Mother's postpartum depression throws the child off the flyover to death: postpartum depression is not hypocrisy, it is really sick

Original | Pregnancy

Li Min's sudden death made too many people sad, and also let more people know the horror of depression.

Before this, we cannot deny that in the eyes of some people, depression is still "pretentious", "pretending", "too fragile", "mediocre self-disturbance", "just want to open a little" and so on.

But depression is really not hypocrisy.

Especially for mothers after marriage and postpartum, depression is even more common, and severe postpartum depression can kill.

Recently, there was a news of postpartum depression that attracted the attention of the whole network.

A 42-year-old mother in Hong Kong threw her 16-day-old premature baby from the flyover due to postpartum depression, and the baby died after being rescued.

At the time of the incident, the mother who was depressed after giving birth was worried that her daughter's crying would wake her husband, so she carried her out of the house, and then walked to the 7.5-meter-high bridge, where she apologized to her daughter and left the child.

According to the news reports, the mother has been blaming herself because her daughter was born prematurely and underweight, forcing herself to breastfeed 3 hours a day.

She expressed to her husband the idea of committing suicide or killing the child, but the husband could not understand it, only told her to relax and not worry, and just like that, tragedy happened.

The mother, who lost her daughter afterwards, is in extreme pain.

It happened last year, and the verdict was recently pronounced in this case.

Because relatives and friends interceded for her, psychiatrists confirmed through examination that she was indeed suffering from postpartum depression and needed treatment, and the court also considered the extreme pain of the defendant's loss of the child, so she sentenced her to a two-year probationary order.

The light sentence in this case has sparked a lot of discussion.

Some people say: Please don't whitewash the murderer.

"This is a murderer, so many people empathize with murderers, you can use postpartum depression as a reason."

"Postpartum depression, which may occur for various reasons, is pitiful, but it is not an excuse to kill the biological child."

Some people also say: the child and the mother are so pitiful.

"There are still people who don't know what postpartum depression is, and this mother will live in self-blame every day in the future, which is more uncomfortable than sentencing her..."

"Older mothers, think about why, walking alone on the flyover, she is still in confinement."

"How sad this mother should be in the future, she is sick now."

"At the age of 42, the child was born prematurely, and if the mother does not have relatives to accompany and take care of her, how much psychological endurance must be needed to not be depressed."

Indeed, in this tragedy, the child is the most innocent, but the mother who lost the child, when she came to her senses, she lived in self-blame every day after that, and she could not forgive herself for the rest of her life.

Therefore, stop taking postpartum depression lightly, severe postpartum depression will make the mother hurt herself, and it will hurt the baby.

Don't let them fall into the black hole of depression and can't escape.

①

Every mother who is depressed after giving birth

All have a disappeared husband

In the above news commentary, a netizen said:

"It is definitely wrong to kill the child first, but her family has a large part of the responsibility, how many men feel that postpartum depression is disease-free moaning in hypocrisy, if the husband and family bear more and care more about the mother, such a tragedy can be avoided."

That's right, every mother who is depressed after giving birth has a disappearing husband and absent family.

In the most vulnerable period of postpartum mothers, they can't see their wives' anxiety and collapse, they don't take their responsibilities, they don't give their wives companionship and tolerance, and they let their postpartum depressed wives see no light.

There are many fans of pregnancy mothers who share their experience of postpartum depression, which is really full of screen despair.

"A few days after giving birth, I should be depressed, crying in the hospital, my husband does not understand, my mother-in-law does not understand."

"After giving birth, everyone's focus is on the child, including my husband, who has to feed the child every two or three hours at night, and I will lose sleep every night, and every day at three or four o'clock in the morning, I will run to the toilet to cry alone, feeling that I can't live anymore, that kind of despair, it makes me feel that it is really difficult to live."

"During the confinement, my mother-in-law kept saying that I had no milk, my husband's ignorance, and the old-fashioned parenting methods all made me collapse, and I relied on myself to carry it."

"Six months ago, I also had suicidal thoughts, I cried almost every day from giving birth to confinement, and the heart-wrenching pain cannot be forgotten, when you don't need care and care when you need it most, then you don't need it later."

The drastic changes in postpartum hormones, coupled with the hard pregnancy work after giving birth, like a mountain pressing, will make mothers easily depressed.

At this time, the husband's inaction and the incomprehension of the in-laws are amplified and repeatedly echoed here, becoming a weapon to hurt the mother.

②

The postpartum period is a woman's weakest moment

It is also the time when you are most prone to depression

Mothers who have given birth know that postpartum depression is all too common.

Because pregnancy and childbirth bring to women is really earth-shaking, both physically and mentally.

