There is an old Chinese saying called motherhood and rigidity. A woman, no matter what she was like before giving birth, seems to have to become strong when she becomes a mother.
Recently, there is such a TV series "This Life is also the First Time", which focuses on mothers during pregnancy and childbirth, and portrays the life of women who have just become mothers from different angles.
Among them, the fertility dilemma encountered by Chen Lanqing has aroused the resonance and thinking of many audiences.
Before giving birth, everyone around her told Chen Lanqing that the child was just good to give birth, and she herself had no concept of having a child. The couple, who were not ready to be parents, were in a hurry to welcome a new life.
However, the postpartum life is far beyond their control, facing the intervention of both mothers, husband and wife are also anxious to change and adapt to new roles, and the relationship between husband and wife is also facing a test.
After the birth of the child, the husband and mother-in-law focused on the baby; After giving birth, Chen Lanqing couldn't sleep at night because of mastitis, she felt that her "chest was about to explode, the comet hit the earth on the left, and the world war on the right", but her mother-in-law and mother insisted on not letting her take medicine, because she had to feed the child breast milk, so that Chen Lanqing resisted; The child had eczema, and her husband and mother-in-law blamed Chen Lanqing for eating too much irritating food during pregnancy.
In addition, the incomprehension of her family and husband also made Chen Lanqing feel more painful during this special period: her husband felt that she was exaggerated, thinking that it was normal for children to find their mother, and they had to find "mother" for everything, and could not understand his wife's collapse;
The mother-in-law felt that this daughter-in-law was too pampered, and if she was a mother, she had to suffer a little and suffer some sin, always saying that she couldn't stand it, and not letting her son go on a business trip, which was dragging her son's hind legs.
As a new mother, Chen Lanqing not only has to endure a series of physiological reactions brought about by childbirth, but also suffers from great anxiety and pain psychologically, which affects her mental health all the time.
After an emotional outburst, she completely breaks down and climbs onto the roof to end her life. Later, after diagnosis, Chen Lanqing was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and her husband and mother-in-law also began to take care of her mood and try to understand her pain.
The arrival of a new life is a joy, but we should not forget the mothers who brought new life. We not only pay attention to the mother's body, but also pay attention to the emotional problems of mothers, and caring for the mental health of new mothers is a point that cannot be ignored.
What is postpartum depression?
Postpartum depression refers to significant depressive symptoms or typical depressive episodes in women with the puerperium.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 70% of women will experience a period of "postpartum depression", and 1 in 7 women will experience postpartum depression.
Postpartum depression, not what many people think of as "pretentious, pretentious, princess disease", it affects the physical and mental health of women who have just become mothers, and also has a great impact on the whole family.
There are news reports that a mother in Texas, USA, drowned her child with her own hands because of severe postpartum depression.
Postpartum depression, which is not valued and treated, can continue to affect the rest of life like a depressive disorder. Unhappy mothers are unable to take care of themselves and have difficulty forming a good emotional connection with their children. Postpartum depression is never a one-person affair, it ultimately affects the whole family.
What are the manifestations of postpartum depression?
Similar to other depressive disorders, mothers suffering from postpartum depression also show persistent low mood, decreased interest, decreased energy, pessimism, self-blame, sleep and appetite changes, etc., in addition, they will also show emotional instability, anxiety, irritability, feeling overwhelmed, obsessions and behaviors about infant care.
For example, in the play, Chen Lanqing couldn't sleep, eat, and have nightmares every day after giving birth, questioning and not accepting her identity as a mother, and afraid that she couldn't be a good mother.
"Do you know what it feels like to put such a pure, flawless and precious child on my hands? It's like giving a blasting button to a recruit, with great honor and great responsibility; At the same time, it is also a great fear. This line not only dissects Chen Lanqing's psychological activities, but also the voice of many postpartum women.
And another working mother in the play is far away, even if she has made a lot of planning and preparation before giving birth, she will still be anxious because of various conditions after giving birth, blame herself for herself, and she will become easy to cry and question herself as a strong woman.
The causes of postpartum depression are not only physiological reasons, such as changes in the hormones of postpartum women, but also related to various factors such as personal personality traits, negative event stimulation in life, identity change and adaptation.
In medicine, the pathogenesis of postpartum depression has not been clarified, and most of the symptoms are targeted at the treatment, and timely observation of maternal emotional changes, more care, comfort the emotions of pregnant women, and provide supportive power is the most effective policy for the treatment of postpartum depression.
What can we do in the face of postpartum depression?
First, prepare before and after childbirth and pay active attention
Many women experience "postpartum restlessness" after childbirth, which is an intermediate state between normal emotional state and postpartum depression. Sometimes some negative events occur, and changes in physiological hormone levels may stimulate them.
Therefore, not only the mother herself, but also the family around her, should pay attention to the emotions of the new mother, detect suspicious signs in time, seek support, and if necessary, psychotherapy or drug treatment to avoid the problem becoming more and more serious.
Second, self-regulation and growth
New mothers and fathers can prepare for childbirth, such as attending a preparation course on parenting, and familiarize themselves with parenting matters in advance; Psychologically, we must also learn self-care, self-acceptance, regulate emotions, and adapt to role changes.
You can also talk to professional counselors about your inner anxiety and worries through psychological counseling, find the psychological factors that cause the disease, provide more emotional and social support, and help mothers get through this special period.
After experiencing an emotional collapse, Chen Lanqing also conducted psychotherapy with the psychologist of the confinement center, confided her inner anxiety and worries with the counselor, relieved and regulated her emotions, gradually adapted to her role, and learned how to be a good mother in the stumbling.
3. Social support
Raising a new life, in addition to the efforts of new parents, also requires the support of the family, the community, and the whole society.
The setting up of mother and baby rooms in public places, the support of families and communities for mothers, the education of mothers on how to take care of their children and themselves, how to balance their new life with newborns...
These social supports are all great at helping moms adjust to their new roles and make moms feel no longer lonely.
We need to understand mothers, their complaints, their needs, and their lives that are not seen.
Finally, I want to give a sentence from the play to all mothers who are suffering from postpartum depression: "Every mother is a qualified mother for her children!" ”
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