I remember that one of the parents of one of my online classes responded to many problems such as the child's lack of initiative in learning, poor hands-on ability, inactivity, and homework that could not be completed on time, and asked whether the child's parents needed to avoid, and the child said that he needed to avoid. In the one-hour communication with the child, the child has been crying and drooling, and the paper has been used a lot, which shows that there are too many grievances suppressed in the depths of the heart.
From the child's mouth, I learned that in reality, children do not have a friend, like to play escape and fighting games, often be beaten and scolded because of homework, parents often quarrel and fight because of trivial things, and often suffer from school bullying (neither tell the teacher nor do they want to tell the parents, want to retaliate and feel that the strength is not enough to endure all the time). Especially the children crying, why is something bad happening in the class, and the students first suspect me? Why don't they (their parents) work hard, but force the next generation to work?
This is a child with a serious lack of security and a very low self-confidence, who has been living with his grandmother until the age of eight, and his parents only received him when he was in the second grade of elementary school. After understanding the child's growth experience, after patient guidance, parents finally realized their own problems, and decided to start from repairing the parent-child relationship, adjusting their own education methods, finding an outlet for the child's emotions, and improving the child's self-confidence... Why are more and more children now dropping out of school, running away from home, and even giving up their lives? In addition to objective factors such as high learning pressure and long time in school, one of the most important reasons is that parents pay too much attention to their children's academic performance and ignore their children's psychological needs.
Teaching children to endure hardships and be strong from an early age, cultivating children's courage and perseverance, interpersonal communication, responsibility, etc., is really much more important than the grade! Depressed children generally have a very strict family atmosphere, parents are strong, can not tolerate children to express their true thoughts, or parents continue to argue, children's emotions are ignored, in fact, children are very kind, they are in a huge conflict, the heart produces great pressure, left and right.
Between their own ideas and their parents' expectations, between their parents' conflicts, between obedience and rebellion. In the end, I had to embarrass myself and attack my own body. Many boys fail to achieve the expected goals in performance due to their mother's high expectations and strict management, and their self-confidence will be frustrated in the exam and gradually lose interest in learning. But the mother did not notice the change in the child's mood, they only paid attention to the change of the child's test scores, completely disregarded the child's feelings, face, self-esteem, and constantly preached and nagged, resulting in the child becoming more and more passive and sensitive...
Don't know if moms found out? Men with successful careers in society rely not only on diplomas and prestigious school backgrounds, but also on raising boys with a longer-term vision, so as to avoid children becoming "nerds" who only know how to learn and are unwilling to communicate with others! What's more, some children not only lose the initiative to learn, but even choose to run away from home, and a persecution by a parent will only ruin the child's future, which is not a wise move after all!