Author | Fan Deng Reading · Small deep
Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · If it rains
Interpret the trailer
Meet · Meet your unknown self in the book.
Good evening to all book lovers, welcome to the reading column "Encounter" produced by Fan Deng Reading.
Today, I would like to share with you the immortal masterpiece of Ibsen, the "father of modern drama", "Doll's House".
The book was once called the "Nineteenth-Century Women's Book."
The lives of the protagonists Nala and Helmao in the play have been constantly playing out in our lives for more than a hundred years.
There is a question online: how to evaluate Ibsen's "Doll's House".
There is a highly praised answer:
The reason why Nala and Helmou finally parted ways was not Helmau's hurtful words, but their way of getting along.
They are harmonious and warm on the surface, Nala is innocent and lively, intelligent and kind, has a look that makes others envious, and Haiermao has just become a bank manager and has a great future.
They love each other deeply and raise three cute and lively children.
In fact, their marriage has long been rifted, and separation has become inevitable.
Some people say that every marriage has its fate, and everyone's encounter in it cannot be felt by others.
We are not Nala and cannot feel her emotional journey, but from her marriage, we can always get a glimpse of the true meaning of marriage.
Good marriage, communicate with love
What exactly does a good marriage look like?
Someone said: "A good marriage must be two people who are interdependent, but independent of each other." ”
Deeply.
As a wife, Nala is willing to give everything for her husband, and she obeys her husband's words.
Haiermao became ill due to overwork and had a serious illness and had to go to the south to recuperate. As a result, Nala became the "pillar" of the family, taking on all the burdens alone.
In order to let her beloved recover as soon as possible, she dragged her family and moved to Italy.
But the days of carrying the burden of the family alone are not good, and every day is a torment for her.
She said to her friend:
"It was a really difficult time to deal with, when Eva had just been born, but we couldn't help but go out.
It was wonderful to talk about that trip, which saved Helmao's life, but the money was also spent a lot. ”
Helmao was too ill to make ends meet, so the family's food and drink fell on Nala's head, and she struggled to survive on the subsidies she earned by hand.
Coupled with the fact that Helmao also needs a lot of money to treat his illness, it is undoubtedly worse for Nala.
In order to treat Helmo's illness, nala, out of desperation, borrowed a loan shark with her husband's "nemesis" Kloxte and forged her father's autograph.
However, she did not confess to Helmau that the money was borrowed from Coloxtey, but lied that her father had lent it to her.
But the lie is a driftwood that will be washed off the coast sooner or later.
After recovering from his illness, Helmau became a bank manager and dismissed Croxster.
Kloxster, who lost his job, knew that Helmo valued fame and social status, and in order to retaliate against him, he revealed to Helmao about Nala's loan sharking and forging signatures, which eventually caused the husband and wife to separate.
Husbands and wives are partners who fight side by side, and in the face of difficulties, they should work together to solve problems head-on, rather than shouldering everything alone.
Communication and communication in marriage is also a process of exchange of ideas, which can not only convey their own meaning, but also better understand each other.
If you want a long-term marriage, you must be inseparable from the communication and collusion of husband and wife.
If the relationship between two people is at an emotional freezing point, in the long run, the distance will only get farther and farther.
Marriage requires emotional flow, and a little more patience with the partner to listen is the lubricant that sustains the marriage, and it is everyone's responsibility in the marriage.
Wrong marriage, stop loss in time
A netizen commented on Haiermao: He is a hypocrite with a straight face.
Before the incident, he had said to Nala:
"Nala, do you know that 'I' often hope that something dangerous will threaten you, so that 'I' will desperately sacrifice everything to save you." 」
Helmaeu's sweet words made the lying Nala feel guilty.
She thought that if the forged signature was passed on, she would commit suicide to save Helmau's reputation.
However, the lie was exposed, and Helmao also revealed his own nature.
When fame and lover were placed in front of Helmao, he weighed the pros and cons and revealed his original form.
He barked like a "mad dog" and insulted Nala as a "hypocrite," "a liar," "a slutty woman," and "a criminal."
He angrily accused Nala of:
"You have buried all my happiness in my life, and my future has ruined you."
