Author/Pond Fish
A good friend spoke to me of her heart.
She once met a scumbag who, in a three-year relationship, exhausted all her expectations and enthusiasm. At that time, she thought that he was the kind of person she liked, but in the end, she found that she was only in love with an imaginary him. He wasn't that good, it was his own love that gave him an endless aura.
Now, she never took the initiative to mention him, always the look of no heart and no lungs, everyone thought she had walked out, she had forgotten. Occasionally someone says about the ex, she is still light and breezy, and even laughs at herself for being blind at the beginning, how can she look at such a person?
But in fact, she said, "I never forgot him." I just don't want to talk about him anymore, everyone is tired of listening. I also don't want people to call me stupid, and I have always been obsessed with such a scumbag. ”
I asked her, "What are you hard to forget?" Is he the person, or your own past efforts, do you understand it yourself? ”
She thought for a moment and said, "I can't say it either." I often reminisce about our relationship in the middle of the night, and when I think of the sweet place, I can't help but laugh, and I can't believe it, how could he be like that later? I can't connect these two people, but they are really one person. I often quietly assume that if he is the kind of person I like, how good it should be, there is no betrayal in our feelings, and we have always been firmly in both directions, then I think, I will be really happy. ”
However, the most feared thing in life is that if the word is two, nothing can be repeated, and those regrets that fall in life can only be the smoke clouds of the past.
People can only look forward at all times.
Who doesn't understand? However, if feelings can really be so rational, then there will not be so many stories of love in this world.
In her words, since he left, he has taken away all his expectations for the opposite sex.
So, having broken up for nearly two years, she has not been in love again, and she no longer has any enthusiasm to start a relationship again. She was afraid of being hurt, afraid of the bamboo basket hitting the water empty, afraid of all the efforts, in the end it was still not worth it.
The main thing is that she has stopped her heart and can no longer make ripples in any intimate relationship, no matter who it is, it cannot enter her heart.
She sometimes feels that she can not get married in this life, but when she thinks of her parents, she still feels that she must give them an explanation, and this married person, she feels that no matter who it is, the result is the same. However, as soon as she thought that if she really made up with someone she didn't love, which was irresponsible to both sides, she still couldn't take this step.
Therefore, her heart is hesitant and entangled.
I asked her, "If he comes back to you, would you still be willing to give him another chance?" She said, "No." We can't go back, and even if we go back, it's full of estrangement, and I can't continue to love him with joy as I did. Once that mentality collapses, it is impossible to build up again. ”
But to put him down, she couldn't seem to do it either.
She said: "Probably my personality is a person who can't afford to take it and can't put it down." After the separation, I was always afraid that he would live too well, afraid that he would like someone else, take another girl's hand, and say a vow about a lifetime, and I would have a mess, I didn't want to do this; but I was also afraid that he would not have a good life, and if he really did not have a good life, I would not be happy either. I can't tell what my mindset is. As long as I think about it a little more, I directly feel that the love thing is really not interesting. ”
Some people, that's it, from a rational point of view, you can see the direction and destination of two people's love, you also know that this person is not worth their own efforts, you have to look forward, to meet new people, is the real right way.
But it is such an unworthy person, but it may still occupy your thoughts after separation, make you haunt your dreams, make you tasteless, and make you no longer able to accept new people with an objective mentality.
Things in relationships have always been like this, especially those who have paid a lot in an intimate relationship and have been disappointed in the end, the easier it is to have an obsession in their hearts after separation. Unwilling or unwilling, anyway, this kind of obsession must be a kind of torment for oneself, a kind of willfulness and persistence that knows that there are tigers in the mountains and is partial to the tigers.
The more you give, the stronger this feeling tends to be.
People, ah, are always more inclined to remember the person who makes him cry and makes himself bruised, and the thoughts after separation are more painful, and the person who makes him laugh and feel happy is more likely to be relieved.
Two days ago, I saw a passage on the Internet, writing about the endless contradictions and entanglements of my thoughts after separation:
Over the years, her image in my mind has sometimes been extremely hateful, and sometimes it has become pure and incomparable. My love for her, in fact, has long disappeared, into nostalgia, pain, jealousy, sympathy, desire, continuous circulation, but not for a second, my feelings for her have subsided. Not a second.
This is the reaction that occurs when thinking of a person to the extreme.
Yes, with the passage of time, the original kind of love may have long ceased to exist, but as long as you think of the past, emotions will still be mixed with a lot of difficulties, pouring into the heart like a flood, you can't walk out, others can't go in.
Even this kind of emotion, many times will not weaken with the actual increase, some stubborn people, the longer the time, the clearer they can see, the more they may not be able to put down. I understand the truth, but I still let myself fall into the cage of the past. Generally speaking, the last such people are more obsessive people, and they are most serious about a relationship, and eventually eat themselves.
Seriousness is a good thing, but the so-called things must be reversed, and it is not advisable to be too serious. People who are too serious are often unable to face parting and new life after a relationship is over. If you are in love, don't be "too serious".
In the end, all we can do is be willing to gamble and lose.
Treat each other well when you're together, and if you really can't be together, you can only wave goodbye. If you keep fantasizing about the past, no one can pull you out. If you're always assuming something, you're always stuck in the past. Those who can't walk out, what can't get out is never the love of the other party, but their own hearts.
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