Wen | Fang Xiaoju
What is "joy and mourning"?
"Joy and mourning" refers to the fact that someone in the family has died, and the deceased is a person of high moral standing and a happy life; and the family is prosperous, aged in eighty or ninety, and naturally dies of old age. Such a funeral for the deceased can be described as "joyful mourning".
In the movie "Happy Funeral", the death of the old man Lin Guo cannot be counted as a happy funeral at all.
Lunan Zhangzhuang, 35 years old lost her husband, alone to pull the elderly Lin Guo family of 6 children, after the stroke fell and could not take care of themselves, the children did not have her consent, anxious to send her to the nursing home.
But the bed in the nursing home is tight, the old man in the waiting period, tossing and turning in the home of 3 children, after tasting all the sour, sweet and bitter, the bed of the nursing home is finally empty, the old man swallowed medicine on the eve of the trip to commit suicide.
After the old man committed suicide, he finally got rid of the burdensome children and held a funeral for her, which was called "joy and mourning".
As everyone knows, the glory that Lin Guoshi received after his death was that the children were atonement for their sins.
Her children, before she committed suicide, had stripped their mother's dignity of nothing with their own embarrassment.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >01. After life cannot take care of itself, dignity is lost in front of children</h1>
The 86-year-old Lin Guo family has no husband at the age of 35.
When her husband died, she was left with an old house and 6 children, the oldest of whom was 13 years old and the youngest 9 months.
"A child without a wife is like a grass", Lin Guoshi refused to remarry, relying on food, pulling up 6 children.
After her children had all started a family, she lived alone in the old mansion with her fourth child, Xiaodao.
Her 6 children, only the second son, the third son and the second daughter often came to see her, the eldest son and the eldest daughter were in the city, and they did not come back to see her for many years, only sending money back during the New Year's Festival.
When the fourth son was working outside, after the daughter-in-law ran to Shanghai with others, he never returned home, leaving his son's trail to raise the old woman.
Lin Guo believed in Buddhism and would kneel in front of the bodhisattva every night and pray: "May the bodhisattva bless the children with peace and security."
The children were all safe, but her body was getting worse every day.
She had fallen twice.
The first time she fell, the children agreed to send her to the nursing home.
The beds in the respectable nursing home are tight, and she cannot live in it until the seriously ill Mrs. Hu dies.
The second son can't wait to sign a contract with the nursing home and pay a deposit, just waiting to hear the news of Mrs. Hu's death.
The old man of the Korin Guo clan did not want to go to the nursing home: "Am I not good?" My comfortable days are not yet a few days away."
When the children heard her say this, they began all kinds of questioning and frightening:
"How did you fall the other day"?
"Mother, do you remember the crazy lady?" Dead in the house, no one knows, found full of maggots."
"Mother, you don't think you fell, we can't do anything, we have to come and serve you."
"The deposit of the nursing home has also been paid, and the form has also been filled out, mother, you will look at it."
After the children left, the old man of the Lin Guo clan had a heavy heart and worked hard all his life, but in the end he had to be at the mercy of his children, go to the nursing home and wait for death, and he didn't even have any dignity?
The more she thought about it, the more aggrieved she became, and one day, she suddenly fell down at the door of the house for the second time.
This time the children were completely undependent to her.
The second daughter asked the second brother: "Second brother, let's go to the hospital for our mother"?
As soon as her words were uttered, she was pushed back by the second brother and sister-in-law: "Our mother's illness is an old disease, why spend that money"?
The result of everyone's deliberations has been that the old woman must go to the nursing home, and as soon as Mrs. Hu dies, she will go immediately.
But Lin Guo still insisted on not going to the nursing home, unwilling to spend the unjust money.
However, this time, no matter what she said, it was useless, and the second son snorted: "You old man, this time can not be this home, don't say anything, listen to my arrangement, go to go, do not go also have to go."
The old man saw that he could not help his son, so he had to say: "I want to live in each family for two days, respect the old people's home, and wait until I come back."
Her request, the children at first did not agree, but Mrs. Hu has not died, the nursing home can not get out of the bed, helpless, had to rely on her.
As the saying goes, "The child is not a mother", after Lin Guo's first fall, the children began to ignore her dignity, and when they did not seek her advice, they took it upon themselves to send her to the nursing home, and went through the formalities and paid the deposit.
To the old woman who did not want to go to the nursing home, they said frightening words with their mouths and tongues, blackmailing her like a child, and their words were pressing step by step.
After the second fall, the children did not take her in their eyes, the implication was clear, anyway, you are old, you don't count what you say, the words of your children, you have to listen, you have to listen, you have to listen.
