Children love to talk, and even say some nonsense, which may be a bad habit in the eyes of most parents. Sometimes I also try to correct my child's small problems in this regard.
Recently, a friend complained that his child had too much "nonsense", saying that his child would often "talk to himself" in the process of playing games, as if he was a small "talk", always talking non-stop, even if you did not pay attention to him at all; as long as he stayed in the same space with his child, his son would pestering her to say endlessly. Where to go, even the time she went to the toilet, from "100,000 whys" back to the origin of the universe, she doubted life. "Mom, guess what happened to me in kindergarten today?" "Mom, why do you say watermelon is called watermelon?" "Why aren't there any north melons?" "Mom, why can't the chicks fly?" ...... Friends say that they have been buzzing all day and are very annoyed.
Parents, do you also have such a distress, how much children can talk about?
If your child is also a small talker, then first of all, congratulations, which shows that the child is very happy!
Talking nonsense is a state of happiness
There are psychological research data showing that if a person is more than 90% of the nonsense, then the person must be very happy; if the person is less than 50% of the nonsense, then he is most likely not very happy.
In the past, we may feel that many occasions we should be quiet, especially on occasions like eating, the etiquette norms in traditional culture must not allow children to speak so much.
But now we find that our lives are getting faster and faster, and we are in a stressful environment every day. If you can't say a few words on a relatively casual occasion like eating, it actually affects the relaxation of our state. When we are always in a state of tension, it is actually difficult for us to achieve happiness.
So we have to maintain the chat status of the child's broken thoughts. Even if it's nagging about a non-topical content, we have to allow our children to do it.
Whether it is a child or a parent, we should keep the habit of talking nonsense, which can improve our overall happiness. So in order to help children improve their happiness, what needs to be changed is our own perception, not the child's behavior.
In addition, we also have to learn to see the advantages of children, such as children talk a lot, in fact, children who love to talk show that his mind is very active, he can notice a lot of interesting things. When the child is talking, the brain must be running rapidly, although sometimes it sounds illogical, but it contains the child's way of thinking, as a parent even if he does not understand what the child is saying, he should also listen patiently and "chat" with him according to the child's routine.
If necessary, show a waiting status
Sometimes children may talk about excitement, and it is easy to talk endlessly. If Mom and Dad feel that they really should arrange other things in time, we should also pay attention to the way to deal with it.
What we need to do is let the child feel that the parents are waiting for them, and perhaps a warm reminder "Baby, can we clean up the dishes together and continue to talk?" "To wake up the gushing child, we need to intersperse it with another important event."
The other extreme, of course, is the impatient stopping of parents, or even ordering their children to shut up. Such a treatment will only lead to the continuous loss of energy in our entire family, and may eventually lay the foundation for the rupture of the parent-child relationship.
So in the face of children, the best state for us parents is to show that waiting can be.
But if such behavior affects ourselves or the people around us, such as always talking about irrelevant topics in class, then we need to teach children some correct methods.
Train rule awareness
First of all, we must teach children to distinguish between different occasions, and then we must make rules for children, and different occasions have different requirements, such as eating and sleeping; such as raising your hand to speak in class, not talking about irrelevant topics. For example, when chatting with people, you must listen to others, and you can't interrupt others at will.
Of course, don't forget to set a time for your child to express freely, such as the time before going to bed every day, so that the child can say everything he wants to express and talk about. During this time, parents must listen carefully and respond positively to their children.
With such a time, the child's desire to express can be satisfied, and the child learns to wait, he knows that mom and dad want to listen to him, and I have time to express freely, so in other occasions he has more energy to ask for control of himself.
Through play, children learn to be quiet and learn to control themselves
For example, we can often play the game of "one, two or three wooden people" with our children. In the game, not only does the parent-child relationship be good, but also helps the child to exercise the ability to control himself little by little.
When we have free time in life, we should also actively talk to our children and be the first listeners of their nonsense. Then we can also set aside a time that is suitable for each other, which is used as "nonsense time", so that the time that cannot be left to talk nonsense cannot be entangled, and it is naturally distinguished.
We parents are always used to seeing their children's problems and thinking that the children are doing something wrong. But in fact, sometimes we often do not understand the logic behind the child's behavior, and it is easy to miss the pursuit of children's happiness. Try to give the child more room for free expression, and the distance between us can easily be further narrowed. Crap is not just crap, our joint efforts can make crap the most valuable opportunity for parent-child communication.