The truth that children are based on society, most parents understand it wrong!

Author: The main creative group Xiaotian

Job season: different children, different states

Finding a job after graduating from college is a concern for countless parents. So what about this cohort?

Not long ago, a netizen on Weibo shared his feelings after observing three young people who joined the work this year.

The first girl graduated from Zhejiang University with a master's degree, and her employment goal was within the system, but she took various public and career examinations for a year but did not succeed. The child could not bear such a setback in his heart, and after graduating in June, he hid at home and did not go out.

The second boy is an undergraduate student in an ordinary college in Hangzhou, who also wanted to enter a large unit before, but after finding a job for a year without success, he chose to go to a foreign trade company and start as a salesman at the bottom. He decided to do it first, if it is not suitable and then change, it is better to find a job when he has work experience.

The third girl is an undergraduate student of a 211 university in the mainland, majoring in programmer, who has been interning in various Internet companies in Hangzhou this year, but she could not stay in the intended company because of market problems. Recently, she seized her last opportunity to join a medium-sized Internet company.

Looking at the experiences of these three children, this netizen summarized three points:

First, it is right to guide children to study well, because after stepping into society, basic undergraduate education is the basic condition for job search;

Second, grades are not the most critical, what is more important is the child's ability to adapt to this changing society;

Third, the mental health problems of top school children are worth paying attention to, if you can't objectively look at your own academic halo, the elite school degree is a shackle and a cage, which will surround people and can't move.

I was deeply touched by this post. What is the purpose of raising children? For most of our working-class families, it is actually clear - children can go to school safely, find a solid job, have a decent job in the future, and eventually stand on the society and be independent.

However, the process is not easy. Blindly pursuing high scores, good grades and prestigious schools may put the cart before the horse.

So, in this competitive society, what kind of children can seize the opportunity to stand out and finally stand firm in the job search army? It's the school season again, and this question is worth thinking about for our parents.

The bargaining chip for children's competitiveness is not scores, but these four abilities

Teacher Yu Minhong once wrote that his daughter's learning level was once in the middle of the class, but he never used this as a criterion for whether his daughter should work hard.

In his view, "growth is a lifetime thing, and it is definitely not determined by the scores a child gets in elementary school or college." ”

And nurturing children is like planting trees, "only by first nourishing him on the roots, and then irrigating him with the nutrients of virtue, can the child grow luxuriant and closer to the sun." ”

In fact, having such four abilities is the key nutrient for children to become talented, and it is a real bargaining chip to help them win in the workplace and win in the future.

● Self-drive: Maintain a self-motivated energy source

Not long ago, Yu Bowen, a high school student from Wuhan, was on the hot search.

This boy, who had previously won two gold medals in the National Physics Competition for Middle School Students, recently achieved the world's first overall score in the International Physics Olympiad, and was guaranteed to be admitted to the School of Physics of Peking University, with a promising future.

His experience was reported by People's Daily and praised by countless netizens.

According to Yu Bowen's mother, he has loved learning since he was a child and has a strong interest in physics. After being successfully escorted to Peking University, he was not idle, but used the summer vacation to study English and recharge his upcoming college career.

In fact, throughout the children who have a good career, they generally have a common trait, that is, they are self-driven in learning.

Education experts pointed out that in the early grades of primary school, parents should focus not on achievements, but on the cultivation of self-consciousness and self-discipline in learning.

When "want me to learn" becomes "I want to learn", learning no longer has to rely on persecution, and the child himself will actively think and study, and the effect will naturally be very different.

After stepping into society, self-drive can also promote children's enthusiasm for exploration in any field. It is like a source of energy, pushing children to stay motivated.

● Resistance: The killer app for Jedi Rebound

During the summer vacation, he attended a college reunion and was shocked to learn that a former classmate had depression and repeatedly tried to commit suicide.

It is understood that the main reason is that her project was not smooth during her doctoral studies, which led to problems in her psychological state under excessive pressure.

While being stunned, I couldn't help but think of a news I once saw - Caitlin Kirby, a doctoral student in Earth and Environmental Sciences at Michigan State University in the United States, wore a dress made of 17 rejection letters to participate in the defense of his doctoral dissertation.

According to Caitlin, the rejection letters she received were much more than that, and there were many types, including scholarship applications, paper submissions, conference submissions and so on.

In the light description, there is no self-pity, only optimism and calmness. As one review wrote: "Every path to achievement is paved with frustrating rejections. ”

I deeply feel that failure is the mother of success for the strong, but it is the last straw that is crushed for the weak.