From being forced to accept to go to the nursing home, to the request to go to the hospital to see a doctor, to the desire to go to the children's home to take turns and then agreed, back and forth, the wishes of the elderly Lin Guo have never been respected.
Her children did not know that the rural nursing home was a place waiting to die, where dignity was not worth mentioning, because the bed was tight, and everyone hoped that the old man who lived there would die early.
There, it is superfluous for people to live.
The children of the old man Lin Guo, as children, are the biggest disadvantage, that is, they know that the nursing home is a place waiting for death, but they completely disregard her dignity and force her to go to the nursing home like throwing away a used-out burning stick.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >02. After wandering in the children's home, after tasting the sweet and sour, the dignity is peeled off layer by layer</h1>
After the request to live from house to house was passed, Lin Guoshi took his grandson Xiaodao and her bodhisattva statue and began to wander around the homes of his three children.
The first stop was to go to the second home.
As soon as she entered the door, the second daughter-in-law enthusiastically brought her tea and water, and before she settled down, she couldn't wait to ask: "Mother, you go to the nursing home, the old house will not live, I move in"?
The old man did not agree on the spot, and she remembered the fourth son who had never returned: "What should the fourth old man do when he comes back?" The trail is so good that it has a nest to stay in."
The requirements could not be met, and the face of the second daughter-in-law immediately changed, and she threw her face all day and complained.
In order to get rid of the family's predicament, the daughter-in-law of the second family wants to go out to work, and she wants to give the child who can just walk to the care of her mother-in-law.
The second daughter-in-law just took this opportunity to count down the old man:
"There are a bunch of children in the house waiting for me to take, there is an old one waiting for me to serve, I still have to build you a house, I don't know where to live, you are going to force me to die, you ask your grandmother, has she shown me the child?" Now I'm waiting for you"?
Listening to these words without the slightest emotion, the old man sitting in the back room lowered his head without a word.
The matter of the second family's competition for the old house is not yet finished, Xiao Dao was arrested into the police station because he wanted his mother, stole electric cars to sell money, and after the second son took him back, the second daughter-in-law grabbed the handle and scolded in front of the old man: "The old one has not yet served well, and the small one is doing evil outside."
Sun Tzu Xiaodao made this trouble, the old man lin Guo knew that she could not live in the second family, and she took the initiative to ask to go to the third family.
Before leaving, she asked the second son to send the trail to the second daughter to find something to do, and then handed the key to the old house to the second daughter-in-law, and instructed: "My son, be careful when building a house, don't get tired."
The old three families live in the city, have a car and a house, and have a more comfortable life.
Before entering the door, the old man's cover was yelled by the third daughter-in-law and put into the storage room, and she felt that the old man was dirty.
When eating, the first words of the third daughter-in-law were: "Mother, when will you go to the nursing home"? The implication is when you leave my house.
The third daughter-in-law is different from the second daughter-in-law, she does not swear and grin on her mouth, but the dislike and disgust for the old man are all expressed in the action.
When the old man passed by, she would violently drop the mop on the ground, and the old man's used dishes and chopsticks she threw aside alone.
In front of the old man, she threw the old man's freshly washed handkerchief on the windowsill with tweezers.
In the third son's family, the old man is like a child who has done something wrong, always carefully watching the eyes of his daughter-in-law, afraid of being abandoned if he does something wrong.
The third daughter-in-law urged her husband to go to the nursing home again and again to see if Mrs. Hu was dead or not, and when she heard that Mrs. Hu would not die for a while and a half, she couldn't wait and said to her husband: "Then can't you change a nursing home for the elderly?"?
In her eyes, the old man had become a thorn in her eye, and she couldn't look at it more.
PingPing, the daughter of the third son's family, has long wanted to go out and explore the world, and after she ran to Zhejiang to work without a word, the third daughter-in-law sprinkled all her anger on her mother-in-law.
She pointed to the old man who was kneeling on the ground and did not dare to come out: "She is a little girl who does not understand things, and you are so old that you do not understand things"? While scolding, he threw the old man's crutch to the ground: "If something happens to the child, I will find you to settle the account."
The old man of the Lin Guo clan knew that her daughter-in-law had ordered the expulsion of the guests, and after she knelt down in front of the bodhisattva and prayed: "The bodhisattva blesses peace and peace," she insisted on going to the second daughter's house.
The second daughter's family had a somewhat difficult life, the son-in-law guarded a grocery store, the daughter rode a tricycle to sell pancakes, the son corps sold the family's house to run trucks outside, and the daughter-in-law Xiaojuan and granddaughter Yuanyuan lived in the grocery store with their in-laws.
