The crow has the meaning of feeding back, the sheep have the grace of kneeling milk, as the spirit of all things, when the parents are dying of old age, old to the point of uselessness or even become the so-called "burden", can they still be filial to their parents?
Young director Zhang Tao's low-budget, almost documentary film "Joy and Mourning" will give you the truest and cruelest answer.
The reason why the low-budget is almost documentary is because the actors in the film are non-professional actors, they are the women of the village of the mountain and the wilderness, and they interpret their own lives and the reality faced by the vast countryside.
The film won best picture and best director at the 10th First Youth Film Festival.
In Lunan Zhangzhuang, the 86-year-old Lin Guo clan has four sons and two daughters, and the children have their own families, which can be described as full of children and grandchildren.
When she was six or seven years old, both of her parents died; in her 30s, her husband died again, leaving six children up to 13 years old and at least 9 months old, and in the long and difficult days, no one knew the bitterness of the old man, who raised six children by begging.
The children have finally become a family, have their own lives, and have their own troubles.
To the elderly, children cannot be said to be filial piety, nor can they be said to be filial piety:
The eldest son and eldest daughter live in the city, they do not appear in the movie, although they rarely come home, but no matter what, every time the old man has something to do, he will send money.
For the elderly in their 80s, money has not made much sense, but compared to the second grandmother in the same village, there is no money to buy medicine when sick, and the son does not give a point, the old man is still a little comforted, and it is better than nothing.
The younger son's wife ran away, the younger son never returned, leaving a teenage son to follow the grandmother, for the elderly living alone, there is a half-eldest grandson, after school can be dangled in front of the eyes, not bad.
The second son is a small village teacher, the second daughter-in-law is a housewife, and after several of their children got married, they went out to work after giving birth to children, leaving a bunch of grandchildren to be cared for by them. Because of the proximity, you can also take care of the elderly.
The third son has good conditions, has a house and a car in the city, divorces and remarries and has a daughter, and the child has reached adulthood.
The young daughter who is married sells pancakes at a stall, the son-in-law guards a small grocery store, their son drives a big truck outside and runs long distances, the family saves money and food, and the biggest wish is to help the child buy a house in the city.
They are all ordinary people's homes and ordinary lives, but despite this, the old people are already very satisfied.
She lives alone in an old house, is in good health, likes to listen to plays and sing, and tries to clean herself up every day, and prays to the bodhisattva every day to bless the children with peace and security.
If the years are merciful, it flows quietly to the end of life, although it is bitter, but the old man who has experienced the vicissitudes of life will no longer be demanding.
But the cruelty of life is that it will certainly teach us in some way what is the red stripe that comes and goes without concern, as long as it lives long enough.
The transformation of the old man's life began with a fall.
Although the fall was not fatal, but at such an advanced age and suffering from cerebral thrombosis, it was obviously not suitable for living alone, even if there was a half-eldest grandson.
How to resettle the elderly, the two sons can not be questioned by the elderly: everyone pays together and sends them to the nursing home, and the money of the eldest son and the eldest daughter is sent.
According to the second son and second daughter-in-law, they were so busy that they could not have waited for a bunch of small ones and the old one, and this was not their mother alone.
The third son and the third daughter-in-law are naturally reluctant to live with the old man, although the old man loves to be clean, but compared with the living habits of the people in the city, it is still too far away, so he immediately echoed.
Although the daughter pities her mother, she is the one who is married, and the family is very poor, and she can't make it difficult to say a word for her mother.
Therefore, the second son made up his mind:
(You) can't be this home this time, listen to my arrangement, you have to go, you have to go, you have to go if you don't go!
He couldn't wait to pay the deposit, and as soon as Grandma Hu, who was seriously ill in the nursing home, died, he could immediately unload the burden of his mother.
No matter how reluctant the old man was to leave the home where she had lived for most of her life, but she was too old, too old to take care of herself, so old that even the children who grew up drinking her milk were disgusted, what else could she do but obey their arrangements and obey their wishes?
The old man proposed: before going to the nursing home, go to each family for a few days.
No matter how reluctant they were, the two sons could not refuse this small request.
If they realized that this was the last journey of a desperate mother in the world, would they be better for their mother?
No one knows.
We see only the real and realistic human heart:
The second daughter-in-law started the idea of the old man's old house, but this old house was reserved for the younger son, although he did not know where he was, nor did he know when he would be, or even whether he would return home, but in the mother's heart, it was all the flesh that fell from the body, and he always had to leave a corner of the place to live.