A study by the University of Pennsylvania in the United States for more than three decades found that successful people generally have a common characteristic, that is, they can remain optimistic and strong in the face of setbacks and difficulties. This is inseparable from a key quality – resilience.

However, the cultivation of resistance does not rely on blindly allowing children to experience failure. The real key is for children to have the courage and energy to start all over again.

As scholar Qian Liqun said: "I have a golden childhood, so no matter how big the ups and downs are, there is a bright background." ”

In fact, children are not more courageous the more "setbacks", but the more "loved" the more courageous.

● Creativity: The guarantee of always being ahead

I have seen the story of the genius boy Zhihuijun.

He was once a talent that Huawei spent a lot of money to find, but he was a well-deserved "all-round king" at a young age.

In addition to being proficient in drawing, playing guitar, cutting videos and other specialties, he is also especially good at inventions in science and engineering. On Station B, the creation videos he regularly shared attracted tens of millions of netizens to watch.

Previously, he independently developed and created works such as automatic bicycles and iron man robotic arms, which made netizens marvel and call it incredible.

Zhihuijun's experience once again convinced people how attractive a creative child is. In fact, it is also a necessary feature for excellent people.

Chen Jining, former president of Tsinghua University, said in a speech that including Tsinghua University, there are a large number of "A" students in colleges and universities, that is, traditional good students with good grades and A in every subject.

But what colleges and universities need most is actually "X" students, those who may not be at the top of their academic performance, but have a high degree of innovation and creativity.

Albert Einstein once said, "Creativity is more important than knowledge." Knowledge has limits, but creativity can travel through the universe. ”

It can be seen that a child with creativity will always be at the forefront of the times and is destined to better adapt to the changes in this society.

● Sociability: The key to embracing happiness

There is a saying: "Whatever you are, mix in whatever circle." ”

Our Chinese people pay attention to "circles", and circles can bring us not only connections and help at critical times, but also a steady stream of happiness.

One of the most important conclusions of Harvard's adult development tracking program, The Grant & Glueck Study, after more than eight decades of research, is:

"What determines whether a person is happy in life is not wealth, fame or wealth, or work, but good relationships. Harmonious and warm relationships keep us healthy and happy."

Therefore, teaching children the necessary social skills and cultivating children's emotional intelligence is the premise for them to have more friends.

Of course, in this process, it is also necessary to let the child know that the quality of friends is not in quantity, but in quality. The more we make friends with people with positive energy and positive energy, we will become better.

Some time ago, there was a fire in the dormitory of Xueba, that is, the 403 dormitory of Building 2 of the Second Clinical Medical College of Wenzhou Medical University.

Five older boys, one better than the other. In the past 5 years, they have published 7 SCI papers, authorized 4 national patents, received nearly 240,000 yuan in scholarships, and 4 people have been admitted to graduate school and 1 person has been admitted to graduate school.

Speaking of how is the dormitory of Xueba? Qiu Jiawei, the head of the dormitory, revealed that the secret is to "find good peers, supervise each other, and learn together." ”

On weekdays, dormitory members work hard during the day, and when they return in the evening, they exchange and share learning experiences together. In the exam month, they will divide up the work and work together, produce materials, ask each other questions, and spot check knowledge points.

In this way, every young person in dormitory 403 is steadily moving towards their life goals under the influence and encouragement of their peers.

It can be seen that whether a person can make friends is the prerequisite for future happiness; And what kind of friends you make determines the height of life.

Being sociable and good at working with excellent groups is the secret weapon to embrace a happy life.

For children to have these abilities, it is inseparable from this most important point

I saw such news not so long ago.

In Jinhua, Zhejiang Province, a rural couple who graduated from primary school and made a living by farming and raising pigs raised three excellent daughters, two of whom were doctors.

Today, the eldest daughter has become a university professor, the second daughter has been admitted to a public institution, and the third daughter has entered a company after teaching for 7 years. All three have successful careers, happy families, and happy lives.

After interviewing them, the local media summed it up like this: "The best education may be like this, without dogma and accusations, just words and deeds, and subtly give the love of life and the pursuit of perfection to children." ”

I think so.

Soong Ching-ling once said: "Children's character and talents, in the final analysis, are most deeply influenced by the family, parents, especially the mother. When children grow up, society becomes an environment for exercising them. Schools also play an important role in the development of young people. However, it is the family that leaves an indelible mark on a person. ”