Ming Dynasty, was strict with himself throughout his life.
He put two bottles of beans on his desk, reminding himself to be cautious.
Whenever you do something right, you throw a soybean into the bottle, and if there is any mistake in the opposite behavior, you throw a black bean into another bottle.
These two bottles of beans reminded him to think twice, and over time, the soybeans accumulated more and more, and the number of black beans barely changed.
In life, if we can think about many things before doing things, the final "consequences" will not be delusional about those unrealistic "ifs" after the fact.
In the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, there are two stories.
In the twenty-fourth year of Jian'an, Liu Bei, in order to avenge the Wu state's capture of Jingzhou and Guan Yu's killing, prepared to set off immediately and lead a large army to attack the state of Wu.
At that time, Zhuge Liang had a far-sighted plan and advised him to think about the overall situation, and the most important thing at the moment was not to avenge his personal vendetta, but to bear the burden of humiliation and bear the burden of humiliation first, and to unite with Wu to resist Cao.
However, Liu Bei was overwhelmed by anger at that time, and he decreed that in the future, whoever dared to stop the Wu cutters would be beheaded, and although the Qunchen knew that this act was less auspicious, they did not dare to advise him again.
Sure enough, due to the expedition of the Shu soldiers, the supply was difficult, and it was impossible to make a quick decision, plus after entering the summer, the weather was hot and morale was low.
Later, in order to escape the summer, Liu Bei set up camp in the mountains and forests, who knew that the Wu general Lu Xun saw the opportunity and burned the camp for seven hundred miles, and finally Liu Bei was defeated and died of illness in the White Emperor City.
Five years after Jian'an, Yuan Shao prepared to raise an army to attack Cao Cao.
At that time, his adviser Tian Feng dissuaded him, saying that Cao Cao was good at using troops, the changes were endless, and it was not to be taken lightly, and it was best to stand still and fight protracted and guerrilla warfare with Cao Cao.
However, Yuan Shao was too eager to succeed, and as a result, Cao Cao seized the opportunity to raid the granary that Yuan Shao had placed in Wuchao, causing Yuan Shao's army to suffer a crushing defeat at the Battle of Guandu.
There is a saying that impulse is the devil.
The success or failure of a person's life, gains and losses and right and wrong, do not lie in the brilliance of the moment, once or twice with the will to do things, you can make you fall short.
Therefore, think twice about everything, do not be reckless, do not be rash, do not take it lightly, so that you can not fall into the predicament.
03
Shin-Doku, peace of mind.
In "The Mean", there is a cloud: "Mo sees hidden, Mo is microscopic, so the gentleman is cautious and independent." ”
A person's character depends on what he says and does in the most subtle, most hidden, and least easily detected.
Xu Heng, a university scholar of the Yuan Dynasty, once passed through Heyang in the middle of summer, and because of the long distance, he was very thirsty, and there was a pear tree on the road, and everyone rushed to pick pears to eat.
Xu Heng sat alone and upright under the tree, safe as usual. Someone asked him why he didn't eat it, and Xu Heng said, "If you don't have it yourself, you can't take it." ”
The man said, "Now the situation is chaotic, and this pear tree has no owner." ”
Xu Heng said, "The pear tree has no master, and doesn't my heart have a master?" ”
Many times, when a person learns to be cautious, it is not to make others praise, but to make himself feel ashamed and blameless.
In the Qing Dynasty, there was an official named Ye Cunren.
He has been in politics for more than 30 years, willing to be indifferent and never take it.
Once, when he left office, his subordinates gave gifts in parting. In order to avoid people's eyes and ears, it was specially sent at night.
Ye Cunren returned the gift in its original form and gave a poem to the Prime Minister as a gift:
At midnight when the moon is white and the wind is clear, the flat boat is delayed.
Feeling the king's affection and returning the gift of the king, not afraid of others to know and fear themselves.
There is also such a story.
Zeng Guofan, a heavy minister in the late Qing Dynasty, never sought personal lust because of his high authority.
He was very fond of calligraphy, and during his tenure as governor of Liangguang, a county order gave him a copy of Wang Xizhi's calligraphy.
This book is the ancestral text of the Song Dynasty Chunhua Ge Ti, which is extremely precious and valuable. Zeng Guofan loved it, but later returned it to the county order unchanged.
And said: "I am over fifty years old, and it is my blessing to see such things, but I cannot stay." And wrote eight words in his diary that day:
“
The world's special things, do not dare to take it
。 ”
In history, whether it is for officials and politicians, or ordinary people, the most incapable thing is their own "conscience pass";
The most irresistible thing is the loosening of thought under the temptation of fame and fortune;
The most difficult thing to abide by is the consistent innocence and openness of people in the world.
Doing something wrong, thinking that God is unaware;
Violating principles and bottom lines, thinking that the sky is not known;
Acting righteously, misbehaving, thinking that you can hide your eyes and ears;
But the hardest thing to deceive the past is actually yourself.
Prudence is not to get a good reputation, but more importantly, to make yourself feel at ease.
▽
The brilliance of a person's life lies in a "cautious" word.
Be careful
, which can avoid disasters. The depth of the water is slow, and the people are expensive and late.
Proceed with caution
, but less regrets. A gentleman wants to be content with words, but sensitive to deeds.
Prudence
, can be at ease. How much of a weak heart is due to a lack of reverence.
Encourage your friends.