The arrival of the old man and the trail makes the whole space more crowded.
Fortunately, the daughter is the mother's small cotton jacket, the daughter and son-in-law are very caring for the old man and Yan Yuexi, and the son-in-law also takes the initiative to buy pig ears from outside for the old man to eat.
But since the grocery store lost 50 yuan, the son-in-law has an opinion on the old man, and he believes that the money is taken by the old man: "When people are old, they can't do anything, I don't believe that the money will grow legs and run away."
He either complained to his wife: "You finish your work early every day, you have to earn thirty or forty yuan less every day", or he said to his wife: "The old man has never enjoyed happiness in his life, and it is much better to go to the nursing home than at home." The implication is to send the old man away.
Lin Guoshi was not deaf, and she listened to everything her son-in-law said.
Soon, she got a laughing disease, and she would always laugh involuntarily regardless of the occasion.
When the son-in-law took her to a doctor in a foreign country, she was blackmailed halfway through the medical treatment money.
The old man's illness was not seen, and the second daughter found the second brother's family and called the sisters together to discuss the old man's fate.
The second brother said impatiently that Mrs. Hu would not die, and no one could do anything about it.
The second daughter asked everyone to pay for the old man's laughter and disease, and the second daughter-in-law and the third daughter-in-law said in unison: "Whoever has a disease in the mother's house will show it."
The second daughter, who was wronged and bullied, was anxious, and she asked the second brother to take out the money sent back by the eldest brother and sister to the old man to see a doctor, and the second daughter-in-law listened to it, and immediately jumped like a thunderbolt, pointing at her nose and scolding, and the sisters made a mess.
The matter of the old man seeing a doctor was over.
After the second daughter returned home, she looked at the old woman who was laughing incessantly at an inopportune time and began to complain incessantly: "You said that your old man, who is old enough to get this disease, has children and grandchildren, and no one comes to see you, what does it mean that you are alive"?
Listening to his daughter's complaining, the old man laughed uncontrollably.
When the second daughter was worried about how to place the elderly, the son's army was in a car accident due to drunk driving, and the news that the person was gone came back, and the family fell into grief.
At this time, the laughter disease of the old man lin Guo's clan was untimely, and she laughed strangely, terrifying and weird.
The second daughter's family suffered great changes, and the old man could not stay any longer, so he had to return to the old house.
The old man of the Lin Guo clan went to his children's homes these days, tasting all the bittersweet and bittersweet, but his dignity was also ruthlessly trampled.
In the second son's family, the daughter-in-law first coveted her old house, and when the interests were not satisfied, she casually pointed at Mulberry and insulted her dignity.
In the third son's home, the third daughter-in-law treats her as garbage, and her dignity can be trampled on.
The daughter-in-law not only blamed her daughter for going out to work and insulted her viciously, but also threw all the things she used into the garbage heap before she left, in front of her.
At her daughter's house, she was treated by her son-in-law as a thief who stole money, and faced with the helplessness and embarrassment of having nowhere to go, she had to admit against her will that she had stolen the money in order to live in her daughter's house with a thick face.
During the time that Lin Guoshi was in the children's home, the children ran to the nursing home one after another, desperately trying to throw her away as a dirty rag.
During this time, her dignity was stripped away by her children layer by layer, although she was not naked, but it was enough to give birth to her determination to die.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >03. When driven into a cowshed and living humiliatingly like an animal, there is no dignity left</h1>
When Lin Guoshi circled outside and returned to the old mansion, the old mansion had become the territory of the second family.
She could only live in the stone house where the firewood was stored, and because she often laughed involuntarily, the second daughter-in-law forbade her to eat at the dinner table, but only sent a bowl of rice to the stone house every day.
The second son placed several packets of rat poison under her bed, under her feet, and under the table.
She asked her son and daughter-in-law who came to deliver food over and over again: "Has the nursing home written a letter?" My son".
The son and daughter-in-law did not raise their eyes and did not open their eyes, and impatiently rebuked her: "No, I can not tell you when I come."
Whenever this happened, she would laugh uncontrollably, laughing longer and longer, and the laughter was filled with unspeakable sadness and embarrassment.
The second daughter-in-law hated her laughter to the root of her teeth, and she reprimanded the old man over and over again: "Laugh, laugh all day, become a laughing ghost."
The more the daughter-in-law reprimanded, the more she laughed, and the second daughter-in-law finally blamed her laughter for the evil that she worshiped the bodhisattva.
The second son, in a fit of rage, lifted the bodhisattva up and smashed it in front of her, saying angrily in his mouth, "I told you to worship."
