Ying said| [Emotion 3] How can a child's tantrum help his parents?

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At the moment when he lost his temper, in fact, we asked him why, and the children could not know. Nor can it tell us the real reason why he was angry, he wasn't happy, he lost his temper.

Because the stone in this backpack, even if it is the last small one, to dry this small stone on his body will cause him to finally explode.

So what exactly should Mom and Dad do? 、

The most important thing we need to do is to be able to calm the child down as soon as possible.

How? We can hold him, we can touch his back, we can kiss him. At this time, don't ask why, and don't accuse him of what's wrong with you, because it will only make him more sad.

At the same time, don't beat him, because this will only make him learn to say that I have strength, I have more strength, I win, then I will win, this is not a good example. So calming the child down is the first step, and then we can talk to him about his feelings. Let him see that you are particularly angry now and express this emotion in our words.

Only then will the child be able to realize what kind of situation I am in now, and he will be able to begin to understand that it is now an emotional event.

Then we can also share our feelings with him, we can tell him that you are suddenly crying and making a lot of noise, and ask your mother to throw a clean bath towel on the ground. Mom was confused, or rather Mom was angry.

Later, if through the previous links, the child can calm down, we can talk to him. What just happened, or what happened to baby today? Mom came back so late today, there's no way to pick you up, you must be upset.

When we can sort out some of the previous events according to our guesses, the children may slowly understand why I am angry.

You see the kids can't tell us because so much is going on in 1234 today, so I'm angry. So asking why asking such an open question is useless, which can only make the child more distressed, more annoyed and angry and unable to answer. Why would he be even more angry.

So what we can do at this time is to ask some closed-ended questions.

For example, as I just said, your mother didn't come to pick you up today, you are very angry, aren't you? Or maybe mom didn't come to pick you up and you're a little disappointed aren't you? Mom came back so late today, didn't accompany you to dinner, didn't tell you a story, you're a little angry with mom, aren't you? Is it a question like this, the child will answer very well.

Like this baby is now three years old, if we can give him some emotional management guidance from the age of three, then maybe by the time he is four years old, by the time he is five years old, he can come and tell us, Mom, you came back so late today without playing games with me, I am really sad.

At this time, our baby already has the ability to feel his emotions, identify his emotions, and express them, and can also capture the reasons for it relatively accurately.

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The text is affectionate and warm, dismantling the psychological knowledge in parenting in an easy-to-understand way. Let's know ourselves, let's know our children; let's start loving ourselves, and then we can love our children well.