See a popular passage on the Internet:
"At a certain age, we have to throw away four things: meaningless drinking, people who don't love you, relatives who look down on you, and friends who are hypocritical. But we must have four things: self-confidence on our faces, kindness in our hearts, bones that melt into our blood, and strength that is carved into our lives. ”
This is true, but it should be added that the point of "looking down on your relatives" is that those relatives who are snobbish and snobbish and hypocritical also need to be careful, or even "thrown away".
Mr. Yang Dai wrote in "The Two of Us":
"Only those who are humble are most likely to see the truth of human nature."
Those who "look down on your relatives" can be seen at once. But when you have a better life, those who pretend to look up to you are not easy to detect their true heart.
When you have money and ability, don't help your relatives these 2 kinds of help.
01 Handle household chores
As the saying goes, "It is difficult for a clean official to break the housework", and the family affairs of relatives must not interfere.
For the mother-daughter relationship, Venus once said: "See through and don't say broken, mother and daughter do it."
Mother and daughter are still like this, not to mention relatives!
After graduating from the grandmother's cousin, Dr. Doctor, she stayed in the first-tier city, developed there for a few years, bought a house, lived a prosperous life, and got the salary in hand.
When my cousin was 35 years old, she finally got married, but it didn't take long for her to divorce. The former cousin-in-law actually took advantage of his cousin's business trip to bring his lover home, but he did not expect his cousin to return early. The house belonged to the cousin alone, and that night the cousin let him roll up and leave, and the next day the cousin resolutely went to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce.
Two years after the cousin's divorce, the cousin of the sister-in-law's family was abused by her husband, which just let the cousin who returned to her hometown know about it. My cousin said indignantly: "There are only zero and 100 times of domestic violence, and divorce must be obtained." ”
At that time, the cousin hesitated, saying that she quit her job because of the birth of a child, the house was also her husband's, where to live after the divorce, she could not always go back to her mother's house, and her mother firmly disagreed with her divorce. The child is only two years old, no one helps to bring it, there is no way to find a job, after the divorce, life is really not going to be ah.
My cousin was rich and powerful, and at that time she said: "Leave, I will rent you a house for two years, give you two more years of living expenses, and when the child goes to kindergarten, you can go to work." Women are on their own, and they cannot suffer in such a marriage. ”
With the support of her cousin, her cousin successfully divorced. But the aunt complained about her cousin, saying that if there was no cousin to intervene, the cousin would not divorce.
Originally, the cousin was grateful to the cousin, but who could have imagined that after half a year, the cousin would remarry, and the reason for the divorce at that time was all attributed to the cousin. Saying that at that time, it was only her husband who slapped her, and she was said to be domestic violence by her cousin, forcing her to divorce, causing her children to have no father to accompany them.
When this word reached her cousin's ear, she was really mad and said that she was slapped at that time? A slap as far as going to the hospital? Didn't she always complain that she was widowed parenting, and now she said that she had her father's company? I'm really paying, contributing, not flattering!
In fact, this cousin and cousin have the best feelings, but after this incident, not only the two of them, but also the two families have almost no contact.
02 Borrow a room
Even if you have more houses, don't lend the house you can't live in to your relatives. It's easy to borrow in, it's hard to move out again.
The neighbor Uncle Zhang regretted terribly lending the house to his nephew to get married, and Uncle Zhang had only one daughter and had settled in the big city. Uncle Zhang and his wife live in the county, both are retired teachers, and they changed their big houses a few years ago, and the original house was targeted by his brother's family.
Because his nephew wanted to get married, but he had not bought a marriage house, Uncle Zhang's brother repeatedly begged Uncle Zhang to temporarily lend him the house and let his son get married first.
He also said that Uncle Zhang's daughter was far away, and he would let his nephew take care of him and give him a pension in the future. Uncle Zhang also thought of this in his heart, and felt that in case of an illness in the future, his brother's family might need their help.
Uncle Zhang and his brother said well, only borrow for one year, and when their family has saved some money, they will buy their own house and move out immediately. But one year became two years, two years became three years, and after Uncle Zhang mentioned the matter of asking for a house several times, the younger brother's family regarded him as an "enemy". The younger brother said that he was so rich and the house was not used, so what was wrong with my son living, why was he so stingy, and he didn't know how to help his brother. Uncle Zhang's younger brother also said that he supported his parents a lot, and the house should be compensated to him.
When Uncle Zhang heard this, he felt that there was really no need to take care of brotherly feelings, and finally sued his nephew before he returned the house. Of course, the brotherhood is gone, and the relatives are gone.
Xiaojiao Heart Language:
As the saying goes: "The friendship of a gentleman is as light as water.".
This means that the friendship between gentlemen based on morality is elegant and pure, light as water. There is no need for material as a foundation to start and maintain friendship, nor does it need to maintain friendship through win-win, friendship is tacit and light.
The best state of communication between people is that "the friendship of gentlemen is as light as water", not only between friends, but also between relatives.
The above are two stories that happened around me, and I hope that readers and friends can take this as a warning.