The bodhisattva was shattered by her son, and Lin Guo's faith was also shattered, and she silently picked up the statue of the bodhisattva that had been shattered on the ground and hugged it with a red cloth, but her broken heart could no longer be picked up.
Her health was getting worse and worse, her laughing sickness was getting worse and worse, and she couldn't stop laughing.
The daughter-in-law felt that she was in a courtyard, and her laughter sounded too maddening, so she and her second son drove her from the stone house to the cowshed.
The broken bed in the cowshed was creaking and crumbling, and the old man of the Lin Guo clan sat on it with a broken bed, next to the mooing cattle.
At this time, the Lin Guo clan could not have imagined that he had worked hard all his life, pulling 6 children, but finally living as an animal, even the cattle were not as good.
When the second daughter-in-law came to feed the cow, she was kind to the cow, often touching its neck and letting it eat more, but she was cold and cold, and her face was disgusted.
Every time I came to deliver food, I always put the rice bowl in front of her, looking like I love to eat or not to eat, and when I left, I had to add a sentence: "You yourself are here to laugh desperately, until you have laughed enough."
The old man couldn't figure out how she had worshipped the bodhisattva all her life, and in the end the bodhisattva not only did not bless her, but let her live like an animal, without any dignity.
Her final destination was to live in an open-air cowshed, guarding a creaking broken bed, and a dirty broken quilt, half a broken mirror, waiting for Mrs. Hu to die, and then she and her went to the nursing home to die.
One day, she heard the sound of firecrackers outside again, and the second son came to the cowshed and told her that the second grandmother next door was dead, and she sighed and said calmly: "This old goods still owe me money, Ming'er is looking for her to go."
Lin Guo knew that living had lost its meaning to her, and death had become a necessity.
Living is a kind of regret for her children, and only by dying early can she get her children out of this burden.
Mrs. Hu finally died, and the second son told her that the bed in the nursing home was vacant, and she could be sent to the nursing home tomorrow.
The old man lowered his head and let out a hey laugh again, and that laughter was full of utter despair and disdain, was it helpless against fate? Or a mockery of having children? Only she herself knew.
Late at night, the old man sat up from the bed with difficulty, looked at the half of the broken mirror, carefully washed his face with clean water, and combed his white hair.
Then, kneeling in front of the broken statue of the bodhisattva, he repeated over and over again: "Bodhisattva blesses the children with peace."
After completing all the ceremonies, the 86-year-old Lin Guo clan took out the rat poison that had been prepared from her pocket, swallowed it with her head up, and made a complete break with this absurd world and her 6 children, thus ending her hard and painstaking life.
From having to accept to go to the nursing home to embarking on the road of temporary residence in the homes of three children, lin guo's dignity was gone in the face of children and reality.
By the time she circled outside and returned to the old mansion, when she was driven into the cowshed, her dignity had been stripped away by her children.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > written at the end</h1>
After the death of the old man of the Lin Guo clan, the body was quickly cremated.
In order to hide their inner uneasiness and whitewash their filial piety, the children held a lively funeral for her.
At the funeral, the eldest son and eldest daughter still did not show up, but only sent money.
The second and third elders, who were not filial piety, were kicked by the elders in the village a few times, and then scolded again:
"Your mother wants food for a living, it is not easy to raise a few of your children, you have a few wives and nephews, you have no filial piety at all, and the money is used by bears"!
According to local customs, the old man died at the age of 86, which should be regarded as a happy funeral, although Lin Guo's family is not a natural death, nor is it considered to be the end of life, but it is not easy to read her for a lifetime, and she likes to listen to drama before she dies, and the elders in the village finally followed the requirements of their children and gave her a happy funeral.
Lin Guo's posthumous photo was placed in the middle of the stage, she coldly watched the lively performance on the stage, and the applause of filial piety and grandson on the stage, and she did not know how ironic and sad she was in her heart?
When he was young, he suffered a lot of hardships, widowed and pulled the eldest 6 children, and after he could not take care of himself in old age, he was driven into the cowshed, lived like an animal, and the dignity of a lifetime, and finally let the unbearable children be stripped of nothing.
In the face of such an unbearable child, the old man of the Lin Guo clan did not know whether he ever regretted it?
"Joy and Mourning" is an independent drama film, the plot of the movie is real to the extreme, but also cruel to the extreme, like the real life, the situation of the rural elderly.
It takes the most sensitive pension problems in today's Chinese as the main line, and tells the problem of the old age destination of the elderly in the real society.
"Can raising children prevent old age"? It has become a social issue that people should seriously examine.
Even if children cannot give their parents good care, they must at least maintain their dignity.
Because for a person, the most important thing is dignity.