To this end, he also announced that Nala was deprived of the right to educate her children, saying that in the future", "the children can no longer be handed over to you".
Nala did not dare to say these words from the mouth of the person who had been with her for 7 years, at this moment, she only had disappointment in her heart.
After a while, the servant brought another letter, the sender was also Croxster, and Helmao opened the letter in a panic, and after reading the letter, he immediately changed his attitude.
In his letter, Kloxte wrote:
"I'm very sorry, but I want to forgive you...".
Before he could finish reading it, Helmao burned the two letters and IOUs in a hurry, fearing that the scandal would spread out and affect his reputation.
Helmau, who had saved his reputation, had a smile on his face again and called Nala "baby".
However, Nala has begun to awaken.
After she recognized the true face of Helmao, she was not immersed in the beauty of the past.
She realized that Helmut was good to herself not out of genuine love, but that his beauty earned him a sense of superiority and a desire to control everything.
Before leaving, she took off the dance dress that Helmao had carefully selected for her and changed into civilian clothes.
The costume made her shine at the ball, but she would never wear it again.
Timely stop loss is a kind of sanity, a kind of ability, and more importantly, a kind of bravery.
Changed feelings, learn to let go, we can't lose our future because of the mistakes of others.
There is a saying in "Wise Men":
"When the break continues, it is chaotic."
Many people in life can't stop losses in time, because they are always unwilling and powerless.
I knew that I would be hurt if I continued, but I still couldn't get out, and eventually I spent my life in the fall.
Yaris once said: 90% of the pain in life comes from not knowing how to stop losses in time.
Learn to let go and stay sane in your feelings at all times.
In the face of injury in time to stop losses, meet rotten people and bad things do not entangle, always leave yourself room to retreat, in order to meet a better self in marriage.
In the relationship, first love yourself
Wilde wrote in "The Ideal Husband": Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Love is honey and arsenic, and we can't resist the desire for love, but we must also learn to love ourselves first and then love others.
Because we can leave anyone, the only thing we can't do without is ourselves.
A relationship, if you only know how to please each other, live your own life according to other people's preferences, and slowly live yourself as an appendage of others, the ultimate ruin is your own life.
Nala is unfortunate, she was born in a patriarchal society, and at the same time, she is lucky because she finally found herself.
Nala is especially fond of almond cookies, and every time she goes out to buy buyers, she buys herself some almond cookies.
However, when eating almond biscuits, she also carries Haiermao on her back, only because her husband does not agree to her eating sweets, and Nala will hide from Haiermao every time she secretly eats it.
Nala's friend came to help Nala sew clothes, but Washi asked to go to another room.
Because Helmao does not like to sew clothes, he thinks that the action of sewing clothes is not beautiful, he prefers embroidery, as long as Helmao does not like it, Nala will avoid it.
In Helmao's heart, Nala is like a small pet he has, he calls Nala "little squirrel" and "little bird".
When the difficulties came, Nala woke up.
She realized:
I am a person first and foremost, someone like you.
Running intimate relationships should always be focused on yourself, and if you expect others to be responsible for you, sooner or later you will be led by the nose, because never find answers in others.
Write at the end
Teacher Dai Jianye once said a passage:
Marriage is God's mess, there is no ideal marriage, if anyone wants to pursue the ideal marriage, then you beat the bare stick.
If love is a common experience that occurs between two people, then marriage is a repetition of this experience countless times.
There is no absolutely happy and complete marriage in the world, and we can only see its narrow side when we enter marriage, but marriage is not only this side, it also has its own shining point.
At first, we all entered into marriage because of hot love, and then we were trapped by chai rice oil and salt.
In this process, we must not only fight against the days of chicken flying and dog jumping, but also firmly control the course of life and be a wise person in marriage.
You can grasp love, but in the face of the injustice of fate, you can also retreat from the whole body.
Click "Watching" and encourage your friends.
Author | Small and deep, born to the heart, long to the sun
Column Director | Come slowly
Typography | Zheng to the north
Image | The pictures in this article come from the Internet, and are invaded and deleted
Music | World famous song