Big Bull Busy Emotional Analysis Series
Keywords: woman, off-order, mate selection
Article length: 3300 words
Original articles, plagiarism must be investigated
The other day, I saw 2 sentences like this: Women are over 35 years old, if they are still unmarried and married, they will live a good life alone, cherish fate, lower their mentality, and don't fantasize too much. Youth has gone through most of the time, in the days to come, the four words of "talking about marriage and marrying" will appear more and more insincere, but like a bargain...
Do you agree with this "age determines the sincerity of marriage" statement?
Time is limited, and this article is a short argumentative essay.
There is a view that:
If a woman wants to love with value, she must prefer to be absent rather than indiscriminate. Love can wait slowly, not afraid of missing out again and again, afraid of compromise in advance.
As long as the original intention is not chaotic, you can always wait for Prince Charming, when to get married is not too late, age is not a problem...
There is a clear logical flaw in this view, if you wait until the age of 80 to wait for the right man, and look back to find that others have already embraced great-grandchildren, is it too late? Does the original wait still make sense?
There is also another view that:
At the best age, it's time to do the most appropriate thing. Missing the golden age of marriage and cherishing the golden age of women are different in every aspect.
As you get older and more experienced, love will always depreciate, and marriage will gradually become a trade-off. Even if you say the name of "marrying for love", it is not as sincere as when you are young and simple...
There is also an obvious loophole in this view, marriage is the recognition of both husband and wife, whether the marriage is sincere, the husband and wife accept it, as long as they are willing, it is sincere.
Which view do you agree with?
First, in the face of marriage, some love is a dream
For women, 35 years old is still unmarried, is it a little late?
This requires exploring the question of the will of the individual in psychology.
If a woman has not been able to wait for the right man, dare she dare to wait until she is 80 years old?
If you don't have this determination, do you have to give up waiting and marry in a hurry?
If you are in a hurry to marry, why wait in the first place? Will you regret it, dare to admit that you have looked up to yourself, and thus delayed a good year?
From a life perspective, it is of course possible to get married whenever you want. As long as both parties are willing, even if it is really 80 years old to get married, it is indeed not too late, long live understanding.
But from the long-term perspective of the relationship between husband and wife, the greatest meaning of marriage cannot be avoided from the original dream, which has nothing to do with understanding, otherwise it would have been married a long time ago.
Some people, after waiting for decades, finally can't afford to wait and have to turn around and marry reality. May I ask, what is the significance of this marriage, and does it violate the original intention of "preferring to be lacking rather than indiscriminate"? If you go against your original intention, then why marry?
I once heard a colleague's sister say such a sentence about marriage and love: people become old spirits, trees become demons, flowers are the most charming in spring, and love is only beautiful at the beginning.
It has to be said that this is a universal fact. In the late autumn, if you want to pick a spring flower, you can only have it in your dreams, but no one will live in your dreams.
After reading a thousand things in red dust, it is always said that it is inappropriate, and when it is inappropriate to say more, love unconsciously becomes a story.
A person who misses the best years and wants to say "I believe in love" sounds like a dream to others.
Someone once said that 35 is probably the last chance for most women to get married.
In the general sense of life, this statement makes sense.
The woman is 35 years old and unmarried, and it is indeed a bit late. If you don't have enough "talent", it is really easy to panic.
After the age of 35, only a few women who persevere, really wait for "Prince Charming", and are happy after marriage, are qualified to say that age is not a problem, after all, they really waited.
Those women who did not wait for "Prince Charming" in the end, it does not matter if They waited for a game, if they finally married in a hurry, it would be more embarrassing.
Second, women, can not take experience as talent
Life tells us that this kind of embarrassment has become common in marriage.
In the eyes of most people, women have 3 treasures: youth, talent and appearance.
Under normal circumstances, the 25-year-old you must be younger, more beautiful and more attractive than the 35-year-old.
There is an indisputable fact: at the age of 25, when you were young and looking like a day, you did not attract Prince Charming, and after the age of 35, do you dare to fantasize that the "one-handed" Prince Charming is foolishly in love with you?
Life is realistic, and Prince Charming is not a fool.
To put it bluntly, if women do not improve their talents and blindly wait, the older they are in the future, the fewer choices they will have!
This is what the saying goes, the heart is thinner than the sky and the fate is thinner than the paper, and the road is narrow when walking.
Women whose roads are getting narrower and narrower, of course, can't talk about talent, they can only talk about experience, talk about youth, and talk about appearance.
Therefore, a woman can properly wait for the most suitable person, but also be clear about her own strength. Only by constantly improving yourself in the waiting can you have the courage to wait forever.
Dreams are endless, but youth cannot be consumed, and you cannot joke about lifelong events.
Take the objective conditions of marriage, women who are truly happily married rarely become arrogant. Otherwise, time will prove that her marriage will not be happy for long.
To put it impartially, when it comes to marriage, the so-called "age is not a problem" and is only suitable for a few gifted women. They have enough perseverance to wait until the end, not afraid of not marrying out.
