Sauce Purple FM | cherish those nagging of her mother

Mother's nagging, I sometimes listened, but mostly when the wind blew in my ears. At this moment, I want to gossip and nag with my mother, but...

Produced by Sauce Purple FM

Anchor | Yangcheng Evening News all-media reporter Hui Tianjiao

He returned to his hometown of Wuhan again to visit his paralyzed and bedridden mother. This visit is not so much joy as it is torment and pain: the mother can no longer speak, nor does she know my eldest son.

A few years ago, I found that my mother had Parkinson's disease, saw the disease several times, and the condition did not alleviate much, and also found that she had Alzheimer's disease. A hand that used to have a beautiful hard pen became difficult to hold chopsticks, and it was up to someone to feed her. At first, when I went home, she could still walk and know people. Watching me come back, trying to get close to me, trying to talk to me, but unable to say a complete sentence, she burst into tears. After the outbreak of the new crown epidemic in Wuhan, I was trapped at home and did not dare to cross the thunder pool. Although she was not infected with the virus, her illness took a sharp turn for the worse, almost becoming a vegetative person.

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After my mother gave birth to me and my eldest brother, I always wanted to have another daughter. Because she felt that her son was not intimate and did not like to listen to her nagging, she decided to have another intimate little cotton jacket. When I was 12 years old, my mother gave birth. Unexpectedly, she gave birth to two younger brothers (one of whom died less than a month later), which was the biggest regret in her life.

In the 1970s, his parents were transferred from Guangzhou and Wuhan to a third-line factory in Jiujiang, Jiangxi. My eldest brother and I stayed in Wuhan and lived a life under the fence. Because I was the eldest, my mother began to write to me. At first, I was more curious about my mother's letters, and I read them carefully, although the words on the letters were not fully understood, but I could basically read them. After the third letter, my interest began to wane, and I felt that the content in it was much the same, mainly obedience, don't be late for class and leave early, eat breakfast in the morning, be diligent, and take care of yourself and your eldest brother.

The next year, my eldest brother transferred to school with his parents, and I felt even more lonely. The mother was more diligent in her letters, and the beginning of the letter was only "Guang'er", and there was no "Gang'er" (the name of the eldest brother). It is still the nagging that makes me sensible and obedient, I don't like to read it anymore, and I want to spit out the bitterness in my heart to my mother, but my cultural knowledge is limited and I can't express it in words. Later, I finally wrote a letter to my mother, saying that I was going to go to them in a rocket. My mother understood my thoughts and took me back to Jiangxi just after the summer vacation. I transferred to my parents' side for the second grade of junior high school, and my mother didn't have to write to me to nag, but instead of direct nagging. Mother's nagging, I sometimes listened, but mostly when the wind blew in my ears.

Later, I went to distant Xinjiang to serve as a soldier. The mother resumed the tradition of writing letters and nagging, what to listen to the chief, to make a good relationship with comrades-in-arms, to overcome the discomfort of eating habits, to pay attention to antifreeze, and so on. Mother's nagging, in my opinion, is either useless nonsense or untargeted. Because she had never been to Xinjiang at all, she was not familiar with the army. But when I see my mother's letter, especially the word "Guang'er" at the beginning, a warm current still flows through my heart.

Transferred from the Great Northwest to Guangzhou, due to the relatively close distance with Wuhan, the parents are more convenient to communicate, the mother writes fewer letters, and uses telephones and mobile phones to nag me every five minutes.

A few years ago, my mother's only sister died, and my mother's condition worsened, her body stiffened, and her back hunched more than mine. By this time she had lost her ability to write and spoke incoherently, but she was able to communicate in simple language. A year later, her only brother also died of illness. Since then, she has walked unsteadily, needs someone to help her, and can only spit out a few words in her mouth...

Looking at my mother, who was paralyzed in bed, I called out to her and shouted at her, hoping that she would respond. But she looked at me expressionlessly, her eyes wandering and unfocused. Sometimes, she squirmed, not knowing what she was trying to say or whether it was an instinctive bodily reaction. At this moment, I want to talk and nag to the mother who gave birth to me and raised me. Cruelly, the mother is still alive, but she lives like an empty shell. I am deeply sorry that when she can still nag, I ignore her presence and don't bother to listen to her nagging... I want to cry without tears. (Yangcheng Evening News, December 7, 2021 A11 edition)

Source | Yangcheng Evening News

Edit | Wooden words

Proofreading | Zhou Yong

Audit | Shum Jay Chang

Issue | Sun Chaofang