If I want the teacher to be good to the baby, I have 3 communication "careful machines"

OK mom said:

To be honest today, children spend seven or eight hours a day in school, although we do not expect them to live a rich life, but we must not want them to become "little transparent" in the eyes of teachers, after all, which child is not born to need attention.

However, with dozens of children in the class, the teacher's attention is limited, and there will naturally be trade-offs. How do teachers choose which child to allocate their attention to? I asked a friend who is an elementary school teacher, and her answer was that it has a lot to do with the degree of communication and connection between parents. The closer the degree of communication, the more attention will naturally be paid to children.

Of course, the communication connection she said is not to brush the sense of existence in front of the teacher from time to time, and the real communication connection with the teacher actually requires a particularly practical and heart-to-heart communication.

It just so happens that my friend Sasa is going through this process recently, her daughter has just entered elementary school, and she has a lot of thought about establishing a close connection with her teacher, and when she talked to me in the process, I also shared some of my own experience with her, so we sorted out today's article together and shared it with parents at this stage.

Text: Sasa

01

Cleverly "break the ice" from the blank space of the worksheet paper

Last September, on the first day of sending my daughter to elementary school, I found that there were nearly 40 children in the class, and the head teacher had only one! Busy with a group of twitter children, this configuration is not comparable to the kindergarten with two teachers and living aunts in the class every day.

At that time, I told my teammates, let's not expect the teacher to pay too much attention to my daughter. The first teacher is really not easy, second, our daughter is not a provocative baby, slow and introverted, we did not give her early learning, the performance of just entering school is definitely just mediocre.

Based on the setting of "say something, do not disturb if you have anything" in the state of getting along with the teacher, the parent group in our class is basically in a "silent" state, which has become a bulletin board for teachers to issue daily homework and precautions.

I originally thought that other parents were just passively accepted the teacher's call like me, but then I slowly found that whether it was the opportunity allocation for the students on duty, the early self-study students, or even the standing position of the class group photo, there were indeed a few children in the class who were "raised" more by the teacher. In contrast, my daughter has almost become a "little transparent".

Moreover, those children with strong exposure, whose parents are members of the parent committee, often help teachers do some class logistics, such as what teaching aids are needed for teachers' teaching activities, and they will be fully supported as soon as possible; Various types of greenery are also prepared to de-beautify the classroom; Even for the performance of the class stage play, he took several working days to help the children in the class rehearse, order costumes, and work as a volunteer makeup artist... With so much help to the class and so many "cooperation opportunities" with the teacher, it is reasonable for the teacher to put his affection on the attention to the child.

But these methods are not suitable for me, most of the parent committee is free working hours or full-time mother, and as a working mother, I am often so busy that I can't see the news in the group for the first time, let alone provide services to the class group on call.

Just pondering this, when I felt a little lost and anxious, occasionally a chance allowed me to discover the icebreaker secret.

Halfway through the first semester, the class began to have a weekly oral arithmetic test, each time the test paper required parents to sign, the first two times were probably relatively simple, the daughter can get more than 95 points, by the third time, the paper slightly more difficult, the daughter only got a pitiful 75 points.

This score is basically the bottom of the class! When I signed my name, I carefully analyzed the reasons for her low score and proposed a solution, "In the future, I must urge her to practice oral arithmetic more every day, and if the score improves next time, I hope the teacher will also find an opportunity to encourage her." ”

▲ Afraid of being recognized by acquaintances, similar pictures found on the Internet

I didn't think much about it at the time, but I just wanted to show my attitude - as parents, we are very concerned about our children's performance in school, and we are willing to actively cooperate with teachers to improve our children's grades.

Unexpectedly, the next day, the teacher took a photo, sent it to the parent group, and gave recognition: "It's great to see such messages and feedback from parents!" ”

For people like me who are a little social fear, in the signing task assigned by the teacher, it is much easier to put forward a little opinion and small idea of my own than to directly knock on the WeChat window, one-on-one typing, and voice chat.

This experience also made me know that the teacher welcomes this "certain sense of boundary" communication style; Moreover, after careful thinking, I can also express my wishes and ideas more comprehensively and clearly.

02

The teacher came to "complain",

It's a great opportunity to build attention

The public praise of the teacher thought that the child could enter the spiraling channel, but he didn't think about it, but he waited for a "complaint" from the teacher.