However, for most ordinary women, this is a harmful poisonous chicken soup.
The reason why poisonous chicken soup is called "poisonous chicken soup" is because its logic is too idealistic, so that many people naively think that they are really unusual. At first glance, there is some truth, and even people's blood boils. But its logic is counterintuitive, and when it encounters a little setback, it feels like the whole world is targeting itself.
Of course, sometimes a little more experience is also a kind of wisdom, which can also be called talent, but the people who can appreciate this "talent" are only a minority after all.
Realistically speaking, many women miss the best youth in order to wait for the illusory "Prince Charming". In the end, not only did the prince not wait, but even the horse did not wait...
Third, the remorse of marriage, and finally there are words of suffering
Some time ago, I saw a divorce case from a woman.com. Speaking in her tone, I'll sort it out a little bit along the lines:
I'm not ugly, and I'm not ugly to this day.
At that time, many handsome men pursued me, but later my marriage was far less happy than those ugly women around me. It's not fair, but I can only accept it.
For me, love is like a prank that fools people.
The thing I regret the most is not that I missed a lot of suitable ex-boyfriends, but that when I finally had to talk about marriage, I actually married a most inappropriate man.
The husband was divorced and had a boy with him.
If I were young, I wouldn't have easily accepted my offer to marry him. But at that time, at the age of 36, I no longer had the courage to wait.
At that time, the peers around me had already married and had children, and many people had a family of 4. I was alone, waiting for a better fate.
When it comes to marriage events, after the age of 30, I am more and more panicked every year. I have a lot of sisters, and when no one was married before, whenever a handsome guy pursues me, they will be red-eyed and envious.
At that time, the sisters were not as good looking as I was, they were difficult to take off, and I always had someone to pursue. I regard this as a woman's pride and confidence, and unconsciously delay the lifelong event.
In the past, they often asked me for advice and asked me how to deal with the relationship between men and women. Later, they got married and had children, and our common language became less and less.
I used to joke with them that it would be nice if you could find someone to marry, and I could wait.
When I found out that they started talking about their children, I suddenly understood that I was outdated. As soon as they talked about it, they were children, and I gradually couldn't interject.
Over the years, my presence has diminished by more than half. No one asked me about my feelings anymore, and no one envied how many handsome men pursued me.
At that time, I was not convinced, I did not want to marry casually, and I wanted to wait a little longer.
It wasn't until I was 35 when my ex got married to his ex-girlfriend that I suddenly realized what I was missing. Other people's children are almost 10 years old, and it is really too late for me not to get married.
Maybe 35 is a woman's last chance to get married. Regrettably, I missed out on 35.
The ex-boyfriends got married and had children one by one, and they could accompany me occasionally, but no one proposed to me anymore. In the past, it was better to choose one than the husband, and then there were fewer and fewer good men.
At the age of 36, I was pregnant with a child again and had to marry.
My husband is a second-married man, and I never thought I would marry such a person. After bargaining, I confessed to marrying him.
Married for more than 3 years, there is no feeling of happiness, there is not much love, and the original dream is completely different, the other day we divorced.
There are bitter words in the heart, and this marriage is like a bargain after the end. If you know that there is no sincerity between husband and wife, it is better to be single in the end...
Fourth, the pursuit of happiness should persist to the end
The above case is shorthand, and this is it.
The best marriage is to be happy with each other, at least to stand the test of time. If you get divorced after three years and five years of marriage, it is really better not to get married.
Objectively speaking, for most couples, marriage is a mutual assistance of life and a complement of feelings.
A couple of newcomers, if they miss the companionship of youth, miss the most sincere emotional preparation of the ignorant period, the marriage is only left to weigh the pros and cons.
Driven by prejudice, the older the age, the more difficult it is to be compatible, and it is difficult to say how much sincerity couples can cultivate in the future.
Therefore, the big question at the beginning of the article, "whether age is related to the sincerity of marriage", is most likely to be relevant.
From a sentimental point of view, if a person waits until the age of 35 and is not married, there is no need to compromise, it is best to continue to wait.
Be brave, wait a few more decades, and maybe Prince Charming will appear. Even if you can't wait, it is not against the original intention.
If you don't have this kind of courage to wait to the end, then the vision should not be too high, otherwise it is yourself who will be delayed. Taking advantage of your youth, meeting people who can be worthy of yourself, looking at the face of sincerity, it is more reasonable to lower your eyes and get married.
The road to happiness is long, and waiting for love is not easy. For many people, the most afraid of halfway to bend, in the end to get a high or low is not enough.
Every woman who awaits Prince Charming should have a heart to persevere to the end, and not waste the original wait.
Believe that you will be happy, then happiness is not far away.
Even if you can't wait for the age of 80, you may wait a few more years. It's just a matter of waiting for a few more decades, and in the face of happiness, these decades are no big deal. At that time, I can bravely say that I am finally married to the right person in my 80s, and the marriage is very happy.