The old Ding in "Parental Love" died very suddenly, he was still playing chess with Jiang Defu in the morning, and died on the toilet in the afternoon due to constipation.
The play does not show the scene of the family's grief and crying, and when relatives and friends mention his death, they only lament the impermanence of the world.
Thinking about it carefully, Lao Ding's death in this way is also a kind of luck, after all, he did not suffer.
But looking back on his life, you will find that this way of dying is like a big joke, with half pity and half ridicule, drawing a scrawled end to his life.
As an audience, just when I was lamenting for him, I suddenly found that the hidden pain of Lao Ding's life is actually the hidden pain of most of us.
1. Fate always jokes with Lao Ding with ill will, and he can only endure with humility
Old Ding Mingming and Jiang Defu have similar conditions, even more cultured than Jiang Defu, but they are not as good as Jiang Defu.
Old Ding Bonezi has a literary temperament, likes to dance and ink, and is eager to find a wife who can read and hyphenate.
However, his marriage was arranged by his family, and his wife, Wang Xiu'e, was three years older than him, vulgar and ugly.
After some officers developed, under the pretext of refusing arranged marriages, they divorced their wives and found a good relationship. But Lao Ding couldn't do it, because his wife was a cousin, he still had several children, and if he divorced, he would be poked in the spine by his relatives in his hometown, and his parents would not allow such a thing to happen.
So, he could only put up with his wife and endure the marriage.
Seeing that Jiang Defu married a cultured Anjie, he couldn't help but have a sour grape mentality, telling his comrades-in-arms that the capitalist lady was squeamish and would not do anything, taking the lead in watching Jiang Defu's jokes.
Later, his wife Wang Xiu'e died, and he finally had the opportunity to find a cultured woman. He fell in love with Ge Meixia, who taught with Anjie, but Ge Meixia's family composition was not good, and the political commissar Wang Zhenbiao did not approve his marriage application.
He has old and young, and he does not dare to be like Jiang Defu in those years, desperate, and in the end he can only endure the pain of cutting love.
Ironically, Wang Zhenbiao, who had stopped Lao Ding, later married Ge Meixia.
After that, Lao Ding took a fancy to Wu Medical Aid, and the marriage application was handed over, only to learn that Wu Medical Aid had hidden his marriage history from him. He asked Wu For help to ask for clarification, but he didn't expect that the woman scratched his face like a shrew.
Again and again, when the ideal is about to be realized, Lao Ding is re-entered the bottom by reality in a playful way. He is like a clown whose fate repeatedly plays tricks, aggrieved and unwilling, but has no ability to fight back.
Going around, Lao Ding finally compromised with reality and married dehua, who had no culture.
In terms of marriage, Lao Ding is not as good as Jiang Defu, and everything is not satisfactory in his career.
At that time, Lao Ding replaced Jiang Defu in the school, which should have been a good thing. For this, he also apologized to Jiang Defu. But who knows, bad luck, he was later assigned to the island.
At that time, Jiang Defu was very popular on the island, and when he came, he could only be a subordinate of Jiang Defu.
It was as if God had been joking with Lao Ding. What he wants is always yin and yang, and he can't ask for it. What he didn't want, but fate poured out to him, such as Wang Xiu'e and Jiang Dehua, who spoiled him and loved him.
2. The educated old Ding seems to be old from birth
Although Lao Ding, like Jiang Defu, came from the countryside, his cultural level was much higher than that of Jiang Defu. He usually likes to dance and ink, and is very pursuing in cultural accomplishment.
In his later years, everyone returned to the island together, and Ouyang Yi, who had worn a "hat", was extremely excited. Those dark days became his capital to show off to others. He stood at the bow of the ship and recited Su Shi's "Jiang chengzi Mizhou hunting" with great enthusiasm.
Wang Zhenbiao commented that Ouyang Yi was not sophisticated, but Lao Ding said: "This is his cuteness." ”
Ouyang Yi is a cultural person, with the purity and pride of cultural people, and the frivolity and childishness of cultural people.
Old Ding said that Ouyang Yi was cute, and it was precisely to appreciate his frivolity and childishness. Because this is the most scarce thing in Lao Ding's life.
As the writer Lu Yao said: "I seem to have a feeling: I was born an adult. ”
This sentence is full of bitterness of prematurely carrying the suffering of life.
Of course, Lao Ding is not as miserable as Lu Yao's childhood, but he also seems to have not been a "little Ding" time, when he was young, everyone has always called him Lao Ding, he has always been very deep in the city government, making anything, any decision, weighing the interests and losses.
It was as if he had never had the willfulness and impulsiveness of a young man. But in his heart, he longed to be like Ouyang Yi, to be a light and willful child, without scruples. Sadly, he couldn't.
He carries the hopes of a family and the burden of a family's life. He did not dare to take any risks, for he did not have the capital to bear the cost of making mistakes. Therefore, he lived his whole life in stoicism and constantly compromised with reality.
If he is just a big old man with big nerves, then these sufferings in his heart will be easier to bear. But he has the sensitivity of a cultured person, the true disposition of a reader, and the strong pursuit of an ideal life, all of which make his compromise in front of reality appear heavier, more helpless, and more depressed.
3. The hidden pain of Lao Ding's life is also the hidden pain of most of us
Why did the creator let Lao Ding die on the toilet? To put it bluntly, it is because Old Ding has been suffocated all his life, his heart is blocked, he wants to vent, he can't vent, he wants to be patient, and he can't bear it, so he should be suffocated like constipation.
What is Lao Ding's full name? I'm afraid no one remembers, everyone has always called him Old Ding. Because his life is like passerby A, passerby B, passerby C, passerby Ding... Like most people who struggle desperately between ideals and reality.
We once had such a strong desire to pursue an ideal life, but we were gradually defeated in the face of reality, and we compromised step by step.
Going round and round, a thousand turns, when we thought the ideal was about to come true, the next second we saw it being smashed to pieces.
In the words of Kong Sheng, the director of this play: "Life is always joking with everyone, whether we can be sensitive to the paradoxical and upside-down humorous elements in it, and realize its value, or whether we will laugh at all kinds of yin and yang with a humorous eye, depends on our intelligence." ”
Wise people, in the face of the jokes of fate, will laugh and accompany them to the end, do not escape, do not complain, experience it completely, and extract from it what is valuable to themselves.
If Lao Ding can accept what has happened, no longer dwell on the past, fully devote himself to every present, and feel the beauty of life in the midst of his encounter with Dehua, perhaps those unwilling and stubborn will dissipate with the wind, and life will suddenly become cheerful.
Many times, we think that we want to settle the problems thrown by fate, but in fact, what we should balance most is our resistance to the pain of the past.
As Zhang Defen said: "What you resist will continue." ”
Only by learning to accept can we seize the opportunity to grow in pain and get out of the bad circle of life.