01
Someone said: "Family affection cannot be chosen, but friends can." ”
Family affection is a blood-linked feeling, and it is a "great gift" given to us by God. Once upon a time, we all believed that we relied on our relatives at home and our friends when we went out. At a certain age, you will find that those whose blood is dissolved in water are called relatives, and those who help each other are called friends, if not, it is better to go alone.
Although we are mixed in society, it is inevitable that we will have to deal with people and exchange interests, but we cannot confuse interests and feelings, but we are just accustomed to making a scene.
Feelings, like a cup of tea, from strong to light as water, just a few times to blend. In other words, after experiencing several injuries, you can see through the feelings.
Therefore, there is a kind of person who has no friends, does not care about family affection, but lives well. Such an attitude toward the world cannot be said to be good or bad, but can only be said to have its own taste and needs to be respected.
02
To look down on family and friendship is to maintain one's own nature and not be assimilated by others.
In the Three Character Sutra, it is said: "In the beginning of man, nature is good. ”
Xun Zi said, "The evil nature of this man will be treated with the teacher and then straightened out, and then he will be cured by courtesy and righteousness." ”
Two diametrically opposed statements that leave us confused. When a person is born, is he vicious or kind?
In fact, our nature is good, but the day after tomorrow may be infected by vicious things, so we must continue to learn, root out evil thoughts from the bottom of our hearts, and use moral etiquette to regulate our words and deeds.
When we complete the study, we will be able to have the ability to "not invade all poisons". Therefore, kindness is like a light that accompanies oneself throughout one's life.
If a person's side is mostly some deceitful relatives and friends, and some mercenary people, who have been looking at the tiger, then they must fiercely refuse to associate with them.
To be a human being, we must be like a lotus flower, out of the mud without staining, without branches or vines. Each lotus flower stands alone and is not involved with anyone.
Not destroying oneself because of the gains and losses of feelings, not being solitary and sociable because life is too lonely, is that one has the character of a lotus flower.
03
I have looked down on family and friendship, and have always been very self-disciplined, and I don't need others to restrain myself.
In ancient times, Mencius's mother moved many times in order to let Mencius have a good living environment. Finally, they settled next to the academy, and Mencius also entered the academy, learning etiquette and reading a lot of books.
Moving will make a person lose his original neighbors, and he will also be farther and farther away from relatives and childhood playmates. Mencius moved, and there is another meaning, that is, his mother used actions to restrain him and force him to love learning.
In real life, many middle-aged people have moved away from their hometowns and gone to different cities. Life began to drift from then on. I occasionally return to my hometown, and I rarely get together with relatives and playmates.
When you were a child, the people around you always restrained you in various ways. "This can't be seen, that can't be done, the others can't move..." Such words are to scare you and to guide you on the right path. When a person is out of the house, at any time, anything, you can only grasp it yourself.
When you get used to being alone, you will find that self-discipline is better than other discipline. As the saying goes, the more self-disciplined the more freedom.
The ancients said: "Things are clustered in groups, and people are divided into groups." "When you break off relations with your relatives and friends, it means that you are no longer infected, and you don't want anyone to tell you." The kung fu of prudence can be seen.
04
To look down on family and friendship is to dare to offend people and not to take the initiative to please anyone.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Yan Zi, a minister of the State of Qi, went on a business trip to the State of Chu.
The King of Chu asked him, "Do the people of qi like to steal?" They came to the Chu kingdom and did some unseemly things. ”
Yan Zi replied, "Great King, you listen to me." The citrus in the south is transplanted to the north, and the fruit becomes very sour. This is because the water and soil are not satisfied. The people of the State of Qi are all good people in the State of Qi, and when they arrive in the State of Chu, they will become bad, and it should also be a matter of water and soil. ”
When two tigers fight, there will be an injury. Yan Zi must have understood such a truth, but he did not bow his head, but used pungent words to make the King of Chu ashamed of himself.
It's really hard to interact with people and want to coexist peacefully all the time. Most people are accompanying you for a ride, or just at a certain time, they need to be mutually beneficial.
In order to safeguard their own interests and grasp their own lives, some people will be offended when they should be offended.
A person who dares to offend people will naturally stay away from relatives and friends. He always kept the good looks to himself, the smile to the well-meaning people, and the vicious people, even brothers and sisters, had to stay away.
Insist on kindness, with sharp edge, such a person, live very frankly.
05
It has looked down on family and friendship, narrowed the circle of communication, and life is more real and beautiful.
Some people liken circles to shells on the back of snails.
When a storm comes, the shell on the back can protect itself. However, such a shell will also make itself walk very slowly, as if there is a force, pressing on the body, pulling itself backwards.
The "crab effect" tells us that if you are a very good person, but you are mixed in a certain circle, then every time you act, you will be pulled by the people in the circle and quickly roll down from the heights.
People who really know how to live have been narrowing their circles, and at a certain time, they will not care about the size of the circle, nor will they deliberately use a certain circle.
No matter how much money is, no matter how much money is in the end, as long as the heart is strong and the life is full, it will not be afraid. Loneliness is also enjoyable. It's like a person in the night, admiring a vast starry sky and singing with the moonlight.
Drink as much as you want; take a casual drink; take a walk-and-go trip without asking anyone; go out with your loved ones and don't have an entourage; eat what you eat, decide for yourself, don't think about what others like to eat... Such a life should be what many people yearn for.
06
It is enough to know oneself in life, and if not, then be friends with yourself.
Gathering and scattering is a common thing, if you care too much, it is the end of "amorous always being ruthlessly hurt".
Therefore, I would like to congratulate those who have no friends and are willing to break off relations with relatives. Such open-mindedness and ease is the personality of a person, and it is also a sign that a person becomes stronger.
The rest of life is not long, how grateful to those who are good to themselves; those who pass by, do not look back; those who want to leave, let go in time.
People will grow old, and when the time comes, it will be very lucky to have a wife by their side.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.