Many people feel that the child's life is carefree, what troubles! Therefore, few parents will pay special attention to their children's mental health.
But in fact, children will also have a variety of psychological disorders, of which anxiety is the most common. Toot Mom wants to talk to you about the psychological problem of children's anxiety today.
Are there more anxious children?
According to relevant psychological surveys in China, the proportion of children with anxiety conditions is as high as 24.78%.
In daily life, children encounter a variety of situations that can trigger anxiety, such as learning stress, being criticized by teachers or parents, speaking in public, and taking large exams.
If the level of anxiety caused by the relevant situation is more severe or lasting, it will cause a series of abnormal symptoms, such as nausea and vomiting, panic and shaking, irritability, and lack of concentration, which will affect the child's learning and life. If not timely counseling and treatment, then in the future encounter similar situations, children are prone to anxiety, and even evolve into anxiety disorders and other mental disorders.
Children's expression ability is generally weaker than that of adults, so they are not good at using words to accurately express their true feelings.
Child psychologists have found that the vast majority of children will take a repressive approach to suppress themselves when they are anxious; some children will have behavioral changes, such as impulsive irritability, insomnia, missociality, and decreased appetite. When these manifestations are not severe and prominent enough, it is often difficult to attract the attention of parents.
However, it is undeniable that the incidence of childhood anxiety disorders is increasing year by year, and it has the characteristics of strong universality, great harm and unstable performance. Therefore, it is particularly important to detect the child's abnormalities early and treat the child's anxiety in a timely manner.
How to cope with your child's anxiety?
1. Give children a channel to vent their emotions
Traditional education has always had the saying that "boys have tears and do not flick", which makes many boys forced to suppress their emotions from an early age. This is a very wrong approach. Crying is not a sign of weakness, and emotions must also have a reasonable outlet.
Boys should be allowed to cry. Otherwise, it will trap pressure and bad emotions in the bottom of the heart, forming a "psychological toxin", which is not conducive to the spiritual growth of children.
You can vent your emotions and divert your attention by painting, playing games, writing a diary, reading books, playing ball, listening to music, playing with blocks, or finding friends to play ball, running, etc. : During exercise or socializing, the brain secretes endorphins and dopamine, two chemicals that trigger pleasure and make children happy.
If the child is willing to talk to you, you must listen patiently, even if you do not speak, you can not say words that hit or deny the child. Otherwise, you close the door to communication with your child.
2. Understand the triggers of children's bad emotions
Parents should properly understand the psychology of children, pay attention to the emotional changes of their children, and know what are the triggering factors for bad emotions, such as academic problems, problems with classmates, and first-time schooling.
If your child encounters these problems, please give psychological support and help in a timely manner. Don't think like this:
"Where the anxiety of a little child comes from, it is all pretentious!"
"Bad with classmates? What's there to say about this little thing, deal with it yourself! ”
"Dad was living in school, and he didn't adapt to it, why are you so squeamish?"
……
A child's heart is fragile and needs the care of parents. Pouring cold water will only hurt the child's heart and cause a rift in the parent-child relationship.
3. Help children improve their self-confidence
For example, appropriate methods are used to help children improve academic performance, develop personal strengths, etc., and help children develop a healthy and positive attitude.
Yan Yuan, a thinker and educator in the Qing Dynasty, once said: "It is better to have ten children than to have a long prize." This means that counting ten mistakes of a child is not as effective as praising and rewarding a child for one strength.
Psychological research has also found that human nature is eager to be praised and praised, people always consciously or unconsciously use the views of others to measure their own value, and care about the evaluation of those around them. For children, praise and encouragement are like sunshine, which can sweep away the haze in their hearts. Remember, good kids are exaggerated.
4. Establish a complete and harmonious family relationship.
If the parents are divorced, special attention should be paid to protecting the child, and more companionship and love should be used to dispel the child's anxiety.
There are 4 "magical" words for parents.
The first sentence: "It's amazing, today you have improved again!" ”
The second sentence: "Come, let's see, well, this problem is well done!" ”
The third sentence: "Don't worry, it's not a matter of your ability, it's just that you practice less, and if you practice more, you will naturally learn!" ”
In the fourth sentence, the teacher must have said to the parents in front of the child: "It's really remarkable, this child is particularly capable, you look at this progress today..."
How can parents guide their children to cope with anxiety?
1. Understand your own ideas
Parents can let anxious children simply record their current thoughts in a notebook, or fill in the blanks to complete the ideas, such as:
"I sometimes worry..."
"Can't sleep, I'll think..."
"I just had a fight with my classmates, and then I thought..."
Tell your child that you don't have to believe all your thoughts, that ideas aren't necessarily true. For example, the idea that "I will never be as good as others" is not a fact and does not represent the real self.
2. Correctly understand emotions
When a child has negative emotions, parents may blame the child for being overly worried. Doing so will block the child's outlet for catharsis, make the negative emotions accumulate continuously, and also make the child have the wrong cognition that "negative emotions are bad and completely impermissible".
Parents should encourage their children to correctly recognize and express emotions, and can guide children to convert emotions into words to express or draw them, and discuss these emotions with their children, such as:
"What color do you think it is?"
"Where do you feel it in your body?"
"How do you want to respond to it?"
……
3) Stay with anxiety for a while
Parents can tell their children that they don't have to be swayed by anxiety or suppress this emotion, let the child try to stay with the anxiety for a while, imagine the anxiety as a cloud in the air, and observe it and its changes intently.
4. Put anxiety in a small box
For a kid with strong hands-on skills, teaching him to make an anxiety box is also a good way.
First, let the child write down the things that are upset, worried, and uneasy on a small note. Parents then work with their children to make a box and decorate it with paints and ornaments that the child likes. Have your child put a small note full of anxiety into the box. Finally, place the anxiety box on the shelf.
This ritualistic approach allows children to accept and calmly deal with anxiety, while also eliminating anxiety.
Toot Mom said
If the above methods are ineffective for children, the child's anxiety cannot be alleviated or continues to increase, affecting daily life and learning, you need to go to the hospital to seek more professional treatment.
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