The social relationship between people and people is affected by many aspects, such as: emotional value, interest relationship, circle distance, living and working environment, etc.
Some people are able to be friends with you, some people work with you every day, and you have very little communication.
When we are social, we often feel "lonely" and always feel that we cannot fit into this group, which is a normal phenomenon.
This feeling arises when we find that we have no common topic with others and cannot have emotional resonance.
Have you experienced such a scenario in social interaction?
Everyone was talking and chatting happily, and as soon as you appeared, everyone tacitly chose silence, and instantly became quiet.
At that moment you just feel embarrassed and think, "Did I do something wrong?" Why is it that everyone has just been so lively, but now they suddenly stop talking? ”
Such an experience is the "embarrassment" in adult social life.
When we encounter something like this, how do we do it?
-01
Why is it that as soon as you show up, everyone is quiet?
First: Being isolated by those around you
One of the main factors is that you are being isolated by the people around you that you didn't realize before.
What does it feel like to be isolated?
It's probably: there are many people around you, but you feel like you're alone; there's no communication with everyone, and even if you want to communicate with others, you won't get any response.
When the people around you isolate you, the most obvious manifestation is silence.
When you were away, everyone talked and laughed, and the atmosphere was once very harmonious; and after you appeared, everyone became silent, did not talk much, and no one responded to the topic you raised.
You just think that the air is filled with "awkward atmosphere".
There are many reasons why a person is isolated by the people around him, and I have mentioned specific reasons in the article before.
When you are isolated by the people around you, it is difficult to change this situation in a short period of time; the only thing you can do is to constantly regulate your emotions from the inside and make them stable.
Second: Say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing
For example, if you work in a company, there are a few colleagues on a team.
And when you appear, everyone is silent, perhaps because you have done something wrong and caused losses to everyone, and a certain sentence you said wrong has aroused the disgust of others.
The silence they show is another form of "punishment" for you.
Psychology believes that the best punishment for a person is not physical punishment, but spiritual punishment, such as indifference.
Whatever he did, he didn't judge, and whatever he said, don't respond.
Over time, he will become more and more depressed in loneliness.
Man is a "social animal", once he cannot establish normal communication with the people around him for a long time, then his emotions will gradually become irritable and depressed.
If in your environment, as soon as you show up, everyone becomes silent; first try to reflect on whether you did something wrong or said the wrong thing.
-02
When we are excluded by the people around us, do we want to fit in?
Psychologist Maslow believes that establishing an emotional connection with others can make us feel that we are "needed" and is a person's deep and advanced needs.
Building friendships, love, socializing with different people, these are all ways we get along with the outside world.
But what do we do when we perceive that we are being isolated, excluded, and unable to fit into the circle around us?
First: Adjust your mindset
No matter what state you are in, no matter what environment you are in, you can't mess up your feet; if your heart is chaotic and your mentality is uneven, then the rest of your life will only get worse and worse.
The first thing you have to do is to constantly comfort yourself and persuade yourself that everyone is unique, and since we can't fit into this circle, try to contact another circle.
Everyone's needs for social interaction are different, and perhaps you and the people in the circle you are in at the moment are not "all the way".
They have their own pursuits, and you have your own ideas as well.
Knowing this, you can face your surroundings with a normal mind.
Second: Share it with others or jump out
Do you have friends? Even if a person is not popular, there will be a few friends around who can share their feelings.
Share your current predicament with your friends and find a mouth to pour out your negative emotions, and you will feel a lot more comfortable.
If the current environment makes you unbearable and causes great trouble to your work, life and emotions, then the best choice is to take the initiative to jump out.
Being excluded by others, we first look for problems from ourselves, try to change and still can't make up for it, then we have to take the initiative to leave.
After all, when we take the initiative to correct ourselves and still can't fit into the group, it means that the group is not so suitable for you.
People are like this, correcting themselves while blending into different circles.
You can't always close yourself off and you can't fit yourself into every circle; so it's important to find a balance in it.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever been excluded?
(Article with picture source network)