A mother said: After becoming a mother, how many invisible collapses are hidden in the middle of the night, before giving birth, experiencing pregnancy in October, contractions, ten-degree labor pains and tears before giving birth, I originally thought that confinement was used to enjoy happiness and nourish the body, eat confinement meals, enjoy the care of my family, and have someone to help watch the child.

But when I really gave birth, I found that the most tired person in the confinement was still myself.

The sky at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 in the morning, damn have seen it.

Because it is a mother, she should sleepily milk the child, change diapers, and coax the child day and night.

It is also necessary to endure the discomfort of elbows and lower backs to hold the child, endure the fragmented routine and the crying of the child at any time and anywhere.

What happens in the outside world has nothing to do with you, from the birth of the child, the mother's duty is to milk the child, hold the child, coax the child, and at the same time, if the child has any discomfort and mistakes, you are the object of accountability.

One netizen said this: Almost every mother has cried during confinement.

Because of the changes in hormones, the hard work of bringing a baby, the lack of sleep, the collapse of breast milk, and the deformation of the body, it will definitely make people collapse at a certain moment.

If coupled with the inaction of the husband, the in-laws are not easy to get along with, the nerve that the mothers have tense after giving birth is a "bang" break, and at a certain moment, there may be a fracture-like question about themselves and the world.

For many mothers, "pregnancy is a baby, postpartum is a nanny", this change in identity will be more unable to deal with themselves.

If the sunshine in life does not shine into her heart, the postpartum depression cannot be resolved.

③

The most terrifying thing after giving birth

"I was so close to breaking down, but he called me hypocritical!"

In the eyes of many husbands, it is easy for a woman to have children.

What postpartum depression, are all hypocritical women.

The "Blue Book of New Mothers' Emotions" pointed out that more than 40% of new mothers have been said by their families because of postpartum depression that they are "too pretentious, born in blessings and do not know blessings".

There was a very popular video on the Internet before, where several mothers told their experiences of postpartum depression.

A depressed wife after giving birth said: I haven't been very happy since I gave birth, to be honest.

But my husband said: I don't think you have postpartum depression, you just lose control of your emotions.

Another mother said: I am very sick, but because there is no cough, no runny nose, no one in the family knows that I am sick, and they do not think that I am sick.

Some people even say: there is no postpartum depression at all, but it is made up on the Internet, and women are too fussy!

A while ago, a wife and her husband talked about their postpartum depression, but the husband said after watching the monitoring: It seems that the child should have postpartum depression!

But as netizens said: don't think that being so happy is not depression, depression is not having to sit in that corner and cry, and want to commit suicide to call depression.

What pregnant mothers want to say is: postpartum depression is not terrible, what is really scary is that you are tortured to exhaustion, but no one feels the same way, and even thinks that postpartum depression is hypocrisy.

And ignoring postpartum depression can really put them on the verge of collapse into a desperate situation.

A 37-year-old mother in Changsha, Hunan Province, committed suicide by jumping off a building with her 5-month-old daughter because of postpartum depression, in fact, her family had long discovered that something was wrong with her, but she did not expect that postpartum depression would be so serious.

A mother in Shandong Province strangled her 4-year-old son because of postpartum depression, and then committed suicide by slashing her neck, hands, and arms with a knife...

A mother of a second child in confinement in Jinhua, Zhejiang, jumped from a tall building with her daughter who was not yet full moon because of postpartum depression...

After these tragedies, the family regretted it: knowing that she had postpartum depression, they just didn't expect it to be so serious!

If something had been discovered earlier that something was wrong with them, and the family had given more companionship and support, the tragedy could have been avoided.

Because many mothers have come out of depression in the company of family and friends, postpartum depression is not a flood as long as it is faced.

Supermodel Xi Mengyao also experienced postpartum depression after giving birth, because of her husband's coquettishness and companionship, because of the enlightenment and support of friends, her negative emotions found a catharsis, and finally got out of the haze of postpartum depression.

Qin Hailu, who experienced severe postpartum depression, came out of the haze of depression with the company and encouragement of her husband Wang Xinjun.

Qin Hailu has social phobia, and every time she goes out, Wang Xinjun will send her off and encourage her to return to work, and he will take on the heavy responsibility of bringing up the children.

No matter what time his wife came home, Wang Xinjun would sit on the sofa in the living room and wait for her.

This love and encouragement allowed Qin Hailu to get out of the haze of depression.

Postpartum depression is common, but as long as the sunshine in life can shine into the hearts of mothers, she can come out.

④

Self-help and being rescued

It is the best way out of depression

Postpartum depression can happen to every postpartum mom, and only by understanding it can we truly cure it.