The teacher sent me a long message to the effect that my daughter was unwilling to answer questions or perform in public in class, and today the teacher said it and cried on the spot.

Although my heart was full of disappointment at the moment of reading the news, and the article was full of my daughter's questions, I thought about it: "Hey, if the teacher hadn't paid attention to my daughter, how could she take the initiative to tell me this?!" ”

That's right~ The teacher began to pay attention to my daughter.

It's a good start, and I have to seize the opportunity to communicate effectively.

Considering that the teacher only has free time for lunch break, and WeChat typing back and forth is also very time-consuming, I proposed to find a suitable time to communicate directly by phone. The teacher readily agreed.

Using some time before the call, I did my homework and sorted out the child's cognitive level, personality characteristics, behavior and so on, to see which ones were related to the questions raised by the teacher. When it was time for the call, I listened carefully to the teacher to finish all the questions, and then expressed my willingness to cooperate, but also helped the child's behavior to explain some things. (The purpose of the explanation is also to share my thoughts with the teacher to see if the teacher agrees or has suggestions).

In fact, as a parent who still has a sense of distance from the teacher and social fear, I will have a "humble" mentality in face-to-face communication, but after communication, I found that based on fact-based communication, parents and teachers are really equal, because teachers are actually seeking the assistance of parents, and they especially hope that parents will cooperate unanimously to discipline their children well.

So after exchanging educational concepts, we also "collided" with three plans that could be practiced on my daughter next.

With this agreed practice plan, I don't need to think about any communication opportunities later, and I can communicate with the teacher politely and appropriately after my daughter's changes.

In less than a month, my daughter began to be more and more noticed by teachers!

The teacher told me, "The children have become more and more cheerful lately. In the past, she refused to raise her hand in class, and when she was called by the teacher to speak, her voice was so small that she could not hear it, but today she called her up, encouraged her a little, and found that she answered very clearly and loudly. Also, she also took the initiative to raise her hand to sign up for the task of dividing meals at noon, thinking of helping the class to do things collectively, which was very progressive! ”

Of course, I think I was also lucky to meet a good teacher who is willing to discuss with parents about the development of children's personality.

To put it in another way, the teacher faces 40 different children and families, each with different education, and her willingness to listen to our family's educational philosophy and coordinate according to my ideas is really valuable.

03

Become a "resource" for teachers,

It's not okay not to be noticed

As the number of communication with the teacher increased, the distance became closer, out of kindness rather than intention, I began to think very naturally, so how can I help the teacher? What do teachers need?

I found that the school's public account will post some teachers' learning, trial lectures, and practical activities from time to time, but there is an article that is more special, in the teacher's classroom, parents also play the role of teaching assistants. I suddenly realized that in the performance of teachers, in addition to leading classes to class, "parental cooperation" is also one of the KPIs of teachers! Parents are also a resource in the hands of teachers, and the more resources teachers can mobilize, the better their work ability will be.

This reminds me of a friend who is very good at photography who often goes to her daughter's school to help take event photos, which also serves as a "living resource".

Realizing this, I began to pay attention to opportunities. Once my daughter came back and said to me, "Mom, today we learned a lesson about osmanthus flowers, and the teacher asked us if we had eaten osmanthus cake, and I told everyone that I had eaten it, my mother could do it, and my classmates and teachers were very envious of me." ”

"Why do they envy you? Isn't it only you who have eaten! ”

"Maybe, there are fewer children who have eaten, and you still make it for me to eat, not buy it outside, they are more envious."

At that time, I had a small idea of whether I could give the osmanthus cake I made to every child to taste, and then share the specific method to make a small class for parents. I bravely knocked on the small window of the class teacher, but the teacher agreed immediately, and immediately finalized the time of the parent class with me.

And when I told my daughter about it, she was so excited that she spent half an hour rehearsing with me every night.

The atmosphere on the day of the event was particularly good, and my daughter also gained the feeling of becoming the "center of the universe" on that day.

Finally, after more than half a year of hard work, I found the most comfortable and sincere opportunity for me to communicate with the teacher, and these communication based on education itself is also the most direct and effective way for my daughter to get the teacher's attention.

OK Mom finally said:

Finally, I would like to say more: the communication with teachers is really not about frequent and infrequent chats, but about being serious and cutting to the point where teachers need parents' cooperation. Whether the child receives enough attention is not to "ask for attention" at any time, but to let the child understand that his performance and the teacher's attention are equal.