Text | Yi Zen · Sound | Zhi Han
In this life, each person has a ferry port and a return boat.
Along the way, everyone has to experience a lot of heartache, grievances, and loneliness alone.
So we all long to find someone to support each other and spend the long years together.
But even if the relationship is good and intimate, we must always maintain a heart of awe.
Because the longest relationship has always had a clear bottom line.
Do not interfere too much with the other side
There is a topic on the Internet:
"How important is it to be measured?"
A high praise replied:
"Everyone has their own experience, and if you can't empathize, at least don't interfere."
Indeed, there are insurmountable boundaries in any relationship.
Maintain a certain sense of proportion, know what to say and what not to say, what can be done and what cannot be done, and the relationship will be longer.
There is a saying in Gibran's Prophet:
"Stand in one place, but not too densely, for the pillars of the temple are also separated on either side, and the oak and the pine do not grow in the shade of each other."
Deeply.
The most comfortable state in the relationship is that it is intimate and intermittent, and there is a certain sense of breathing when they are warm to each other.
Just as the strings are parallel, each makes a different sound, keeping a proper distance, you can play a good melody. Conversely, if they are entangled, they cannot be played.
Therefore, even the closest lovers need to leave some freedom for each other. Consider the other person's feelings and whether to give way to their own boundaries.
As Schopenhauer said:
"People, like hedgehogs in the cold winter, are painful if they get too close, and they are cold when they are too far away."
Maintain a proper sense of boundaries, and have a sense of security.
We're together, but I'm still me, you're still you, and that's the best reverence for feelings.
May we all find the most suitable sense of proportion for each other in our feelings, tepid and not hot, plain and long-lasting.
Not overly dependent on each other
In "The First Half of My Life", when Luo Zijun just divorced Chen Junsheng, he was busy and overwhelmed.
Because she used to rely too much on Chen Junsheng, so that after this person left, it was difficult for her to start a new life.
On the other hand, Luo Zijun's girlfriend Tang Jing, after breaking up, can face it calmly, quickly cheer up, and live herself in a new career.
This sense of security does not come from having a lot of money or having someone who loves you deeply.
But even if you have nothing, even if no one loves you, you still have the ability to love yourself and others.
A person who does not depend on anyone must have enough strength in his heart to resist the unknown.
Because there is enough sense of self-identity and security, the inner feelings flow abundantly and abundantly, so that they can love others and love themselves.
Tolstoy said:
"We love each other as equals because we know each other and respect each other."
Life is difficult, no one will always pay for you, your life, except for yourself, no one can fully bear.
Those distant places you want to go to, dreams that you want to achieve, pinned on others, are always unrealistic.
Only on your own, you will never lose.
The best love is not that there is a person who is willing to say to you that I will raise you for the rest of your life, but that you will do your best until one day you meet the person who is equal to you, who can achieve each other and rely on each other.
I hope that you can find a reliable partner in this life, and you can also find an independent and strong self, so that you can not be alarmed even in the storm.
Don't speculate on each other
There is such a story:
A fierce clash broke out between the lion and the tiger, and in the end, both sides were defeated.
When the lion was about to run out of breath, he said to the tiger:
"If you hadn't taken my turf, we wouldn't have been like this."
The tiger said in surprise:
"I never wanted to take your turf, I always thought you were going to invade me."
Many times, misunderstandings come from incomprehension, contradictions come from non-communication, and misses come from distrust.
The same is true in relationships.
As a passage on the Internet:
"When a lot of couples quarrel and get into trouble: the logic of one side is: 'If you love me, you won't go.'"
The logic of the other side is: 'If you love me, you will come to me.' '
Then the story goes on.
It's not that I don't love, it's that I thought you understood me, but unfortunately you didn't. ”
Get along, expensive in the word comfortable, everything is not too interpreted, the heart has the initiative to communicate, in order to make this relationship more long-lasting.
Therefore, don't secretly speculate about each other, don't be affected by external voices, and don't refuse to say a word to the other party until your own world has been chaotic and turned upside down:
"Let's talk.".
Even the best feelings require words, need communication, and many things are lost by not asking questions.
Timely communication can better understand each other and enhance their feelings for each other.
The longest-lasting feelings, no excessive interference, no excessive dependence, and no secret speculation.
May you be in awe of your feelings for a long time, may you be well for the rest of your life, and that all the people you love can always be with you.
Life is long, and love knows no bounds.
Author: Yi Zen
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