Recently, the Jian Ye court handled a dispute arising from improper family education methods.
Mr. Mao, a PhD graduate, and Ms. Zheng have a pair of children, the son is 7 years old, is in primary school, and the daughter is 5 years old, in kindergarten.
The seemingly happy family of four broke out into contradictions because of their father's way of education. Dad is eager to teach his son and daughter about middle school and university, so that young children can start learning literature and higher mathematics too early. When the child behaves badly, Mr. Mao will abuse and sometimes beat up, and the two children often have to learn until late at night.
Wife Ms. Zheng can not see her husband's education methods, but she can not help her husband, she has sought the help of the public security police, the women's federation, and school teachers, but Mr. Mao refused to repent and never realized his mistake. In desperation, Ms. Zheng applied to the court to prohibit Mr. Mao from restricting the personal freedom of his family and prohibiting Mr. Mao from beating and cursing family members.
After investigation, the court ruled that the wife Zheng's conduct in applying for a personal safety protection order complied with the law, and prohibited Mr. Mao from committing domestic violence against his wife, children and their relevant close relatives.
Ms. Zheng's approach is commendable, as a mother, she can finally use legal weapons to protect the physical and mental safety of her children. The husband, Mr. Mao, is incredible, and although he has a doctorate, the way he educates his children is indeed too tiger. His desire for his children to become talented is understandable, but his actions have brought a lot of harm to their children. Especially because he learns to scold the child, not only can not promote the child's learning, but also bring shadows to the child.
First of all, this kind of "seedling-raising" type of education itself violates the laws of science. Instilling knowledge from secondary schools and universities into children attending elementary schools and kindergartens violates the laws of cognitive development. Children's thinking ability needs to be gradually developed, except for a few geniuses, most children need to learn the knowledge points corresponding to the difficulty according to their cognitive ability at the corresponding age. Why is the difficulty of knowledge different from grade to grade? Why is it getting harder and harder as the grade progresses? These are determined according to the characteristics of the child's cognitive development.
Secondly, scolding education is harmful to children and has no benefit.
It can destroy a child's sense of security. In the process of learning, children are always worried that they will be punished, and they can't pay attention to learning, resulting in worse learning effects. An insecure child will suffer from gains and losses, and more problems will arise.
It can seriously affect the parent-child relationship. Scolding education makes children unable to feel the love and care of their parents, resulting in children not daring to be close to their parents, and for a long time, children cannot have an intimate connection with their parents. They lack trust in people and are afraid of the establishment of intimate relationships, which will adversely affect their later personality development and social interactions.
It destroys the child's internal drive. Children who learn in the scolding of their parents, the purpose of their learning is not because they like to learn, nor do they experience the joy and sense of accomplishment brought by learning, they only learn for their parents, in order to avoid punishment. It is difficult for them to have a real interest in learning, and they will also be bored with learning. Once out of their parents' control, they may give up learning altogether.
It will give the child a bad example. When children encounter difficulties, parents do not understand and help children, but scold. Doing so only allows the adult to release emotions and has no meaning to the child's progress. Children will imitate the behavior of adults, and when they encounter difficulties, they will not face and solve problems, but will be manipulated by emotions. In the future, when encountering people who need help, it is difficult for children to have empathy and even treat others rudely.
I hope that this ph.D. dad can really realize his own problems, reflect and correct his improper education methods in time. Every child is an independent individual, and they should not be the machines for their parents to fulfill their wishes.
Even for the good of the child, parents can not fail to follow the scientific method, let alone trample on the child's personality.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio", welcome to pay attention to, like, comment, the article is not reprinted.