The other day I watched an interview video: "In Love 40 Times VS 0 Times in Love".
What's the difference between a single woman and a woman who has been in love 40 times?
Zhao Dayu, 28, has never been in love. She hopes that the first time she is in love, she can get married. But not once did she meet anyone who liked her, or who she liked.
Discouraged, she "gave up treatment", took ugly photos from black hair, and secretly expected that someone would like the "real" her.
For Zhao Dayu's behavior, Gu Man, who has been in love for 40 times, believes that "such self-abandonment cannot find true love." ”
Gu Man is in love, a bit like recruiting employees. Try first, suitable and then enter the probation period, and the boyfriend who finally turns positive is not more than 20%.
She felt that love needed to be practiced, however, after practicing 40 times, she had not yet achieved results.
Do you really have to practice so many times to meet the ideal lover who is truly right for you?
01
Ming Ming "two loves each other"
Why can't they come together?
When we look for the ideal lover in the subconscious, we always think that it is by fateful fate and the illusory "love intuition".
However, psychology tells us that meeting true love is not accidental, but rather regular, and it depends on your "love personality".
"Love Personality Theory" believes that the lover who is most suitable for you subconsciously is the person who matches your lifestyle, emotional patterns, experiences, three views and personality.
However, we often fall into the fog of love because we do not understand ourselves:
Taking other people's standards as a reference, it is difficult to find people who meet the conditions, but find that they are not impressed;
People who like you, you don't like, people you like, don't like you;
Talked about several times in love, each time because of "personality incompatibility" broke up...
In the classic Korean drama "Please Answer 1988", the kind and lovely girl Deshan was also confused in love.
At first, she liked the hard-mouthed boy ZhengHuan, but she liked it carefully, but in exchange for Zhenghuan's repeated "blows" and "disdain":
Hanging out together, Deoksan wears less, muttering that it is so cold, and Zhenghuan dislikes her, "So why wear a skirt, are you a fool?" ”；
The other boy, Kwadeshan, is cute and immediately jumps up and shouts," You're crazy?! As if virtue was bad in his eyes;
Every time he talks about his feelings for Deok Sun, Jeong Hwan always subconsciously avoids her, showing that he doesn't like her at all...
In fact, does Jeong-hwan really dislike Deok-sun? Not really!
In a place that Deshan was unaware of, he secretly did a lot of things for her, but this hidden liking was really too inconspicuous compared to his apparent "dislike".
From a psychological point of view, Zheng Huan's love personality belongs to the typical "avoidant type", obviously like but duplicitous, rather than face to face love, he is more inclined to use practical actions to prove himself, silently pay, wait for the other party to find out.
However, Deshan lacks attention and love since childhood, there is an excellent sister, there is a favored brother, she belongs to the typical "sensitive type", the appearance looks very grinning, in fact, the heart is extremely sensitive and inferior.
What she needs most is a direct gesture, no need to cover up, no need to try to guess.
So, the last person to be with Deshan was another boy, Aze. It was Aze who was willing to say love to her out loud and blatantly favored her.
Only such a man can give Zude a sense of security, guard her, and give her happiness.
It's not that Jeong-hwan is bad, it's just that for Deok-sun, "avoidant love" is really not suitable for her.
Deshan was lucky to meet Aze who was willing to take the initiative to walk towards her. In life, you and I often linger in confusion, and even constantly "trial and error" and get hurt.
How can I find my true love?
02
See the character of love
In order to find the perfect lover in the subconscious
Writer Li Bihua once said:
"Only among about ten million people can there be a pair of beams and blessings that can transform butterflies." The others are only moths, cockroaches, mosquitoes, flies, scarab beetles... It is not a butterfly, and it is not as beautiful as imagined. ”
Whether two people can eventually become a family member and fly into a butterfly, the most important reason may not be the electric flint of the moment, nor the appearance of men and women, the door to the door.
The most important thing is whether the personalities of the two can fit together like two gears, even if their size, shape and speed are very different.
What is your love personality?
What kind of person is your ideal lover?
What conflicts might arise between you? How to maintain a relationship for a long time?
There are many factors that affect love, but personality is undoubtedly one of the more traceable ones.
If you also want to find the ideal love that is truly suitable for you, then, through professional psychological testing tools, understand your love personality, and find the one who is most suitable for you, rather than waiting in a daze and uneasy temptation, it will come more directionally.
To this end, 8 psychologists from One Psychology jointly developed the "Ideal Lover Test", which will:
From the four dimensions of motivation source, cognitive style, emotional tendency, and coping pattern, 16 different personality types are summarized, and according to your results, analyze the perfect lover type that suits you most in your subconscious.
Finally, provide appropriate strategies for different stages of love, assess possible love crises, and give corresponding emotional advice.
-Ideal Lover Test-
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Test questions: 29 questions 丨 Test report: 7 pages
After the test is complete, the generated report is saved permanently
-What you will get-
"Part of the following presentation report"
01 丨 Your ideal lover portrait
02丨 Love strategy at all stages
03丨 Hints of possible emotional crises
04 丨Exceptive advice for maintaining intimate relationships
-Ideal Lover Test-
▼
Test questions: 29 questions 丨 Test report: 7 pages
After the test is complete, the generated report is saved permanently