Gorky once said, "Loving children is something a hen does." "This shows that loving one's children is an instinct of the animal kingdom!"
As parents, our love for our children is unquestionable, unconditional, and does not care about any costs and gains and losses!
However, in the education of children, parents often also in the name of love, with some utilitarian purpose, ask them to live as "other people's children", which is debatable!
Especially when children are studying, blindly ask children to strive for the upper reaches, must take the first, at least the top three or the top ten and so on.
If as an encouragement and encouragement to children, this is absolutely no problem!
The problem is that some parents have a certain utilitarian mentality and unrealistically demand that their children be "the best"!
For example, if you want to earn face for your parents, or think that your children will have a career in the future, you have the ability to support your parents, and even want to make up for your failures when you are young with your children's success!
If the child is indeed capable and very contentious, this is also understandable. But more children are backfire!
In this case, as parents and children are not living easily, everyone is under pressure, and life is not good!
In town, this situation could be even worse! Before the state introduced the "double reduction" policy and rectified the education and training market, many training institutions shouted the slogan of "don't let children lose on the starting line" and wantonly sold anxiety to parents, and the ultimate purpose of people is to let parents pay for their profits!
Some children themselves are already very good, more than ninety points on the test, parents still feel that the child did not have a full score and a lot of blame, but also let the child go to this class, make up that class.
As everyone knows, some children no matter how to make up, it is like this! It may even backfire, causing children to be overly nervous, in a long-term state of irritability and anxiety and unable to improve learning efficiency, unable to play their due standards normally, and even lead to a gradual decline in grades!
The more obvious side effect is that the emotions of parents and children are becoming more and more antagonistic!
The love of parents who hate iron and steel is indeed true, and even moves the heavens and the earth, crying ghosts and gods!
However, the child not only does not feel the love from the parents, but may also harbor resentment and even hostility!
Many parents are complaining that they have already poured out their lungs for their children, and they can't exchange their basic respect for themselves, even a vicious circle! Can the child be blamed for this?
To untie this dead knot, parents must first return to their normal mindset. You know, raising children and preventing old age is actually a product of the small-scale peasant economy. Families that used to focus on manual labor in rural areas needed stronger boys to help their parents with farm work.
And now the young and middle-aged people in the countryside have gone to the city to work, and even after finishing college, they have gone far away! The traditional concept of raising children and preventing aging has also collapsed!
There are also many reports that some children study abroad, and after becoming famous, they are no longer willing to come back to see their parents! The reason is simple, the pressure and hurt that children have been subjected to since childhood are really afraid! What about family feelings?
Therefore, although the child's support for the parents is an obligation, it is also a responsibility. However, often it really depends on the child's attitude!
Parents raising their children must not treat him as their own private property and dispose of him at will; but they must regard him as an independent individual and give him as much freedom as possible on the premise of making some necessary and appropriate regulations!
As long as the child does not learn badly, can maintain a peaceful and happy mentality to learn and do things, is the best state! At this time, improving efficiency is also a matter of course!
Only when parents really put down their mentality and posture with this concept, will they communicate effectively with their children and their children will be "obedient"!
The relationship between parents and children, it is best to get along in the way of friends, we will be peaceful and down-to-earth in our hearts, there will be sincere communication, and everyone will be relaxed and happy!