Therefore, the second daughter-in-law, who was squeezed by life and breathless, sprinkled her breath on the head of the old man who was weaker than her, and she openly and secretly pointed out that Sang scolded the locust, and the second son died without saying a word, allowing the second daughter-in-law to be a mean old man.
The old man with a dead heart went to the third son's house, and even so, before leaving, he still instructed his second daughter-in-law to take care of his body.
You have abused me a thousand times, and I still treat you as you always have. No one else in the world can do it except his mother.
Different from the fierce verbal violence of the second daughter-in-law, the cold violence of the third daughter-in-law's various dislikes makes the old man feel like a needle.
In particular, the daughter of the third son, --- granddaughter of the old man, decided to go against her parents' wishes and go out to run away, and the two angered the old man and took the opportunity to drive the old man away.
The old man came to the little daughter's house, after all, it is the daughter, although life is difficult, or try to let the mother eat and live comfortably, because for the old mother who is disabled by the wind candle, the coming day is not long, and there may be no future.
But the son-in-law didn't think so.
To tell the truth, the son-in-law is not bad, but the face of life is too vicious to tolerate a little tenderness.
Finally, the old man's cerebral thrombosis recurred, urinary and urinary incontinence, limited mobility, suffered from "laughing disease", and even crying and laughing were confused.
None of the two brothers came to visit the old man, nor did they want to pay for it, and they also said the next sentence: Who cares if they are sick in whose house.
The three families mingled together.
The movie starts from here, and every time the old man is confused and heart-wrenching, it makes me cry.
The cruelty of life is: I have done all the promiscuity, you still have to accompany the smile, you don't even have the right to cry.
The daughter even asked the old man bitterly and helplessly:
Mother, you want to die, right?
The old man lowered his old head, his silver hair like snow, and was silent for a long time before he whispered:
If you don't want to die, you have to die.
How hard it takes to be so obedient to fate!
The daughter's only son died of drunk driving, and the old man could not and did not want to stay in his daughter's home anymore.
A circle down, all the bitterness and ruthlessness of the world, for the old man: this trip should see the people who should see, she should go.
Because Grandma Hu of the nursing home did not die, the old man returned to his old house again.
Only this time, the old man has no place to live, the second son has dominated the old house, and the old man can only live in the door opening with ventilation on all sides.
Later, borrowing the laughter of the old man, the second son and the second daughter-in-law put the old man who had no ability to fight back and sent her to the cowshed.
After a lifetime of hard work, she ended up sweeping out of the house, sheltering in the cowshed, accompanying her only the lone lamp of the long night, only the sad song of the old cow.
Since then, the dialogue between the old man and his son and daughter-in-law has only one sentence:
My son, did the nursing home write?
Is it the elderly who change their minds and look forward to going to a nursing home with food and drink?
Of course not, when she knew that she would be wronged by the white eyes and insisted on going to live in her children's house, she had already made up her mind to die.
When the letter from the nursing home came, she should go, this is her last love and dedication to her children.
The second son asked her:
Mother, do you hate me?
The old man smiled miserably:
Talk a lot, my son.
For the mother, how can you hate your own children? She just hated this unjust fate, she just hated herself for living too long to see the sadness that she shouldn't have seen.
She gave all the few jewels on her body to her daughter-in-law and granddaughter-in-law, and she left a stitch and thread of insoles to every family.
She slowly brushed her hair, slowly washed her face, slowly took out the half-broken mirror, took a picture of her past and present lives, slowly touched the "family portrait" that she could not take away and did not want to take away, once again and for the last time asked the bodhisattva to bless her child, and slowly took out the rat poison that had been prepared long ago...
Since then, all the dust has been gone, and the love and sorrow of the world have nothing to do with her.
In this life, she has tried her best, she has not done anything wrong, if she must be counted, it should not live too long.
Dying at home at a high age is considered a happy and mourning in the countryside.
According to the rules, funerals are held, stages are set up to sing, gags are played, warblers are sung and danced...
Even if the old lady has a spirit in heaven and looks at the glamorous rays on the stage, she will not be sad or happy: old and not dying is for thieves, and old age is perfect for death.
Sending away the elderly and unloading the burden is indeed a happy event for children and grandchildren.
Keigo Higashino once said:
There are two things in the world that cannot be looked at directly, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart.
The human heart, including the hearts of the most intimate lovers and loved ones.
Only the old man who has a happy life and a happy life, the old man who died peacefully, is considered to be happy and mournful, and the death of Lin Guo's family is only the last love and fulfillment of an old and useless mother.