▎People's Sauce says:
There is more than one successful life, and we must strive to find the shining points in our children.
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01
On December 29, a mother in Beijing shared her parenting experience, which caused heated discussion among netizens, and the mother in the video said: She and her husband are both masters of 985 University, but under such good educational conditions, the son taught is a "scum".
"Your dad and I are both 985 masters, how did we give birth to such a son as you?" That's scum. ”
She said:
"Beijing is such a good educational resource, his school district has a 70% rate of one book, now don't say one book, even three books can't be tested, it's good to be able to mix high school graduation." Even if the study is not good, it is still a lever, and my husband is angry with the heart attack 2 times, and the quick-acting heart-saving pill is always prepared at the head of the bed.
I don't have any expectations for my child now, as long as he is safe, healthy and happy, there is no way you can only accept it. ”
Caused a heated discussion among netizens, and some netizens even said that seeing such an excellent mother who was helpless to her son's learning, my anxiety instantly reduced a lot.
02
Coincidentally, last year, Peking University professor Ding Yanqing's Douyin video of his daughter was also a hot search.
Professor Ding Yanqing was called a "prodigy" when he was a child, he was able to memorize the entire Xinhua Dictionary at the age of 6, studied at Peking University as an undergraduate, and then entered Columbia University for further study, obtained a doctorate degree in education, and is currently a doctoral supervisor and associate professor at Peking University.
His wife is also a high-achieving student who graduated from Peking University.
However, the daughter seems to have perfectly avoided the bully genes of the couple and run more and more off the road of "learning scum".
After tutoring her daughter with homework several times, Professor Ding experienced a transformation process from heartache, to doubting life, and then to stopping water:
"This is the Way of Heaven, there is no way, you must accept, what can you do if you don't accept it?" That's how she is. ”
Unlike other children, Professor Ding's daughter was raised from a young age, almost did not report any cram classes, and when she first went to primary school, she was thrown away by children of the same age, perfectly avoiding her parents' "bully genes", and even math also passed the countdown.
In this regard, Professor Ding did not jump to blame, but calmly accepted the fact that the child's grades were not so good.
When asked: "Can you accept your child, not as good as you, can't get into Peking University?" ”
Professor Ding said calmly and calmly:
"That's completely acceptable, that must be accepted, and there is a high probability that she will not be able to go to my school, 95% of them will not be able to go."
03
The existence of genius is only a very small minority, and the ordinary and ordinary children are the norm in the world.
Every parent wants their child to be born very smart, the only genius in the world. However, it has to be said that there are only a few geniuses, and ordinary talents are the reality of the vast majority of children.
Previously, netizens had extensive discussions on children's education. Many "parents of xueba" have said that they have encountered the educational problems of "xueba children". For example, a bully parent said that "two bully parents gave birth to a stupid child, and their desk was broken once", which shows the difficulty of children's education.
Therefore, it is understandable that parents want their children to have a good performance, but they should also realize that reading is really a matter of "talent". Some children are born easy to read, while others are born unable to learn this boring knowledge. Giving birth to a "gifted child" is really a very low probability event, and simply measuring the child's excellence by academic performance is neither comprehensive nor fair.
Every child is born with different characteristics. Some children may not have a talent for reading, but their interests are widespread and other aspects are prominent. Parents should try to find bright spots in their children, rather than holding their children's academic achievements alone, so they are disappointed in the complete denial of their children.
Although reading can really change a person's destiny, a successful life is different, and everyone's pursuit of the meaning of life is also different. If children can be down-to-earth, self-reliant, and live their own way, parents should also support rather than blindly force their children
Of course, this is not to say that learning is not important enough for children. Parents can relax in their children's education. Instead, they are trying to find the highlights of their children and help them become better, while also accepting the fact that children may just be ordinary people.
04
There are thousands of ways to succeed, if only good scores and good jobs can be considered success, then the world should be boring.
Measuring others by a single standard is short-sighted and lazy. Strive to find the shining points in children, and there is more than one successful life.
A few years ago, there was an article on the Internet that touched countless people.
The authors say she is a 985 master's degree, her husband is a 985 doctorate, she gave birth to a son at the age of 27 at the optimum childbearing age, and everything went according to plan.
However, after the children went to primary school, the situation gradually fell out of their control.
Even if they do their best, the child's grades are not going up, always in the class crane tail, but also because of the excessive pressure of learning, often cold fever, the fourth grade put on myopia glasses.
At this time, she reluctantly admitted that her son was indeed of average qualifications.
After letting go of her anxiety, she began to re-examine her son and found that he had too many advantages that she had overlooked.
My son loves to study cooking and can cook several decent meals at the age of 10;
The son has a kind heart, when he enters the door of the building, he sees someone behind him, and he will always support the door with his small hand, waiting for the people behind him to come in together;
The son is filial to his parents and knows how to understand the hardships of his parents...
Such a hard-working, sensible and kind child, in the future, will do an ordinary job in a down-to-earth manner, why worry about not having food to eat?
In the future, the child will finish a day's work, return to his warm home, and do his best to play the role of a good husband and father, and when his parents are sick, he will patiently take care of his companionship... Just grow up and grow old.
Children are born into the world through us, but they are not obliged to live in accordance with our expectations.
They come with their own missions, and they will go to the far reaches of their own.
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