Seeing is the beginning of all healing, companionship and love, and is a good medicine for postpartum depression.

Under the topic of postpartum depression, a mother said:

When I just gave birth, I didn't talk all day, I kept crying, my husband asked me what to cry, I said I don't know, just want to cry, my husband ran to the hospital for consultation, the doctor said that it was postpartum depression, to care more about the mother, my husband was scared to death, back home even did not dare to go to work, help me at home to watch the child, chat with me, slowly just fine, now think about it is really scared.

Recognize your emotions and ask your family for help in time to get rid of the dilemma of depression.

First, self-help - don't force yourself to be a 100-point mother

● Don't demand perfection. No one can be a perfect mother, don't demand too much from yourself, and lowering psychological expectations can relieve some of the burden.

●Distraction. Don't always focus on the bad things, focus more on the pleasant things, or the things you enjoy. Communicate with people and develop hobbies.

●Relax appropriately. Taking care of children is an individual work, and children's sleep is irregular, so when children rest, they should also try to rest as much as possible and adjust the content of life appropriately.

●Proactive help. When you feel helpless and emotionally broken, you can confide in your partner, girlfriends, and parents, ask for help, and don't carry it by yourself all the time.

Second, be rescued - the support and encouragement of husband and family

●Timely communication. Learn more about the inner suffering of the postpartum mother, from a little girl to a mother, this role change sometimes comes too suddenly will have a certain impact on the mother's mood, this gap in the heart needs someone to channel, especially the husband.

● Understand your mother's mindset and identify with your mother's feelings. If the family finds that the mother is not in a good mood, they should empathize and give full understanding, instead of blaming the mother for being too fragile and sensitive, as Xie Yilin said, when taking care of the baby is tired to the point of out-of-body, it really just needs to have enough love from the husband to be full of energy again.

●Give more companionship to postpartum mothers. Let her feel the warmth and care from her family at all times, hug her when she is tired, coax the child when she cries, and make her feel that she is not alone.

●My husband should take care of the children and take on the task of cleaning up the house. Taking the initiative to soak milk and change diapers at night gives her plenty of time to rest and relax.

For many mothers, the companionship and understanding from the family is itself a kind of healing, which can make the mother feel the sunshine from the family and help the mother relieve depression faster.

Third, assess dangerous emotions

If mothers find themselves with postpartum depression, be sure to evaluate their depressed status.

One is normal postpartum depression. Because of hormones, it is normal to experience anxiety, fatigue, and mood swings during confinement

There are few mothers who have not cried and made a fuss, but afterwards they feel strange, why are the emotions so intense?

It's really not hypocrisy. It took a full 10 months of pregnancy, estrogen and progesterone increased 10 times, and it only took 72 hours after giving birth to fall back to the pre-pregnancy state, and no one can stand it!

This depression can usually be slowly self-regulated, gradually disappearing after confinement, and most postpartum mothers have postpartum depression and do not rise to the point of disease. As long as the family, especially the husband, is around to accompany and take care of them at this time, the mother's depression can be relieved in time.

The other is severe postpartum depression. There will be insomnia, severe mood swings, intense irritability, difficulty in close contact with the baby, loss of appetite, and suicidal thoughts.

These symptoms may persist for several months, and this situation requires special attention, and if seeking help from family members is not effective, be sure to see a psychologist.

Finally, I would like to say to all mothers:

Before you learn to love your children, please learn to take care of yourself,

Let go of excessive self-requirements, treat yourself gently, and don't force yourself to be a 100-point mother.

When encountering difficulties, seek help from your family, do not support alone,

If you are unlucky enough to meet a good mother-in-law, keep your distance from your mother-in-law.

Eat well, sleep well, see a doctor quickly if you have any diseases, and have a good body is more important than anything else.

Finally, I would like to say to all my husbands:

After giving birth, you must give your wife a little more thoughtfulness and love, accompany her, encourage her, support her, understand her...

If there is little milk, don't let the wife blame herself, only if the mother is happy, the baby can be happy, but it is really not good, milk powder can also provide nutrition for the baby.

If your wife is in a bad mood, hug her in time and tell her that you are there all the time.

If the wife is very tired and tired, please take on the task of bringing the baby more so that she can rest well.

As a husband, take responsibility as a partner, share the stress of parenting, and let your wife know that she is not alone in the fight.

Then, all the difficult and bad emotions of bringing a baby can be shared.

I also hope that all mothers will seek help from the people around them in time when they notice that they are depressed, and moms are not superhuman and don't bear everything alone!

Reference article

@二更视频 "Seeing Postpartum Depression: The Truth Your Husband Can't Escape"

@奚梦瑶 @秦海璐